


Pirouette

by cosmicrecyclingbin



Series: Pirouette-Verse [1]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Dancer!Kurapika, Denial of Feelings, Doctor!Leorio, Fluff and Angst, M/M, One Night Stands, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, ballet dancer au, leopika - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:42:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 52,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27277420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicrecyclingbin/pseuds/cosmicrecyclingbin
Summary: Pirouette- a term used to refer to what many call the most difficult move in ballet. It requires incredible strength, control, and skill, as well as the ability to focus unwavering attention in one direction as the world turns around you.Kurapika has but one goal, to become a prominent dancer on the Neo Broadway stage, but a drunken one-night stand with a handsome doctor threatens to shift his focus and spin his life out of control.This is a very self-indulgent fic featuring my comfort ship. Updates will be sporadic.
Relationships: Kurapika & Leorio Paladiknight, Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Series: Pirouette-Verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2033383
Comments: 315
Kudos: 520





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: the beautiful title art is by the lovely and talented @khamichu_ on Twitter!!!!

[ ](https://twitter.com/khamichu_/status/1332275127334133764?s=09)

Kurapika was typically what one would call a "responsible person". His most extreme hobbies consisted of things like library hopping, and his wildest exploit to date was the time he had accidentally walked out of a Chili's with one of their glasses and decided not to return it. It wasn't that he was a boring person, just a practical, unproblematic kind of person. This was why his current predicament was especially surprising.

The first thing he noticed was that he was warm, very warm, and that there was a heavy something slung across his body that was definitely _not_ his weighted blanket. 

The second thing Kurapika noticed was the thundering pulse in his cranium and the sour taste in his mouth. Against his better judgement, he peeled open one heavy eyelid and attempted to survey his surroundings. Upon finding a man clinging to his torso and snoring _horribly,_ he quickly shut his eye again and immediately began going through the ten stages of grief all at once. Was he sweating from stress, or what he figured must have been a hangover?

He let out an exasperated groan and raised a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. He tried to focus, to recall _anything_ from the previous night.

Kurapika, being the responsible, practical, unproblematic person that he was, hadn’t so much as been tipsy since his freshman year of college. He realized early on that heavy drinking only led to clumsy, regrettable decisions. It seems he had proved himself correct.

Kurapika couldn’t even remember what day it was, let alone whatever had driven him to drink so heavily. He felt like he was just on the cusp of grasping a detail when there was a deep grumble from the head that was currently buried in his stomach. He slowly opened his eyes, watching as the stranger clung tighter to him and nuzzled against his bare skin.

At a later time, Kurapika would reflect back on this experience with a deep sense of shame, embarrassment, and even perhaps a bit of self-loathing. As it were, at this moment, he was simply confused, and a little curious. He took stock of the moment. He looked around the dimly lit room, assessing that it indeed was not his own apartment that they were in. The room looked like the typical straight guy’s bachelor pad, bare-boned other than the queen-sized bed and the desk in the corner, piled high with textbooks and a lap-top perched precariously on the edge. There were a few pictures in frames on the desk as well, but Kurapika’s alcohol-addled brain wasn’t letting his eyes work well-enough to make them out at the moment. Black out curtains suggested that the owner of the room had an unorthodox sleep schedule.

The bed itself was comfortable, even with the unfamiliar person flung across him. The sheets and blankets were twisted around their feet, and there was no denying what they had been up to in the previous hours, as they were both very naked- the evidence of the night’s activities staining Kurapika’s thighs and giving his lower back a twinge of pain every time he shifted.

The man himself, as previously mentioned, was tightly clinging to Kurapika as if he were a teddy bear, and his long, long legs were half hanging off the bed. Kurapika couldn’t see his face, but took note of the wild waves of dark hair that had been cropped close at his nape and seemed to have been gelled back from his forehead, and the stubble that tickled his stomach. His eyes trailed from his head down the strong slope of his back, to a trim, narrow waist. He caught himself before his eyes could go any lower and quickly turned his head- a bit too quickly, as his head throbbed that much harder in complaint.

As Kurapika had just begun to formulate a master plan of how to slip out from under the guy and leave without ever waking him up, a horribly loud alarm sounded, no-doubt from a cell phone lost somewhere in the room. Kurapika’s hands shot up to cover his ears as his face scrunched up in pain, and it was then that the mystery man shot up like a bolt of lightning had struck him in the ass. The perfectly sculpted ass- not that Kurapika was staring at all. The man rattled off curses and stomped around the room, flinging clothes left and right, searching for the source of the blasted noise. Said noise, much to Kurapika’s chagrin, seemed to rise in volume the longer it went ignored.

Kurapika took the opportunity of having free movement to scramble with the blankets, sitting up against the headboard and pulling them up to his chin. He breathed in the scent of laundry soap and cheap men’s cologne. It wasn’t until the man said a victorious little “Aha!” and shut off the noise, that he turned around and seemed to finally notice the guest in his bed.

“Oh. Um, hello,” the hand not holding his phone reached up and scratched at the back of his neck as he gave a sheepish grin, “I’m, uh, sorry if my alarm woke you up. I leave it on even when I don’t have work the next day, cause if I turn it off I forget to turn it back on-”

Kurapika merely blinked at the man, stuck between being confused at why he was bothering to tell that to a stranger, and amused at how he was rambling. 

The man seemed as confused and put-out as he was, continuing to ramble as he tossed his phone aside to pull on a pair of boxers from the floor.

“-I’m sorry I didn’t really consider the fact that it might disturb potential bed partners. Oh but I don’t usually really have bed partners- Not to say that you aren’t welcome!!! I just never really expected to bring anyone home- that is, I usually don’t have enough time to- You know what, I’m going to shut up now, I’m giving myself a headache,” the man sank down in his desk chair and put his head in his hands.

Kurapika blinked, before letting out a snort, his shoulders shaking from the strain of keeping him from laughing outright.

The man looked up with a furrowed brow, and Kurapika’s eyes finally focused enough to take in his features. He had a strong jaw, covered in dark wiry stubble that suited him. He had a prominent nose and a wide mouth, but the feature that really struck Kurapika was his deep, kind, brown eyes. They were ringed with purple from an obviously recurring lack of sleep, but that didn’t take anything away from the rich hue and soulful sparkle.

The owner of the beautiful eyes spoke again, pulling Kurapika’s attention back to the situation at hand.

“I’m sorry, this is really embarrassing, but I don’t remember your name. I don’t even remember meeting you last night. I must have already been a few rounds in when we bumped into each other at the club.”

_Ah, right, the nightclub. Goddammit, Pairo._

Kurapika mentally cursed his best friend’s mere existence. It had been Pairo’s idea to unwind with booze and dancing after Kurapika had received yet another rejection for a lead role in an upcoming production. This was the fifth lead role stolen from him since he graduated from the York New School of Dance and became a professional on Neo Broadway.

Pairo had claimed to be sick of seeing his friend in a rut, and was determined to have him let loose for once.

Somehow, he didn't even think Pairo had intended for Kurapika to get quite _this_ loose.

It took a second for Kurapika to realize that the man was probably waiting for him to say something in return. He cleared his throat before speaking, his raw throat making his words raspy.

"I confess, I don't remember anything from the point my friends and I arrived at the club," he paused, giving the man another once over and trying to keep the flush of shame from reaching his cheeks, "Pardon my rudeness, I don't really know the etiquette surrounding one-night stands."

The stranger gave a chuckle and shook his head, "Fair enough, I usually don't do this sort of thing either. It's rare that I don’t have work the next day, or that I'm not on-call at least."

Kurapika’s brain fog let up enough to have him put the pieces together, "You're a doctor."

The man nodded with a proud grin, "Yea, I am."

Kurapika took in the soft look on the mystery man -mystery _doctor's-_ face, and felt like his stomach itself was doing a string of cabrioles. And it definitely wasn't the alcohol doing that. 

He sifted a hand through his messy blonde hair and schooled his face.

"I'm sorry to intrude upon your routine. Your time is valuable."

The doctor scratched at the stubble on his chin, "Oh no, don't worry, I'm on a bit of a sabbatical this week."

The man twisted in his chair and located a pair of round-framed glasses. He sat them on his nose and cursed before snatching them back off and wiping the lenses clean on a discarded shirt from the floor. When they were sufficiently smudge-free, he slid them back in place and turned back around to face Kurapika. The man let out a gasp and leaned forward, as if seeing him for the first time.

Kurapika flushed, "Is something wrong?"

"No, no, I'm sorry!" He waved his hands frantically, " You're just. Very pretty."

Kurapika stared blankly at the man for a moment, before covering a laugh with his fist and arching a slender brow, "You know that makes it sound like you usually only have ugly people in your bed, right?"

Kurapika watched as heat gathered around the man's ears and throat and his arms crossed over his bare chest.

"Now look here, I said I usually don't have _anyone_ in my bed."

"That doesn't sound any better for you."

Kurapika smirked in satisfaction as the man clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes.

"You're a brat."

Kurapika expected him to continue, however all he did was stand up and stomp over to the bedroom door, fling it open, and slam it shut as he left the room.

_Oops. Perhaps I shouldn't have said that..._

Kurapika wasn't sure how long he would have this moment alone, and so took the opportunity to scramble -as quickly as his body would let him- to put on his clothes from the floor. Thankfully, his phone was in his jacket pocket.

He tapped the screen and saw that he had over 20 text messages and calls, and several voicemails, all from Pairo. He winced and sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed and contemplating if going through all of them was worth it, before deleting them all and deciding that he'd call Pairo as soon as he left this place. 

He was just about to go find his unlikely host and tell him he was leaving, when the man himself came back in with a large glass of water and a bottle of aspirin.

"Here, you look pretty green around the gills."

Kurapika hesitated before taking the gracious offering. He popped four aspirin into his mouth and swallowed them with a mouthful of water. It was then that he realized how parched his throat was, and he quickly finished off the glass, a few beads of water escaping down his chin and neck.

The doctor watched the path of those droplets with an intensity that had Kurapika’s hair standing on end. He sat the glass, now empty, on the edge of the desk.

"Thank you."

The man shook his head, giving a nervous laugh.

"It's the least I could do."

There was a moment of awkward silence before Kurapika stood, stretching with all the grace he could muster. He hissed and pressed a hand against his lower back.

_This is going to be a pain to deal with at rehearsal._

The doctor had the decency to look abashed.

"I suppose I'll be going then," Kurapika checked his phone for the time, before looking back up at the man's face.

"Oh," this man wore his emotions on his sleeves, and it wasn't hard to figure out that he was disappointed by this news.

"Well, before you go, if it isn't too much trouble…"

Kurapika arched a brow, silently willing him to just get on with whatever it was he needed so that he could get back to his regular, responsible, unproblematic life and forget this ever happened.

The man stepped closer, invading the dancer's space, and making him hyper-aware of their height difference.

"It's just that, it's kind of a shame that neither of us remember last night. Any of it. Could I maybe kiss you?"

Kurapika swallowed, heat creeping into his features. He narrowed his eyes, assessing the doctor's face for ulterior motives, but all he saw was an earnest and hopeful smile.

He sighed, shifting his weight from foot to foot, "Alright, fine, but no funny bus-"

His words were suddenly muffled by the doctor's mouth, as one large hand supported his back and the other cradled his jaw.

Kurapika tried his best to be indignant, stand his ground, and keep his eyes open.

That lasted all of 3 seconds before he was practically melting in the doctor's hands.

His eyes slid closed and he tilted his head slightly, parting his lips for the tongue that was eagerly coaxing them open. His slender fingers found purchase on the man's broad shoulders, and he leaned up on his bare toes to deepen the kiss himself.

Warmth spreaded through his gut, igniting a long-ignored match within him.

There was a very specific reason that responsible, reasonable, practical, unproblematic Kurapika didn't go out, or party, or date.

_I cannot afford distractions._

His crimson eyes snapped open and he pushed the man away from him, wiping his mouth with his silk shirt sleeve. He avoided the oblivious, love-struck gaze on the doctor's face and willed his heartbeat to slow.

"If that kiss was anything to go by, I bet we had a pretty good time last night," the doctor gave a self-satisfied smirk, "Oh by the way, my name is-"

Kurapika cut him off quickly, "Don't tell me. It's better for both of us if we stay strangers."

The handsome face of the doctor soured a bit, "The hell's that supposed to mean?"

Kurapika turned and walked to the bedroom door, pausing at the threshold. When he turned back, he was looking somewhere over the man's shoulder, unable to meet his questioning gaze. 

"I'm sorry, doctor, but you of all people should understand when I say that I really don't have the time to know your name."

He turned back around and strode through the apartment, sliding his shoes on to sockless feet. He was relieved that he wasn't followed as he slipped out the door.

He was about half a block away when he finally let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and hit the speed dial. It rang twice before connecting and he quickly pulled it away from his ear as Pairo immediately went into a loud, concerned frenzy.

The dancer stopped in the middle of the busy sidewalk as his friend continued to rant on the line, giving a deep sigh.

_Well, that was fun. So glad I'll never see that guy again._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurapika was hoping that after he had left the doctor's apartment, that he could forget the whole ordeal. He was sorely mistaken.

“You know, when I said  _ ‘get wild and de-stress _ ’, sleeping with some rando wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. But, hey if it got the job done- Gah!”

Pairo narrowly dodged Kurapika’s hair brush as it careened in his direction. It smacked loudly into the metal wall of lockers behind him, causing a few heads to turn and look at the two in befuddlement. The assailant himself was sitting on one of the long wooden locker room benches, carefully pinning his hair back from his face and into a tight bun. He didn’t even bother to look up.

“I’m never letting you talk me into  _ ‘de-stressing’  _ ever again,” While the dancer’s remark sounded quite sharp and unforgiving, the two had been friends long enough for Pairo to know that there was no real malice behind it.

“Look, it’s not like it’s the end of the world, it was one night. Come on, what was so bad about it? Was he ugly? Did he smell bad?” Pairo sat next to Kurapika, adjusting the tape on his shoes.

Kurapika rolled his eyes, slowly stretching down to adjust the tape with a muffled groan. Pairo turned and arched an eyebrow at him. Kurapika ignored him in favor of  _ carefully  _ adjusting his posture on the bench.

_ When did these things get so uncomfortable? _

It took a moment for Kurapika to realize Pairo was still waiting on an answer. He sighed, sitting back up and flexing his ankle.

“No, no, he didn’t smell bad. I mean he kind of smelled like Old Spice but I won’t fault him for that,” he shrugged.

Pairo tilted his head, “So he was ugly then?”

“What? No! I mean-” Kurapika’s cheeks heated and he took a deep breath to compose himself before lying straight through his teeth, “I didn’t particularly notice.”

His best friend leveled an unimpressed gaze at him before giving an exasperated sigh and leaning straight back until his head met the floor on the other side of the bench.

“Pika, I’ve known you for literally my entire life. I don’t know why you bother lying to me when we both know that I can see right through your bullshit.”

He sat back up to find Kurapika with his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

“You know, even if the guy  _ was  _ ugly, there’s no shame in that. Hisoka sleeps with ugly people all the time. And they sleep with  _ him _ .”

The redhead in question paused as he was walking by and gave a chunk of Pairo’s chestnut hair a good tug, “Don’t be fucking rude. What’s got Kurapika so wound up that you needed to drag my sexual promiscuity into it, hm?”

“Pika slept with an ugly guy he met at the club last night.”

“I did  _ not  _ sleep with an ugly guy last night,” he bit back, looking around to make sure that no one else was listening in to their very loud conversation. The other dancers at least had the decency to pretend they weren’t tuning in.

Hisoka cocked a hip and put a hand on his chin in contemplation.

“So which part of that statement isn’t true? Was the guy not ugly or did you not sleep with him?”

Kurapika curled himself into a ball, hoping against all odds that the floor would open up and swallow him whole. Unfortunately all he managed to receive was a painful reminder of the predicament that started the whole mess. He shot back up ramrod straight with a hiss, a hand flying to his lower back as if it would somehow rectify the situation. He blatantly ignored Pairo’s snickering for his own sanity.

“Well that tells me everything I need to know,” Hisoka crossed his arms and nodded in understanding before walking away, a satisfied smirk on his face. His curiosity had been satiated for now.

Kurapika schooled his features even as heat crept up from his neck to his ears. He prayed to whatever deity was out there that that would be the end of the interrogation. It was not.

  
  


“So if he smelled good and wasn’t ugly, what was wrong with him?” Pairo scratched the back of his head in confusion, “Was he just that bad in bed?”

“I already told you, I don’t remember even meeting the guy at the club,” Kurapika was rapidly losing patience with this conversation.

“So, the problem is?”

He gave Pairo a sharp glare and fidgeted with the seams on his leggings for several minutes in silence. He waited until most of the others had vacated the locker room before taking a deep breath. He stood, bracing a foot against the bench so he could massage a couple of knots out of his calf muscles.

Pairo waited patiently, sitting with his hands folded in his lap like an eager student. Kurapika blatantly ignored him and stared down at what he was doing.

“He wasn’t ugly. That’s the problem.”

Pairo looked around as if trying to pull a further explanation out of the humid locker room air, before settling his quizzical gaze back on the blonde, “I’m sorry, I don’t quite follow.”

Kurapika switched his legs and finally looked up at his friend, “He wasn’t ugly. And he didn’t smell. And I don’t remember how he was in bed, but based on circumstantial evidence, I think he must have at least been decent,”

_ He was certainly a skilled kisser, that much I can say for certain. _

“He also gave me aspirin and water for the hangover, and apologized when his phone alarm went off, leading me to believe that he is a very kind and caring individual.”

When Kurapika didn’t continue, Pairo nodded and stood, beginning to pace. Kurapika ignored him in favor of picking his brush up off the floor and stuffing it into his gym bag. Suddenly Pairo paused and turned back to look at him.

“Ah, I get it. You’re doing that thing again.”

“What thing? I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You know  _ exactly  _ what I’m talking about. The thing. The  _ Kurapika  _ thing. The thing you do where when you become infatuated with anyone or anything other than dance, you freak out and pretend like it doesn’t exist because you’re scared that having anything like hobbies or a real human connection will destroy your chances at success.”

Kurapika looked up and spluttered, trying to think of something to say in rebuttal, but all he ended up doing was spout gibberish and look offended. 

Pairo crossed his arms and arched his brow, knowing that he’d successfully called him out yet again.

Sighing in exasperation, Kurapika threw up his hands, “Fine, you know what, you’re absolutely right. That’s exactly what I’m doing. I would truly appreciate it, however, if you would  _ stop psychoanalyzing me.  _ I pay my therapist $500 bucks a month to do that for me.”

“Melody is your  _ physical  _ therapist.”

“Same thing.”

Pairo rolled his eyes as far back in his head as they could go.

Kurapika shoved his gym bag into his locker and headed for the door, Pairo at his heels.

“Look, I get that you are career-focused. That’s not a bad thing!”

Kurapika nodded in agreement.

“You know what else isn’t a bad thing? Occasionally sleeping with nice, not ugly guys who don’t smell bad.”

Kurapika whipped around, an eyebrow twitching. It was a warning.

Pairo raised his hands up between them, “I know, I know, I’ll drop it. But will you at least tell me what he looked like?”

They began to walk again, quickly reaching one of the studios. 

“He was tall.”

They both approached the barre and began to stretch. 

“You wanna give me a little more to work with?”

Kurapika felt several sets of eyes on him and looked up to find that most of the other dancers were staring at him, some speaking in whispers to each other behind the cover of their hands.

“Pairo, why is everyone staring at me?”

“Um, I mean that’s kind of to be expected, isn’t it?” he stood back up out of his stretch, “You know, considering…”

“Considering what, exactly?”

Pairo looked around before leaning in closer, “Are you.. Do you seriously not know?”

Kurapika swallowed around a lump in his throat.

“Know  _ what?” _

Pairo sighed and grabbed his friend’s shoulder, forcing him to turn around and face his reflection in the mirrored wall.

Kurapika looked on with abject horror, raising a hand to his neck. His very  _ colorful _ neck.

_ If I ever see that guy again, he’s a dead man. _

He turned his head this way and that, but there was practically no bare skin left on his neck to be seen. He pulled down the wide collar of his sweatshirt and sure enough, deep purple and red splotches continued down his chest.

When the initial shock wore off, it was replaced by a manic sort of irritation. Kurapika turned away from his reflection, grabbing Pairo by the front of his tee shirt and hauling him in until their noses were pressed together. Pairo swallowed.

“And you didn’t bother to point this out to me earlier  _ because?!”  _ If yelling and whispering at the same time was at all possible, that was Kurapika’s chosen tone and volume.

“I thought you knew! How could you not know?!”

“I barely had time to run back home and take a shower before coming here, you think I’ve taken a moment to primp in front of a mirror?!”

He let go of Pairo’s shirt and the other dancer stumbled back.

“Look, Pika, it’s not really  _ that _ bad.”

“Pairo, I look like I was mauled by a bear.”

He turned and leaned against the barre, burying his face in his arms and trying desperately to erase what he could remember of the last 24 hours from his memory.

“Don’t worry, if it really bothers you, you can always wear turtlenecks to practice,” Pairo patted his friend on the back, “And, as long as it’s gone by the week of the production, Bisky won’t chew you out about it.

It was then that there were a couple of claps from the head of the room, calling attention away for practice to begin.

  
  
  


Between rounds of practice, classes, small meals, and a physical therapy session with Melody, Kurapika thankfully was too distracted to dawdle on his thoughts of the previous evening’s indiscretions. When he and Pairo finally made it back to their shared apartment late that night, he slumped onto the couch and let out a sigh of relief.

The peace was short-lived, however, as Pairo eagerly sat on the floor in front of the couch and looked up at him like a puppy begging for scraps.

“What _ now?” _

“You never finished telling me about your mystery throat mauler.”

Kurapika groaned and grabbed a pillow, proceeding to attempt to suffocate himself with it.

When that didn’t work, he pulled it to his chest and rested his chin on it.

“Fine, okay. He was tall-”

“As you’ve already established, yes.”

“- _ Tall,  _ and narrow. He was all leg, really.”

Pairo snorted, “What a flattering description. Remind me not to let you give a speech at my wedding.”

Kurapika reached up with one hand and tugged his hair out of it’s now-disheveled bun, picking the pins out of his tresses one by one as he ignored the remark and continued.

“He had dark hair, stubbly face,” he paused, distracted by the memory of how the doctor’s bristly facial hair had felt against his skin as they kissed.

He shook his head and cleared his throat, sitting up a little straighter.

“He was tan, he had brown eyes- What?”

Pairo leveled him with a startled gaze, “I’m sorry, you mean to tell me that you slept with the definitive archetype of  _ ‘Tall, Dark, and Handsome’  _ and just want to sweep that under the rug?”

Kurapika pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, “Yes, Pairo, he was tall. He was dark. He was handsome. He was also a doctor.”

_ Whoops, shouldn’t have said that. _

“You slept with a  **_doctor?!_ ** ” 

Kurapika quickly stood and pushed past Pairo, marching out of the living room and into the hall, where he slipped into his room and slammed the door behind him. Unperturbed, Pairo followed right behind him, a look of bewilderment on his face.

Kurapika flopped down onto his bed and Pairo hovered at his side.

“I’m sorry, you mean to tell me that you landed yourself in the lap of a  _ doctor  _ and didn’t so much as give him your number?!

“You sound like my mother. Stop that.”

He pulled his phone out of the pocket of his jacket and pretended to scroll through his feed with interest.

“I really don’t get why you think success and happiness can’t exist together at once. You’ve never even let yourself  _ try. _ ”

Kurapika sighed and looked up from the screen.

“Success is what will make me happy. I will find true joy after dethroning Chrollo as the top male dancer in York New. After that, I’ll  _ consider _ finding a handsome doctor to sleep with regularly, okay?”

It was clear by the look on Pairo’s face as he crossed his arms that this conversation was far from over. However he let his shoulders slump and simply shook his head.

“Fine, fine. Okay. I won’t ask anymore questions about the doctor. I will, however, suggest that you ice your neck or something. It’s a little painful to look at.”

And with that, Pairo glided back out the door, leaving Kurapika with another headache and a face flushed from embarrassment. He turned and screamed into his pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was not expecting as much encouraging feedback as I've received, thank you all so much for your kind words. With so many people as excited for chapter two as I was, I had to crank it out right away. Chapter three will be out soon!
> 
> Also, sorry if there's any weird formatting issues, I've been having a heck of a time with it  
> 
> 
> No betas, we die like homosexuals.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurapika really doesn't think there's anything wrong with how he lives his life. It takes some motherly meddling to get him to see that maybe, just maybe, it's really okay to have a little fun once in a while.
> 
> This chapter provides some back story and a peek in to Kurapika's family dynamics!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shorter, but the next one won't be far behind! Thank you all once again for the kind words and support!

As the week went on, it appeared as though Pairo would hold true to his promise to not bring up the subject of the doctor again. Kurapika threw himself back into his work, brushing aside the drunken night of debauchery as little more than a momentary lapse in control. Distracted as he was by his own monotony, the only time his thoughts strayed to the fateful encounter was when he saw the slowly fading bruises and teeth marks on his neck in the mirror.

It wasn’t hard to keep busy when everyday began at 5:00 am and ended at midnight. During the months of practice and rehearsals before show season, with the exception of recovering from an injury, there was no day off. Sundays, however, were half-days, and practice and classes would end around 2:00.

Instead of heading home to catch up on rest or hang out with friends and family, however, Kurapika chose to stay late and rent out a smaller studio to practice by himself for a few hours. Sometimes Pairo would join him, but the majority of the time he would facetime his mother while he stretched, before losing himself in self-critique.

  
  


“Oh, by the way dear, I spoke to Pairo yesterday,” 

He couldn’t see his mother’s face on the screen from his position, legs spread with his upper body face-first and flat on the floor, but he could sense by her tone that he wasn’t going to like where the conversation was about to go.

“He told me something that I find very interesting, do you know what I’m talking about?”

_Goddammit Pairo._

“I’m sure I don’t, what exactly did he tell you?”

Kurapika slowly sat back up and put the soles of his feet together, pulling them in and pressing his knees down with his elbows. He could now see his phone clearly from it’s position propped up in front of him, but he avoided his mother’s gaze anyway.

“He said you spent the night with a _doctor,_ and didn’t even give him a way to contact you again after. A _doctor,_ Kurapika. Now you know, money isn’t everything, but it _is_ nice to have, especially when you’re in a career that results in an early retirement and expensive medical bills.”

Kurapika groaned and put his head in his hands.

“Mother, we’ve discussed this. I don’t have the time or energy to put into finding the rich husband of your dreams.”

“I know, Kurapika, and you know I’ve always praised you for your incredible work ethic. I couldn’t be more proud of the young man you’ve grown into. But I worry about your emotional health, and the toll that dancing takes on you as a person.”

  
  


Kurapika brought his knees up to his chest and settled his chin and arms on top of them.

“I focus solely on dance and nothing else because I _know_ my career will be short. I’m not stupid. I’ve seen the statistics, and I know that in all likelihood I don’t have more than six or seven years left, if I’m lucky. That’s why I want to be the best I can be while I still have the time.”

His mother sighed deeply from the phone screen.

“Kurapika, do you know why your father and I adopted you?”

He did, it was something his parents mentioned many times. He sighed and waited for her to continue anyway.

“When we walked into that room, full of kids of all shapes and sizes, all alone in the world, we didn’t know who we’d end up with,”

“But I saw you in the corner, all by yourself, sitting exactly as you are now as a matter of fact. Sad little ruby-colored eyes and the blondest hair I’ve ever seen. You looked so lonely, Kurapika. When we signed those adoption papers, we made a vow to never let you feel so alone again. That’s something I take very seriously.” 

The dancer put his legs down and picked at the seam of his leggings.

“I’m not alone though. I have Pairo.”

“Yes, I know that. Pairo is a great friend and I’m glad you have him. And you have myself and your father as well. But sweetheart, your father and I won’t be around forever. Pairo, and your other friends, they have their own lives to live too,”

“Kurapika, I just want to know that you’ll be taken care of when you can’t dance any longer.”

Kurapika swallowed around the lump that had formed in his throat.

  
  


She let him chew on that for a moment before changing the topic.

“Sweet Pairo also told me that this doctor fellow gave you quite the impressive parting gift. I assume that’s why you’re wearing a turtleneck to practice in?”

Kurapika’s face flushed and he gave an indignant huff, crossing his arms and looking away from the screen completely.

“You know, I really hate how buddy-buddy the two of you are sometimes. I swear you love him more than you love me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, sweetheart, it’s just that he loves _you_ almost as much as I do and I rely on him to take care of you when I’m not around. We have a special bond.”

_Special bond. Right._

“I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, mother.”

“Oh really?”

“ _Yes.”_

His mother paused and gave a long-suffering sigh.

“Kurapika Kurta, look at me.”

His gaze snapped to hers on the screen obediently.

“Kurapika what day is today?”

Kurapika’s brow arched and he tilted his head.

“It’s Sunday. I always call you on Sunday.”

The screen lagged a bit as the woman shook her head in exasperation.

“The _date,_ Kurapika.”

He leaned forward to grab his phone and brought it to his face. His thumb swiped down so he could see the date written across the top of the screen.

“It’s April fourth, what does that have to- **_Oh_ ** _._ ” 

He pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

“Yea, _Oh._ You forgot it was your birthday, again. Pairo and I had a feeling you would, so I sent him a bit of money to take you and some of your friends out tonight.”

The dancer looked back at his mother’s smiling face, his eyes narrowing.

“You sent Pairo money to force me to go out on my birthday.”

“No one is going to _force_ you to do anything, sweetheart. And I send money to Pairo all the time. Where do you think the groceries come from? If I sent the money to you, your fridge would be empty.”

_Honestly, I never really thought about it…_

"Of course, if you really don't want to go out, that's fine. But I would really like it if you did."

Kurapika closed his eyes and was silent for a moment. He then sighed and flopped onto his back, holding the phone above his face.

"Fine, okay, I'll go."

His mother's face lit up.

"Good. Now go home and take a shower. You'll never find a boyfriend if you look and smell like _that._ "

" **_Mom._ **"

She broke into a laugh and Kurapika gave an uncharacteristic pout. 

"I'm only teasing you, sweetheart. Have a good time tonight. Happy birthday."

Kurapika took a deep breath and gave a genuine smile.

“Thanks, mom.”

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurapika's birthday out with friends does not turn out how he thought it would. Oh well, he'll worry about the consequences tomorrow.

Despite promising his mother that he would, indeed, go home and get ready to enjoy a night out on the town, Kurapika ended up staying to practice for two hours.

Considering he usually stayed for four, Pairo was quite impressed when he came through the door so early.

After practically wringing his best friend’s neck for selling him out to his mother, he took a long hot shower and let Pairo fuss over what he was going to wear.

It took twenty minutes of begging, but Kurapika finally relented and put on the pair of skin-tight faux-leather leggings that had been shoved in the back of his wardrobe for years. He was adamant about not wearing the fishnet top and pasties, however, and settled on a black cropped tank top.

He brushed his hair behind his ears and put in one single, dangly earring, before stepping back from his mirror and scowling.

“What’s wrong? You look great!” Pairo said, from his position on Kurapika’s bed.

“Pairo, I look like a gay pirate hooker.”

“Everyone looks like a gay pirate hooker when they turn 24.”

Kurapika rolled his eyes and leaned forward to inspect the fading marks on his neck and chest.

“Do you wanna put some concealer on that or?”

Kurapika shook his head, picking up his brush to fiddle with his hair again.

“No, my hope is that they’ll discourage weirdos from trying to come on to me.”

Pairo raised a brow, “Alright, cool. Now hurry up, I told everyone to meet us there at six. Being late to your own party is only acceptable when your guests won’t be waiting outside a noisy club in the cold.”

  
  
  


Kurapika and Pairo  _ were  _ late, but it was entirely Pairo’s fault, as he decided last minute that he had to change his outfit for a third time.

They met their friends outside the same booming club that they’d been to the previous week. Hisoka was there, with his on-again-off-again boyfriend, Illumi, who was a prominent fashion model. Machi and Shalnark, a makeup artist and fellow dancer from the company, respectively, were also along for the ride. They stood in line, gossiping for about fifteen minutes until they were finally able to get inside.

The pulsing lights and bass of the music put Kurapika in a slightly better mood. The group shoved themselves into a corner table at the far end by the bar. Hisoka and Shalnark took it upon themselves to take the group’s drink orders and went off to the bar to grab them.

“So, I know it’s none of my business, or whatever, but where did you disappear to the last time we were here?” Machi cocked a bright pink brow at him, “We were actually worried about you. Pairo nearly went feral.”

Kurapika pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes as Pairo himself chimed in.

“Oh you never heard? Pika ended up leaving with a hot doctor. That’s why his neck looks like he was strangled by an octopus.”

Kurapika slapped his hands against the table top, “It does  _ not- _ ”

“Yea, it does.”

“It really does.”

“I’d have to agree.”

Even the normally quiet and stoic Illumi chimed in, which told Kurapika that he was fighting a losing battle.

Machi gave a long-suffering sigh and inspected her short, but neat nails, blowing a bubble with her chewing gum and popping it before speaking again.

“Hey, you do you, but maybe take it easy on the long-islands this time, okay?”

_ Why did I agree to this again? _

It was then that Hisoka and Shalnark returned with two trays of shots and mixed drinks. They slid into the booth and Hisoka raised his glass.

“A toast, to our beloved Kurapika. May this next year of your life bring you everything you dream of. And may your misguided sexual escapades continue to be fruitful!”

There was a chorus of “Here, Here!” as his friends clinked their glasses together, while he sat with his head in his hands.

While conversation picked back up around him, Kurapika grabbed one of the shots and knocked it back, not even bothering with the lime and salt.

He concentrated on the way it burned going down his throat, looking out into the crowd of undulating bodies on the dance floor. Just for a moment, he thought he saw a familiar face amongst the dancers, but he shook it off and tuned back into his friends’ conversation, only to find that he was still the topic at hand.

“I’ll bet twenty bucks that Kurapika walks out with another hot stranger tonight.”

“ _ Shalnark.” _

“What? You get attention everywhere you go, it’d be easy for you to snag anyone in this room.”

“But that’s just it, Kurapika doesn’t _want_ the attention. He’s married to his leotard,” Machi crossed her arms over her chest.

“Just because he’s focused on dance doesn’t mean he can’t indulge himself in other…  _ activities _ … once in a while,” Hisoka wrapped his arm around Illumi’s shoulders, a mischievous smirk on his face, “How dull life would become without such  _ recreational  _ pursuits.

Kurapika’s face pinched and started to turn red. His eyebrow twitched and he rapped his fingers against the surface of the table. He reached forward and grabbed his long-island, sipping on it generously.

“I keep telling him that getting a boyfriend won’t kill him, but he won’t listen to-”

Pairo was interrupted by Kurapika slamming his glass down on the wooden table top. Everyone looked up at him, wide-eyed. His scarlet eyes shone with an intensity that most of them had never seen before. Pairo, who had been witness to this side of his friend before, swallowed nervously as he began to speak.

“I really don’t think my love-life or lack thereof is any business of any of yours. Discussing it like I’m not even here is rude. I don’t know why any of you think you have the right to say anything about what I do and don’t do, romantically,”

“Machi, have you even  _ attempted  _ to ask out Pakunoda, yet? Or are you content to continue to pine forever?”

She glared at him in silence, sinking down further in her seat.

“And Hisoka, Illumi, weren’t you two  _ engaged _ like three months ago and called it off so you could sleep around without feeling guilty? Your relationship is a train wreck.”

Hisoka gave a scandalized expression, while Illumi merely took out his phone and pretended he wasn’t listening.

Before anyone could pipe in, he continued, pointing an accusing finger at Shalnark.

“Shalnark, isn’t Uvogin 20 years older than you? Do you have repressed daddy issues or something?”

Shalnark clenched his jaw, seething.

Pairo grabbed Kurapika by the shoulder, “Pika, I really don’t think-”

“And  _ you,”  _ He turned towards Pairo, shrugging off his hand, “You haven’t maintained a relationship for longer than three months since we graduated highschool!”

Pairo gasped, his face contorting in genuine hurt. There was a long moment of pause before Kurapika seemed to realize what he’d said. 

_ Oh, oh no. _

“Well, I am very uncomfortable with the energy we’ve created here in the club this evening,” Hisoka sipped at his drink, “Perhaps it’s time for a dance.”

His friends quickly stood from the booth, making their way towards the dance floor. Pairo hesitated before Kurapika waved him off, and then he was alone with his guilty thoughts.

  
  
  


Kurapika slowly nursed his drink, stirring it around with his straw. After about ten minutes he contemplated going out to the floor to join his friends, but a tall shadow fell across the table, pulling him from his thoughts. He looked up and his breath caught in his throat.

Standing there before him, hands in his pockets, was the mystery doctor. He was dressed in a sharp suit, without his glasses, a soft sort of lazy grin on his face.

“Hey there, I thought that was you I saw. Didn’t really expect to see you again.”

Kurapika took a sip of his drink and cleared his throat.

“I don’t make a habit of going to clubs.”

“So you say, but you’re here again. What’s the occasion?”

The doctor sat across from him, much to his chagrin, and rested his chin on his hand.

Kurapika took the straw out of his glass, polished off the rest of his drink in one gulp, and sat back. He sighed, crossing his arms over his chest.

“If you must know, it’s my birthday.”

The man’s face spread into a wide smile, his eyes twinkling with mirth.

“Is that so? What’s the birthday boy doing all alone in the corner? Where’d your friends run off to?”

Unable to meet the man’s inquisitive gaze, the dancer concentrated on the crowd of club patrons beyond him.

“They’re out dancing at the moment.”

The man arched a brow, “I see. And you aren’t with them  _ because _ ?”

Kurapika huffed, “You ask a lot of questions.”

The doctor chuckled, sitting up straight, “It’s alright, you don’t have to tell me. Can I buy you a drink though?”

_ No. No, absolutely not. _

“Sure, why not.”

The words were out of his mouth before he knew his lips were moving. The instant regret he felt was trampled, however, by the way the man’s face lit up at the response.

The doctor rose to his feet once more, pushing a few errant locks of his dark hair back from his forehead.

“What would you like?”

“Surprise me.”

The man cocked a brow and smirked before nodding and walking over to the bar.

  
  


As soon as he walked away, Kurapika put his face in his hands and groaned. Perhaps the alcohol was already catching up to him.

_ What the hell am I doing? _

He looked back up from his palms when he heard the light thud of two glasses being sat on the table.

He inspected the contents of his glass before giving it a sip. It was fruity, pleasant in flavor, but something was missing.

“This is non-alcoholic.”

The man nodded, taking a sip of his own glass that appeared to be full of nothing but club soda.

Kurapika arched a carefully groomed eyebrow in question.

“Not for nothing, but why the beverage choice?” He took another sip while waiting for the man to answer.

“Well, I’ve already had a couple of drinks myself, and judging by the way you threw back the drink you had when I arrived, you’ve probably had a decent amount already as well.”

He leaned forward in his seat, elbows on the table.

“If things end up going the way they did last weekend, I’d like for us to actually remember it this time.”

Kurapika choked on his drink, coughing and sputtering as heat flooded his features and his eyes watered. He grabbed a napkin from the center of the table and dabbed at his nose and mouth, trying to clear his throat.

He met the doctor’s amused gaze with an unimpressed frown, crumpling up the napkin and throwing it at him. Unfazed, the man’s grin only widened.

“You are  _ extremely _ presumptuous.”

“Nah, just hopeful.”

The dancer blamed the alcohol in his system for the warm, fluttery feeling in his gut. He swallowed thickly and averted his eyes back to the dancefloor.

They sat in silence for several minutes, Kurapika’s foot bouncing under the table from nerves as he felt the man’s unwavering gaze upon him. He was a few seconds away from telling him politely to hit the road, when suddenly the man stood and offered his hand.

“You should be out there having fun. Let’s dance. I can tell that you want to.”

He did want to.

Kurapika stared at the man’s hand for a moment, before looking up at his face silently.

The doctor wiggled his fingers, an earnest look on his face.

“Look, just one little dance. If you really despise me as much as you want me to think that you do, you can easily just lose me in the crowd.”

_ I’m going to regret this. _

Kurapika gave an exasperated sigh, before giving in and letting the man take his hand. He was pulled to his feet and led to and through the crowd on the sunken dance floor.

Kurapika looked around for any of his friends, but couldn’t find any familiar faces in the crowd. That was probably for the best.

The doctor let go of his hand in favor of holding him loosely by the waist, giving him an out if he chose to ditch him after all. They easily fell into rhythm beside the rest of the club patrons.

  
  


Despite not going to clubs very often, Kurapika actually did enjoy the experience. There was something cathartic about breaking away from the strict rigidity of ballet to simply let his body feel music and respond to it.

He could feel the bass through his feet, and it sent electricity through him. Before long there was a genuine smile on his face. He and the doctor bumped and swayed around each other, maintaining a bit of respectful distance, before the other dancers packed in closer around them.

Kurapika found himself plastered to the other’s front, a pair of strong hands bracing him so he wouldn’t lose his balance. He bit his lip, looking up into the doctor’s twinkling eyes. Despite the alarm bells going off in his head, he pressed closer, hands sliding up the man’s chest. One anchored on his shoulder, the other he used to yank the man down by his tie so he could speak into his ear.

“Who wears a suit to a  _ nightclub? _ ”

The doctor took a minute to compose himself from his dance partner’s sudden forwardness, before speaking right up against Kurapika’s bejeweled earlobe.

“I’m a doctor, my wardrobe consists of nothing but suits and scrubs. I think this is the better option.”

Kurapika let out a laugh that got drowned out by the music. He let go of his tie and smoothed it back against his chest before leaning up and putting his arms around the man’s neck. He felt the hands on his waist drift to his hips and he tried to ignore what that small gesture did to his heart rate.

He swallowed, pretending to ignore that their bodies were suggestively sliding and swaying against each other at point blank range.

“So why are  _ you  _ here, doctor? Don’t you have patients to save and prescriptions to write?”

The man chuckled, “It’s the last night of my sabbatical. I have work tomorrow, but I came out to support my friend Pietro. He’s the one in the booth tonight,” he gestured with his head in the direction of the DJ.

Kurapika nodded in understanding, and they let conversation die between them. They continued to dance against each other, but the intensity of the doctor’s gaze on him made him close his eyes.

He let the music clear the anxiety from his mind, and he let his body do as it pleased. He brought his arms down and blatantly groped at the doctor as his hands slid down his chest. He grabbed the man’s belt loops and yanked him that much closer. Even without seeing, he could tell by the squeeze of the doctor’s hands on his hips  _ exactly  _ the effect that the move had on him. He smirked.

It made him feel powerful.

He let go of the man and spun in his hands, pressing his back against his chest. He leaned his head back against a shoulder, one hand coming up to settle on the opposite side of his neck, His free hand settled on top of the hand on his hip and squeezed as he rolled his hips suggestively. He felt a hot puff of breath against his neck and it made him shiver.

The doctor adapted to the change quickly, not missing a beat. His unoccupied hand slid up from the dancer’s hip, across his exposed stomach, and settled at the edge of his crop top. Fire spread across every inch of skin the doctor touched.

Kurapika wondered if this was what happened last time, if they had drunkenly seduced each other on the dance floor.

“ **_You’re gorgeous_ ** ,” the man murmured against his ear. Kurapika was struck by the sincerity in his voice.

Kurapika, who had hair plastered to his flushed and sweaty cheeks and objectively was dressed like a gay pirate hooker, had never felt more attractive.

The doctor’s hand slid down his thigh and he knew he was done for.

He turned back around and grabbed hold of the lapels of the doctor’s jacket. He felt hands settle on his ass and finally opened his eyes to see the intense look on the doctor’s face. His pupils were blown wide and it looked like he’d been chewing on his bottom lip.

They gravitated towards each other until their faces were merely a hair’s breadth away from one another.

Kurapika’s thoughts and emotions were a muddled mess. 

His gaze flickered between the doctor’s mouth and hungry eyes. His tongue slipped out to wet his lips and he tugged on his lapels, a silent offer. 

The man eagerly took the bait, leaning in the rest of the way to slot their lips together. Kurapika returned the kiss fervently, and soon they weren’t even dancing anymore.

Before the kiss could turn into anything else, the doctor pulled away and put his lips against Kurapika’s flushed ear.

“Do you want to get out of here?”

He looked up through his sweaty bangs and the look on the doctor’s face tore his remaining scraps of hesitation apart.

_ I’ll worry about this tomorrow. _

  
  


“Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, this chapter was an absolute rollercoaster to write. Rating will be going up for the next chapter!
> 
> Also, come on Kurapika, you can't just ~ask~ someone if they have daddy issues. askdhsjadhkajsdk


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurapika, who is far too busy for an entanglement, gets entangled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! As you'll have noticed, the rating has gone up. The majority of this chapter is just straight up smut. If that's not your thing, but you still want the tiny bit of plot movement, I have demarcated the end of the spice with ***

In the taxi on the way to the doctor’s apartment, Kurapika fired off a text to Pairo. He didn’t want to leave him worrying all night  _ again _ , especially after having already upset his friend on a deeply personal level at the club. 

The pair had the decency to keep their hands to themselves in the car for the most part. They sat a respectful distance apart in their seats, but the doctor’s large hand felt like it was searing straight through Kurapika’s clothing from where it sat on his thigh.

The tension in the air was heavy between them, even as they sat in companionable silence. Kurapika’s whole body felt like it was on edge.

When they reached the doctor’s apartment complex, he insisted upon paying the cab fare. Kurapika relented, as he didn’t have any cash with him anyway. After bidding the driver goodnight, the man grabbed his hand and eagerly pulled him along and into the brick building.

Both the small, slightly musty lobby and elevator were empty, thankfully, for as soon as the metal doors began to close the doctor had him pinned to the wall. He leaned in and mouthed at Kurapika’s neck. The dancer shuddered, hands fisting in the man’s blazer as his eyes fluttered closed.

“So,” he purred into Kurapika’s ear, “Do I get your name, or?

His eyes snapped open, a dangerous look crossing his face that made the doctor swallow hard. Kurapika watched his Adam's apple bob in his throat.

“No.”

“ _ No?”  _ The doctor looked legitimately surprised. The elevator door opened up and Kurapika pushed him off, grabbing him by the tie and pulling him into the hall.

They barely made it inside the man’s apartment before they were on each other again. Their shoes and the doctor’s jacket were dropped right at the threshold. The doctor braced his arms against the door on either side of Kurapika’s head, leaning in to give him a far more x-rated kiss than they’d shared at the club.

Kurapika groaned against his lips and chased after them when he pulled away. He opened his eyes to find a questioning gaze directed at him.

"And you're adamant about the name thing?"

_ God he's  _ **_persistent._ **

Kurapika gave a huff of frustration, hands reaching up to tug the doctor’s tie apart and fling it away.

"Do not misunderstand the situation," he fumbled with the buttons of the starched white shirt, "I'm here so we can get each other out of our systems and move on with our lives."

The doctor arched a brow, mulling over things for a moment before nodding.

"Okay, if that's what you want. I'll just have to give you a name, myself."

Kurapika scoffed, getting frustrated with the buttons as his hands shook. The doctor pushed away his hands and quickly and elegantly made work of them before sliding the shirt off his shoulders and to the growing pile on the floor.

The doctor smirked as he pulled Kurapika’s shirt over his head. As soon as he dropped it, Kurapika was leaning up on his toes for another kiss, if only to keep the man quiet. He profusely denied to himself that the idea of a nickname had any effect on him.

The doctor hoisted him up by his thighs and walked with him to the bedroom, seemingly using nothing but memory to guide himself as he was very focused on the feeling of Kurapika’s mouth on his own.

They somehow made it through the door of the dark room without incident. The doctor sat him down on the bed and followed Kurapika on his knees as the dancer scooted backwards until he was against the pillows. He leaned over the blonde’s body to turn on the lamp on the nightstand.

Kurapika busied himself with unbuckling the man’s belt and gave a groan of frustration when he couldn’t get the man’s slacks off fast enough.

“Slow down,” he chuckled, pushing the offending garment off of himself, “We don’t have to rush.”

Unable to help himself, Kurapika ogled the way the man’s sharp hip bones and dark, wispy trail of hair disappeared into the navy material of his boxer briefs. He wet his lips with his tongue as his eyes took in the image of the man’s obvious arousal straining against the cotton.

Finally able to put his thoughts back in order, he spoke, “Don’t you have to be at work in a few hours,  _ doctor? _ ”

The man sat back on his knees and began to carefully peel Kurapika’s faux-leather leggings from his lower half, “Don’t worry, this won’t take very long at all.”

Kurapika arched a brow with an amused expression. He watched the man’s confident smirk change to a look of utter embarrassment.

“That... That did not come out the way it sounded in my head.”

Kurapika couldn’t help the laughter that spilled from his mouth. He wiped the tears of amusement from his eyes, missing the soft look the man was giving him.

“You are such an  _ idiot. _ ”

“And you’re  _ still  _ a brat.”

The doctor leaned in close to him, pressing the weight of his lower body against Kurapika’s. They both let out wanton noises of relief as their clothed erections slid against each other. Kurapika’s hands slid up the doctor’s biceps, over his shoulders, and brought his face closer by his jaw. His thumbs stroked the stubble on there, it was rough but not unpleasant to touch.

This close up, Kurapika could see that the doctor’s deep brown eyes also had flecks of green scattered around his pupils. His breath hitched in his throat as the man’s hands slid up his thighs and squeezed.

He watched the man bite his own lip before speaking.

“You have… Your legs are  _ incredible.  _ Are you some kind of athlete?”

“Something like that,” he murmured, arching his hips up for any bit of friction he could get. He pulled the man down for a kiss. It was sloppy and uncoordinated, but judging by the way the doctor groaned into his mouth, he didn't mind. 

He teased the doctor’s tongue with his own, luring it into his mouth and sucking the tip of it. The man pulled away, teeth tugging Kurapika’s bottom lip before letting go and moving on to his neck.

He sucked and nibbled a trail from the dancer’s jaw to his clavicle. Kurapika barely had enough brain cells working at the moment to remember something slightly important. One hand slid into the messy mop of hair on top of the doctor’s head and tugged. The man stopped what he was doing, a surprised grunt slipping from his mouth.

“No more marks above the collar,” he narrowed his eyes, “I mean it.”

The doctor nodded, a lazy grin spreading across his face, “So everywhere else is fair game, then?”

Kurapika rolled his eyes, pushing his damp hair away from his forehead, “Yes, now could you please shut  _ up  _ and put your mouth to better - _ ahh _ **_!”_ ** He threw his head back, a string of moans and curses interrupting his sentence as the doctor closed his lips around one of his nipples.

His eyes fluttered shut as the doctor’s tongue and teeth worked over the bud until it was pebbled and sensitive. One of his large hands slid up Kurapika’s ribs before settling on the opposite side of his chest, fingers giving his other nipple attention.

Kurapika was flushed and panting, writhing under the man’s body. If he had been in his right mind, he would have been mortified by how shamelessly needy he appeared.

He’d probably mourn his loss of dignity later in the shower.

The doctor proceeded to cover every square inch of his chest in love bites, while his hips grinded a slow, maddening rhythm into the other’s. Kurapika gripped onto the doctor’s broad shoulders and bit his lip to stifle his moans.

His unlikely bed partner seemed to be hitting the same wall of frustration that he was, for he quickly discarded their remaining scraps of fabric. Kurapika’s mouth ran dry and he tried to look anywhere but where their bodies were pressed together. The heat of skin against skin stoked the fire sitting low in his belly.

The doctor leaned over to retrieve a bottle from the nightstand, and Kurapika expected him to get right down to business, however it seemed he had other plans.

He sat the bottle by Kurapika’s hip and moved down his body. As soon as the man’s mouth was on his inner thigh, Kurapika’s hands were in his hair and he was keening. He felt him suck patches of skin into his mouth and bite, before soothing the area with his broad tongue. He did this from the crook of his knee to the apex of his thighs, and the further up he went, the louder Kurapika got. The subtle scratch of his scruffy jaw against his sensitive skin made his legs tremble.

When the doctor began laying hickeys across the taut skin stretched over Kurapika’s hip and pelvic bones, the dancer planted his feet into the mattress and arched his hips, his breath ragged.

Seemingly satisfied with his work, the doctor sat up and pushed Kurapika’s legs apart, making him gasp. He frowned, an apologetic look on his face.

“Sorry, did I hurt you?”

Kurapika arched a brow and answered by pulling his legs up and apart until his knees were beside his ears and he was practically folded in half, showcasing his incredible flexibility. The way the doctor’s pupils blew wide and his fingers dug into his own thigh in response sent a jolt straight to Kurapika’s groin.

“ **_Fuck_ ** ,” the man let out a ragged breath, scrubbing a hand over his face, "Oh my  **_God._ ** "

Kurapika wanted to say something to tease him, but all that came out of his mouth was a desperate, “Touch me,  **_damn it_ ** .”

The man shook his head as if to clear his thoughts and grabbed the discarded bottle of lubricant. He spread a generous amount on one hand and wrapped it around Kurapika’s neglected erection. The dancer hissed at the contact, his hands fisting the sheets below him. The doctor gave a couple of firm strokes, his thumb spreading around the precum that beaded at the crown.

Just as Kurapika was getting comfortable with the rhythm of the doctor’s hand, it left and reappeared at his entrance. One long, thick finger gently worked him open and he leaned in to swallow the moans that were falling from the blonde’s lips.

When the second finger slid in next to the first, Kurapika closed his eyes and bit his lip so hard it nearly bled. The doctor was patient, slowly easing away the tight discomfort. He crooked his fingers  _ just  _ right, causing the dancer to jerk and cry out in pleasure.

The doctor didn’t waste time after he was certain Kurapika was ready for more. He quickly doled out more lube and gave himself a few precursory strokes. He shifted the dancer’s legs onto his shoulders and slowly guided himself inside. Kurapika arched, gasping when he finally bottomed out.

The brunette took a moment to settle himself before sliding out and back home with a grunt of satisfaction. Kurapika met each thrust with a gasp or breathy moan.

He let Kurapika’s legs fall from his shoulders and they immediately wrapped around his hips. The doctor pulled out and adjusted the angle of his hips before slamming back in. Kurapika flung his arms around his middle and his nails dug into his strong back, making him hiss.

The doctor set a slow but deep pace that threatened to drive Kurapika insane. The man leaned in to nip and tongue at his bejeweled earlobe as he snapped his hips forward so hard and deep it made him see stars.

It was embarrassing how fast Kurapika was reaching his limit, but if the ragged breathing and shaking hand squeezing his hip were any indication, his bed partner was not faring any better.

Kurapika locked his ankles around the man’s waist and prevented him from pulling away too much, using his lower body strength to quicken the pace on his own. The man cursed against the side of his neck, faltering in his strokes before regaining his control and absolutely  _ throttling _ him.

Every hair on Kurapika’s body stood on end as the doctor fucked him into the mattress. He opened his eyes and looked up from beneath his lashes at the man’s face. Anything soft had been removed from his demeanor and he looked absolutely  _ debauched _ . His brows were furrowed in concentration and sweat beaded down his face and neck. The flush that began at his face stopped halfway down his chest. His lips were pulled back from his teeth and his eyes were positively  _ wild _ . 

Kurapika gave something akin to a whimper and his stomach twisted itself into knots at the vision presented to him.

It was hard to keep his eyes open, but he tried his best. His legs were starting to shake and he was moaning uncontrollably. He was right on the cusp, each thrust hitting his prostate dead on. He desperately clawed at the man’s back.

He felt the doctor’s hips stutter and watched him clench his jaw.

The man looked directly into his eyes, his voice low and absolutely  _ wrecked  _ when he spoke.

" **_Cum for me, Sunshine."_ **

It was a simple command but it ripped through Kurapika like a hot knife. He choked on his own breath, his eyes rolling back and his toes curling as the cord snapped within him. He screamed unabashedly at the searing pleasure that only increased as the doctor continued to snap his hips until he too, met his end with a guttural snarl. The feeling of his hot seed spilling inside him made him squirm and arch his back off the mattress. There would surely be welts on the man’s back from the way Kurapika scratched at him desperately. 

He wrapped his hand around Kurapika’s spurting cock and the dancer practically sobbed as he stroked him until he was spent and hypersensitive and he  _ blacked out. _

_ *** _

_ Am I dead? _

Kurapika was vaguely aware of the fact that the doctor had disappeared at some point and come back with a damp cloth. He couldn't open his eyes but he whimpered at the feeling of the cloth on his body.

He felt like his limbs were made of static and that his head had detached itself from his body.

He felt the doctor’s gentle hand card through his hair and push it back from his sticky face. He couldn't make out whatever words the man was saying, but his tone was reverent and soft and Kurapika quickly slipped back into unconsciousness. 

Kurapika woke when the doctor’s alarm sounded, a few hours later. His body and eyelids still felt incredibly heavy so he remained in place, wrapped up in the blankets the doctor must have pulled over him.

He watched the outline of the doctor in the darkness as he silenced the alarm and sat up with a groan. The man didn't turn the lights on, most likely out of consideration for his guest. Kurapika closed his eyes and listened to the padding of his host's feet as he left the room. A few minutes later the smell of coffee wafted in.

Kurapika didn't remember falling back asleep but he woke with a start to his own alarm an hour later. He sat up, looking around, before getting up to find the source in the dim light. He turned on the desk lamp and found his phone sitting on top of his hastily folded set of clothes. He picked the phone up and silenced the alarm, before noticing that a sticky note was attached to the back

He peeled it off and rubbed the sleep from his eyes so he could read what was written in what must have been the doctor’s messy scrawl.

  
  


_ Sunshine- _

_ Feel free to eat anything you find edible in the kitchen. You can have a shower before you go, too. Lock behind you when you head out.  _

_ I had a really good time last night.  _

_ -L.P. _

_ (xxx-xxx-xxxx) _

  
  


Kurapika sighed. Of course the doctor would offer up his initials and phone number. He probably thought this was a game.

Kurapika did take a shower, not wanting to have the remnants from the previous evening stuck to him at practice. He tried not to think about the fact that he was using the doctor’s soap and would smell like him all day.

When he got out he pointedly avoided the mirror, not wanting to see the marks all over his chest. He didn't want to look himself in the eye, either.

There was a sour sort of guilt and regret in the pit of his stomach.

He walked into the kitchen and discovered the fridge to be mostly empty. His stomach demanded sustenance, however, so he settled for one of the many Hungry Man frozen dinners he found in the freezer.

  
  


When he was fed and dressed he stood awkwardly in the middle of L.P.'s bedroom. 

Curiosity got the better of him and he examined the contents of the doctor’s desk. The stack of thick medical textbooks were well-worn and had note cards shoved between the pages. The thick layer of dust suggested they hadn't been needed in a while. Around a closed laptop sat several pictures in frames. A couple were of the doctor with a friend or two, but the one that intrigued him the most was that of what seemed to be a younger version of the man, as well as a woman with strawberry-blonde hair pulled back from her face.

He picked up the frame and inspected the picture further.

The boy couldn't have been more than fifteen. He had the same dark shock of hair as the doctor but much wilder, appearing gelled up into spikes. His face still held a bit of baby fat and he had a jubilant smile on his face. His eyes were a lighter, more caramel colored brown but they held the same deep kindness within their depths.

The resemblance was uncanny, and Kurapika wondered what their connection was.

He put the frame down and steeled himself. There was no reason to wonder about such things. He had no intention of returning, or seeing the mysterious L.P. again. He picked up the note the doctor had left him and contemplated it for a moment. Ultimately, he couldn't bring himself to throw it away. 

  
  


He sighed and put it in his pocket before heading out the door.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next couple of chapters we will be encountering some conflict and learning more about the mysterious Dr. L.P. ;)
> 
> Kurapika: I don't have the time or energy for relationships, my friends are enough for me
> 
> Also Kurapika: ditches said friends at the club after hurting their feelings, for a dick appointment
> 
> Also, sidenote, for some reason I imagined Kite as the cab driver 🤔 so stay tuned for the spin off fic of Kite's misadventures as a York New taxi driverbskfbdkdjfjfkm


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected proposition changes the course of Kurapika's path.

Pairo had already left by the time Kurapika got back to their apartment. He grabbed his gym bag and ran back out to jump back in the taxi. This was the closest he’d ever gotten to actually being late for the morning session.

It didn’t feel right.

When Kurapika made it to the locker room he made a beeline for Pairo and Shalnark who were sitting on the bench and putting on their shoes. He sat his bag down next to them and began changing his clothes.

“Good morning,” he said, not looking up from the contents of his bag.

After a moment of uncharacteristic silence, he looked up at his friends to find them leveling him with an unimpressed gaze. His gut twisted unpleasantly.

_ I don’t blame them for being angry.  _

“I’m sorry…. About what I said to all of you last night. I was completely out of line. You all were just teasing, but when I spoke it was with the intention to hurt,” he squeezed the material of his sweatshirt, “I’m very sorry.”

There was another moment of silence before Pairo gave an, “ _ And?” _

Kurapika looked down at his feet, fiddling with the loose strings on one of his sleeves.

“And I’m sorry for ditching you guys. That was… A large gap in judgement.”

Pairo shared a look with Shalnark and they both sighed. The blonde was the one who spoke first.

“You still owe apologies to everyone else, but…”

“We can’t stay mad at you,” Pairo finished, standing up and flinging his arms around his friend’s neck and squeezed.

Kurapika choked, “Pairo, you’re killing me.”

“ _ Good.” _

He let go and sat back down while Kurapika finished dressing himself and began putting his hair up.

“So where exactly did you go last night, huh? All you said in your text was ‘Leaving'. You are the CEO of vague texts, Pika.” 

Shalnark smirked, stretching his arms over his head.

“Well judging by the way he was limping when he got here, I think everyone owes me twenty dollars.”

“Not so fast, Shal,” Pairo leaned into Kurapika’s personal bubble and narrowed his eyes, seemingly trying to draw out any secrets from the bags around Kurapika’s eyes. 

Kurapika rolled his eyes and pushed him back by his forehead, trying to calm the blush that threatened to take over his face, “ _ What _ ?”

Pairo tapped his chin in thought and nodded to himself, “Pika… you didn’t go home with a stranger last night did you?”

Shalnark’s eyebrow cocked up and he crossed his arms.

Kurapika refused to meet either of their gazes as he fastened the tapes on his shoes. He swallowed but his throat was suddenly dry and he could feel his ears burning.

“Well, I suppose that would entirely depend on your definition of the word ‘stranger’.” 

Shalnark’s look of wide-eyed surprise was met with Pairo’s knowing smirk.

“Ahaha, Pika you smooth operator, you got a special birthday check-up from that hot doctor, didn’t you?” Pairo waggled his brows.

Kurapika buried his scarlet face in his hands and groaned.

“But wait, I thought you didn’t give him your number? How did he meet up with you?”

Kurapika propped his arm up on his knee and laid his warm cheek against his fist, sighing.

“He just happened to be there and spotted me,” he paused, trying to slide his thoughts into place, “He found out that it was my birthday and bought me a drink.”

Pairo seemed impressed, “Alright, okay. Dr. Sexy seems pretty smooth.”

“Pairo… The drink was non-alcoholic. His was too,” Kurapika bit his lip, the flush on his cheeks only deepening. He tried to sound angry but it wasn’t quite working, “This jerk told me he’d prefer it if we actually  _ remembered  _ having sex with eachother this time. Ridiculous!”

Shalnark gave a low whistle, “That is… honestly kind of hot. Dude wants to have hot sober consensual sex so you remember it? Must have been confident in his abilities.”

Kurapika rolled his eyes and stood up to put his bag in his locker, “Yea, well confident isn’t really the word I’d use.”

“Well, it isn’t being cocky unless he couldn’t back it up. So how was it?” Pairo was practically on the edge of his seat.

Kurapika’s back went rigid, and he remained facing his locker so the pair wouldn’t be able to see the look on his face, “I am  _ not  _ going to divulge that type of information.”

“Well, you didn’t come back home last night, so I know it must have been pretty good at least.”

Kurapika scoffed, slamming his locker.

“Fine, okay, you know what? It was great. It was very, very good. Are you  _ satisfied? _ ”

Pairo and Shalnark snickered.

“No but you sure are, aren’t you?” Pairo smirked.

Kurapika pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. 

All three of them filed out of the locker room and into the hallway.

“So, are you going to see him again?” Shalnark asked, “You know, since you had such a good time?”

“No.”

“Well that was a quick answer. Why not?” Pairo scratched his head in genuine confusion.

Kurapika sighed, pausing to lean against the wall outside the studio.

“Just because I had a good time doesn’t mean I want to pursue a relationship with him,” he looked down at his feet, “And I really don’t ha-”

“-Have time, yea we know,” Pairo sighed in exasperation, “But you know, you could just be friends with benefits. I feel like even just getting railed semi-regularly would do you a world of good.”

“I agree with that,” Shalnark chimed in, before slipping into the studio.

Kurapika and Pairo followed him, Kurapika scowling at the floor so hard it should have melted.

  
  
  


_ That is absolutely not happening. I do not need that type of situation distracting me.  _

  
  
  


The situation was already distracting him. All day his moves were horribly  _ off  _ and while he outwardly blamed it on the pain in his lower back, he knew it was truly because he couldn’t stop thinking about L.P.’s phone number that was sitting in the pocket of his pants in his gym bag.

His mistakes were painfully obvious to everyone and Bisky, the very short but high-strung artistic director and rehearsal manager, had pulled him aside at one point during practice to tell him to “get his ass in gear”.

It was humiliating.

Not wanting to deal with other people, especially his friends, Kurapika took his lunch break in one of the empty studios. He sat in the corner with his back against one of the mirrored walls, picking at his bland lean cuisine.

He had zoned out at some point and only snapped out of it once he noticed someone coming towards him. He scowled at his intruder.

“What can I do for you, Chrollo? You’re interrupting my lunch.”

The man stopped right in front of him, arms crossed over his chest. He frowned at him, seemingly to collect his thoughts before speaking.

“You’ve been too distracted lately. Your performance today was atrocious, and if I was Bisky I’d kick you out in a heartbeat,”

Kurapika’s face inflamed with a combination of shame and rage, his hand gripped his plastic fork so hard his knuckles turned white.

“Your arms were limp, your spins wobbled, and you looked like a dancing monkey. You do not deserve to be here. You’re dragging everyone else down. Don’t you think it would be better for yourself and the company if you just left?”

“Really, Chrollo? Don’t you ever have anything nice to say? Leave him alone,” Kurapika had been about to defend himself, when the sultry voice of a woman chimed in from the doorway.

“Pakunoda,” Chrollo turned to address the principal dancer as she strode forward, “This isn’t any of your concern.”

The tall blonde stood in front of the man, staring down her elegant nose at him, “Everything that happens in this company is my concern. You may be the  _ danseur noble _ , but you’ll never be the  _ leader.  _ It is not within your job description to criticize the other dancers.”

Fed up with not being able to say his own piece, Kurapika stood, his forgotten lunch left on the floor.

“It’s alright, Pakunoda, I don’t take much stock in anything he says,” He crossed his arms, glaring up at his rival, “While I appreciate your concern for the rest of the company, I assure you that I do have every right to be here. Unlike you, we  _ humans  _ do have off days.”

Pakunoda smirked as Chrollo rolled his eyes and turned to leave.

“Whatever you say. Don’t come crying to me when you humiliate yourself in front of the crowd on stage.  _ Ciao. _ ”

When he was gone Kurapika let out a deep breath and slumped back against the mirrored wall, suddenly feeling three times as tired as he already was.

Pakunoda stepped forward and put a comforting hand on his shoulder, “I don’t want you to think that I assumed you needed defending, I’m just getting really sick of his attitude.”

Kurapika snorted and cracked a small smile.

The principal dancer leaned back against the wall, bumping their arms together.

“Chrollo’s just worried that you’re going to take his spot. As he should be. Not only do you have more talent in your pinky toe than he does in his entire body, but you’re also far more versatile than he is.”

Kurapika, turned his head to give her an inquisitive gaze, “You really think that?”

She looked at him with a soft, motherly gaze and nodded.

“Absolutely. You were one of YNSD’s best and brightest. You're one of the only male dancers in the city to make your career in both male and female lead roles. When you auditioned for the company doing  _ La Sylphide  _ Bisky, Pariston, and I knew you’d be an incredible asset to the team.”

Kurapika looked down at his feet. He picked up one foot and began flexing his ankle.

“Being able to switch between male and female roles is useful. However, when you’re only ever given side characters and  _ corps  _ roles to play…”

He sighed, crossing his arms.

“I haven’t even had any roles for pointe in over a year. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed.”

Pakunoda gave a knowing smile, “It’s very hard to advance when you have people who take up all of the limelight like Chrollo and I. That’s how ballet works. The company gives the money roles to the ones who bring in more ticket sales until they aren’t popular anymore or just can’t dance.”

Kurapika nodded, looking out the window. 

“That’s actually something I was coming to talk to you about. I asked Pairo where to find you.”

Kurapika turned, his brow arched in question.

“You need to talk to me about something?”

The woman nodded, giving a deep sigh and letting her shoulders sag.

“I’ve been talking with the management team and the board of directors about taking you on as my understudy and possible replacement as principal dancer.”

Kurapika’s jaw went slack and he felt like he’d been doused with cold water.

“I-I’m sorry, I must have misheard you.”

Pakunoda chuckled and shook her head, “I promise you didn’t. As much as it pains me, I know my time dancing is coming to an end. I’ve been in this industry for nearly twenty years. I’ve been fortunate enough to have a very long and successful career. But everything must come to an end some day. My legs will only carry me for so much longer, and honestly…”

She had a wistful, far away look in her eyes.

“... I think I’m ready to pursue something more important.”

Kurapika nodded, though his confused expression still remained.

“But… Why me, Pakunoda? I don’t have nearly the credentials that many of the other female dancers have. And the company’s never appointed a male principal before.”

She smiled fondly, “No one in this company is as dedicated as you are. Don’t ever think that we don’t notice when you stay late, come early, and constantly try to improve upon yourself. Some of us joke about turning one of the prop closets into a bedroom for you.”

_ Not sure if I should be flattered, or... _

“So what do you say, Kurapika? Will you give it a shot for me?”

Kurapika was silent a few moments, weighing the opportunity in his head.

_ It’s not exactly what I was going for… but better perhaps. _

“It would be remiss of me to turn down such a thoughtful offer. I’d be happy to try. Thank you Pakunoda.”

He watched her face lift into a relieved smile.

“That’s wonderful, I’m so glad. Obviously, the position of principal dancer is something that the board votes on, but I have no doubt you have what it takes to win them over. From now on, in addition to your appointed parts in productions, you’ll be learning mine as well. On Sunday afternoons I’ll give you some private tutoring for pointe.”

Kurapika took a deep breath and nodded, “That’s no trouble, I’m usually here on Sunday afternoons anyway.”

The woman put her hands on his shoulders and squeezed, “Fantastic. I’ll go tell Bisky you said yes,” she let go and stepped back towards the door, “And Kurapika?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you. I feel a lot better knowing that you’ve got my back if something happens to me.”

With that, the woman swept out of the room, leaving Kurapika to mull over the cryptic nature of her last words.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some things I should probably mention:
> 
> -I have no formal ballet training, or experience working for any dance company. All of the information here about the way that industry works is based on hours of research and twisted to fit my own narrative. I'm not going for complete accuracy.
> 
> -I choose to describe Kurapika with scarlet eyes because I feel like it suits his character more.
> 
> -If you'd like to make fan art for this fic, that would absolutely make my day. Either tag me in it on twitter @renegayde007 or email it directly to cosmicrecyclingbin@gmail.com
> 
> -I love Pakunoda more than life itself and my deepest desire is for her to just absolutely beat the shit out of Chrollo thnx bye


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dam of sexual repression breaks, and Kurapika is swept away.
> 
> He drowns in it.

The next couple of weeks saw Kurapika becoming busier than he'd ever been in his life.

While his friends were happy for the opportunity he'd been given, they couldn't help but notice his changes in attitude and his lack of energy.

Kurapika felt that if he slowed down for even a moment, he'd let Pakunoda and the company down.

He spent hours upon hours practicing at the studio, and when he went home and to bed, no real rest came for him. 

At night, wrapped up in blankets and all alone, his thoughts were filled with broad shoulders and warm eyes. His stomach would twist into knots and it would take hours and several cold showers to fall asleep.

The sticky note on his dresser haunted him. He adamantly ignored it.

  
  
  


"You know, you've become kind of a bitch lately," Pairo said from his place on the studio floor. He was laying on his stomach with his chin propped up on one hand, his phone in the other. Pakunoda had just left, Pairo having sat through their private Sunday session. 

Kurapika stopped what he was doing and put his hands on his hips, offense present in every inch of his face.

"What do you mean by that exactly?!" He snapped. 

Pairo rolled his eyes and sighed, " _That,_ I'm talking about _that_. The stress and exhaustion have made you so snippy with everyone. You even bit your mom's head off when you were on the phone with her earlier, when all she did was ask what you had for lunch."

The blonde pursed his lips, guilt washing over his features. His fists balled up at his sides.

"I'm sorry, Pairo. I don't know what's gotten into me."

Even apologizing, he still felt the thrum of irritation under his skin. The dull ache that was ever-present between his eyes these days intensified.

His friend gave a long-suffering sigh, sitting up, "You need a break, even a small one. I know you haven't been sleeping,"

Kurapika scrubbed his hands over his face, the exhaustion catching up with him even faster as it was mentioned. 

"It's not just the added responsibility you've been given here, is it? You want to see that doctor again, don't you?"

_Am I truly that obvious?_

"Don't be ridiculous."

Pairo arched his brow and crossed his arms, "You know I can _hear_ you showering for 3 hours at a time, right?"

He scoffed, his cheeks turning red.

"Even if I did want to see him again -which I do not- I didn't have time before and I certainly don't now."

"I didn't say you had to date him. The whole fuck buddies thing is still an option."

Kurapika scowled, "That is not something that I'd be interested in."

Pairo sighed, standing and brushing off his pants.

"Suit yourself, stay cranky then. I'm going home."

The blonde frowned, watching him go. He grit his teeth and stomped over to where his phone was connected to a Bluetooth speaker, by the window. The room was soon filled with the sound of Tchaikovsky's Black Swan solo.

Kurapika started from classical first position, his arms raised. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply as he lifted his leg backwards into an arabesque. 

He did a plie and used his leg momentum to spin into a pirouette, and that's when he began to get distracted.

From attitude he lowered onto a straight leg, and suddenly he could only think of the way L.P.'s hands had felt on his thighs.

He stepped high from second position twice into a releve and slightly lost his balance on his toes as his brain fed him the image of the doctor's head between his legs as he marked everywhere his mouth could reach.

He stumbled into fifth position, lifting his arms inelegantly, looking more like a wounded bat than a swan. It felt like his blood was boiling in his veins. 

_Goddammit, Kurapika, get it together._

He turned into a soutenu, or attempted to, but his legs tangled themselves as the image of the doctor’s sweaty, wild face refused to leave his brain. He tripped over his own feet and tumbled to the floor.

He landed flat on his back and stared up at the ceiling, cursing in frustration. 

He stayed there on the floor for what seemed like hours, but only managed to be a few minutes. Slowly, he picked himself up and dusted himself off. 

He turned off the music that had been playing on repeat and headed straight to the showers.

Kurapika stared angrily at the water as it swirled and slipped down the drain.

_What is happening to me? Why am I so on edge?_

Pairo’s suggestion crossed his mind and he proceeded to argue with himself over it from the point he left the shower to when he got back to the apartment.

As soon as he slammed the front door, he marched down the hall, passed a very concerned Pairo, and locked himself in his room.

He paced the room, unbearably hot and uncomfortable in his own skin. He stopped in front of his dresser, his shoulders stiff and his face pinched. He barely recognized himself in the mirror. 

He picked up the sticky note, rereading the message and pausing at the phone number.

_Would sending him a message really do anything to help whatever is wrong with me?_

_It's been nearly three weeks, would he even answer after this long?_

Kurapika closed his eyes, and it felt like the doctor’s deep voice was whispering directly in his ear again.

**_"Cum for me, Sunshine."_ **

Kurapika’s eyes snapped open as a jolt went straight to his groin and he squeezed the note in his fist. He marched over to his bed and sat on the edge, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

_I can't believe I'm doing this. He probably won't even be home._

His hands shook as he typed the phone number into his phone and opened the messaging app.

**To: ?**

**Hello, is this L.P.?**

  
  


He hit send and began bouncing his foot out of nerves. He didn’t really expect an answer at all, and was twice as surprised when one came less than five minutes later.

  
  


**From: ?**

**Yes it is, may I ask who this is? ;)**

  
  


_Asshole, he knows exactly who he’s talking to._

Kurapika’s cheeks warmed as he typed out a reply.

  
  


**To: ?**

**It’s Sunshine.**

  
  


A shiver ran up his spine as the doctor’s reply came through just a few moments later.

  
  


**From: ?**

**Well hello ;)**

**I didn’t really expect to hear from you.**

**It’s a pleasant surprise.**

**What can I do for you?**

  
  


The blonde glared at the emoji and rolled his eyes. He hesitated for a few moments before swallowing his pride and answering the message.

  
  


**To: ?**

**Are you working at the moment?**

  
  


**From: ?**

**I actually just got home a little while ago. I’m on call, but otherwise I go back in a few hours. Why do you ask? :p**

  
  


Kurapika bit his lip.

  
  


**To: ?**

**Can I see you?**

  
  


Kurapika fell backwards onto the mattress and held his phone pressed against his racing heart. He didn’t know if he’d be more relieved if the doctor said yes or no.

It took a few more minutes than he was expecting to get an answer, and he was beginning to think the man had fallen asleep until the notification finally came through.

  
  


**From: ?**

**Absolutely.**

  
  


A rush of breath left Kurapika’s lungs and he felt lightheaded all of a sudden. He hastily stood up from his position as he typed out a final reply.

  
  


**To: ?**

**Be there in 15.**

  
  


He shoved his phone in his pocket and swiftly combed his hair, brushed his teeth, and put on cologne. He made sure he looked decent before practically slamming into Pairo in the living room.

“Whoa, whoa where’s the fire? What’s going on?” Pairo steadied him with his hands on his shoulders.

Kurapika’s face was flushed and he tripped over his words before closing his eyes and scrubbing his hands over his face. His friend tilted his head in confusion.

Finally managing to gather his thoughts, Kurapika licked his lips and took a deep breath.

“I’m going out. I don’t know if I’ll be back tonight.”

Pairo blinked, pushing some of his chestnut hair from his eyes, “What do you mean you’re- OH! _OH._ Well shit, Pika, good for you,” he smirked, arching a brow, “Have a good time, don’t do anything Hisoka wouldn’t do.”

Kurapika spluttered and shook his head, turning to go through the door as Pairo called out a final “ _Go get your man_!”

  
  
***

Kurapika’s body was on edge the whole taxi ride, and it wasn’t until he was in the elevator riding up to the doctor’s floor that he regained some sense of self.

He took a deep breath before knocking on the door.

A few moments later the door opened and the doctor himself leaned against the frame, wearing nothing more than a pair of grey sweatpants, his glasses, and a smile.

Kurapika felt his carefully reclaimed composure shatter and the doctor had barely said a “Hello” before the blonde was pushing him into the apartment and slamming the door behind him.

L.P. blinked in surprise but the dancer didn't give him the time to question him as he put his hands on the man’s shoulders and used the leverage to hop up and wrap his legs around his waist. He smashed their lips together in a bruising kiss, every hair on his body standing on end.

Whatever shock the doctor had felt didn’t last long as he quickly got the memo. He pulled away long enough to take off his glasses which Kurapika was immensely thankful for, as they’d been digging into his cheek horribly.

As soon as they were off, however, the blonde quickly reattached himself to the doctor’s mouth. The kiss was full of desperation, as was the way in which he was clinging to the doctor’s neck. L.P. held onto him by his thighs and then they were moving. 

Kurapika felt himself be sat down at the foot of the doctor’s bed and he quickly rid himself of his own shirt, shoes, and pants. He pushed the doctor onto his back on the bed and crawled on top of his body, straddling his hips and staring down at him with a lust-ridden face.

The doctor cursed, his face already flushed with arousal. Kurapika’s hands slid up his abdomen, nails scraping against his taut muscles. He licked his lips, taking great pleasure in the way the man shivered underneath him.

Kurapika tucked a lock of hair behind his ear before leaning down to run his tongue and teeth over an already hardened nipple. The man jolted at the sensation and Kurapika felt a rush of power flow through him.

The doctor’s large hands settled on the dancer’s hips and squeezed. Kurapika rolled his hips slowly, already painfully hard and straining the waistband of his underwear. He was pleased to find that his companion was faring the same way.

His mouth was suddenly dry as a certain thought crossed his mind. He grabbed the hands that were on his hips and pushed one straight down to the mattress, the other he brought to his mouth. He took the man’s thumb and coaxed it between his lips, staring straight into wide, brown eyes as he slid his tongue against the pad of his thumb.

He watched the man’s adam’s apple bob in his throat as he gently bit down, before closing his mouth around it and sucking. 

The man groaned and his hips bucked against Kurapika’s own, his flushed face turning several shades deeper. Kurapika let go but kept eye-contact as he pressed open-mouthed kisses from the doctor’s sternum down to the waistband of his sweats. The lower he went, the more the doctor stiffened in anticipation.

He settled between his legs and pulled the sweatpants down far enough for the doctor’s erection to spring forth. He hesitated before grasping it at the base. He relished the gasp that came from the man’s lips.

  
  


Kurapika hadn't had anything close to a relationship or sexual partner since high school, nevertheless he wasn't about to let his rusty skills keep him from what he wanted.

He took the ever-present hair tie from his wrist and hastily pulled his hair back from his face, missing the way the man bit his lip at that action. 

He licked a stripe up the man’s shaft before taking the head into his mouth. The doctor reached down and threaded his fingers in the top of his hair. He took a raspy breath, beginning to ramble.

" **_Fuck,_ **you look so good like this," he licked his suddenly dry lips, "So gorgeous, incredible.. Had a dream the other night just like this."

Kurapika's face flushed and he pulled away, narrowing his intense scarlet gaze at the man, "You talk too much."

He shut him up by quickly taking far too much of his cock into his mouth, until he was gagging around him and drooling uncontrollably. Embarrassment flooded him but the look on L.P.'s face was full of something intense that Kurapika couldn't quite put a name on.

He cleared his throat and wiped his chin before trying again, going much slower and relaxing his jaw. The moans spilling from the man’s mouth sent satisfaction straight to his core and he soon regained his confidence. 

He tongued the sensitive vein under the head as his hand stroked what he couldn’t fit in his mouth. He felt the hand in his hair tug and heard the man let out a strangled groan. 

He pressed his tongue against the slit at the top and tasted the precum steadily dribbling out. He hummed in appreciation and the man’s hips bucked up into his mouth. He didn't choke, but he did take the hard flesh deeper into his throat, concentrating on breathing through his nose. 

The doctor threw his head back, cursing and praising him in the same breath. Kurapika rolled his hips against the mattress for some sort of relief, before getting impatient and pulling off of the man’s cock and sitting up. A trail of drool came from the corner of his mouth. He quickly kicked off his remaining article of clothing and straddled the man’s hips again.

Kurapika felt hands cup and knead his ass cheeks as he reached to grab the lube from the nightstand. The doctor tried to take it from him but he swatted the hand away and poured some into his own hand.

The doctor watched, unable to breathe as the blonde braced a hand on his stomach, reaching back with the other to open himself up with his own fingers.

Kurapika squeezed his eyes shut, biting his lips as he quickly stretched himself, with no regard for if he was really ready for more or not. He whimpered as he felt the doctors hand wrap around his cock and stroke him.

Kurapika decided he couldn't wait any longer and poured more lube directly onto the doctor’s twitching cock, making him hiss. He lined himself up and dropped down onto his cock with little to no warning. 

The pain that shot through him from his own recklessness only added to the satisfaction he felt from being so _full_. He braced his hands on the doctor’s abs, panting like he'd just run a marathon. 

When he could see through the stars in his eyes, he found the doctor staring at him like Kurapika was some sort of deity, and he was an awestruck devotee. The look in his eyes made Kurapika's stomach flip.

They were both breathing raggedly, sweating and flushed. The man’s hands traced every slick inch of his pale skin before settling on his hips.

Kurapika swallowed thickly and slowly raised himself off his knees before dropping back down with an exclamation of searing hot pleasure. The doctor groaned, cursing loudly. Kurapika slowly worked up to a steady pace, body thrumming with satisfaction. 

He bounced harshly, his erection bobbing against his stomach as he tossed his head back. His hair started slipping from the hair tie but he couldn't be bothered to care.

The doctor suddenly pulled him down for an almost painful kiss, and the change in angle sent sparks across Kurapika’s body. His hips rolled and his cries of pleasure were muffled against the man's mouth.

Kurapika wrapped his arms around the doctor’s neck, clinging to him as the man fucked up into him with purpose. He squeezed his eyes shut, his legs turning to jelly. 

The doctors hands kept his hips moving and soon Kurapika was seeing stars behind his eyes. All of his former bravado had washed away and was replaced with a desperation so fierce it felt as if he'd die if he didn't cum soon. The doctor wrapped a hand around his throbbing cock and stroked.

" **_Please… please, I can't-"_ **

Kurapika could barely recognize his own voice from how wrecked it sounded.

The doctor nipped at his earlobe, before speaking in a raspy voice that threatened to undo Kurapika’s very existence. 

" _Come on baby,"_ his wrist twisted as he stroked the cock in his hand _, "I've got you."_

Kurapika _screamed_ as his orgasm suddenly shot through him. He arched his back and cried out a string of "YES! _YES!!_ **_YES!!!_ **" until his throat was raw. The doctor gasped, his own climax being milked out of him by the dancer’s spasming body. 

They clung to eachother as the shock waves rolled through them.

***

It took several minutes before Kurapika could remember his own name. He laid motionless against the doctor’s chest. He vaguely registered that his headache was gone.

He felt lighter, the tension was slowly leaving his body. He felt the doctor’s hand slide up his back and pull his hair free from its sloppy updo. His fingers carded through the strands and Kurapika’s chest filled with something much more dangerous than simple unbridled lust. 

_This… this can't go any further than physical._

He opened his eyes and found the doctor staring at him with a pensive expression. He slowly pulled himself off of the doctor’s body, ignoring the feeling of cum seeping down his thighs in order to put a bit of distance between them on the bed.

They stared at each other in silence for a few moments before the brunette sighed and scratched at the back of his neck. 

"So, do you want to talk about this? About what ever _this_ is?"

_No. I don't want to talk about it at all._

Kurapika swallowed around the lump in his throat and sat up, looking down at his hands.

"I suppose I should start off by apologizing, I didn't intend to lead you on in any way. And I'm sorry if you're expecting a real relationship from this, but…"

He steeled himself, looking up into the man’s soft eyes.

"I'm a person whose hours are heavily spoken for, like yourself. I don't have the luxury of spending time on romance, truthfully I don't have time for _this_ either. But… perhaps…"

He flushed, clearing his throat.

"If you are not opposed, we could form a sort of… arrangement…. For convenience."

He watched several emotions cross the man’s face before he spoke.

"So, what? We sleep together when we need to work off steam and have the time?"

"Precisely. No commitment, no expectations."

He seemed to mull it over for a moment, "I still don't get your name do I?"

"No. Sunshine works just fine," he pursed his lips.

The doctor nodded, "Alright. Its a deal," his hand cupped Kurapika’s jaw and he swiped a thumb over his swollen bottom lip.

Kurapika was debating on whether he should leave when the doctor spoke again.

"I have a couple of hours left before my next shift, want to join me for another round in the shower?"

Kurapika gulped, his spent cock twitching in interest. The smirk on the doctor’s face said that he already knew his answer.

If he kissed him then, it was only to wipe the arrogant look from his face.

That was what he told himself anyway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOO BOY THERE'S A LOT TO PUT IN THESE NOTES.
> 
> First of all, thank you all so much for your continued support. I never expected this story to get any attention at all, and the amount of popularity its gained in just a couple short weeks is insane!!!
> 
> Just a reminder that if you'd like to make art for this fic, tag me on Twitter @renegayde007 or email it straight to cosmicrecyclingbin@gmail.com. I'll be showing any art off at the beginning of chapters, with credit given of course. 
> 
> If you would, please take time in the comments to let me know how you'd feel about me posting a work that is basically a character sheet, where I talk about the characters, their roles, and back grounds.
> 
> Also, I've started a Playlist for this fic on Spotify. You can find it here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1G6EdffIBmOr8zZ0am2SKu?si=BAunN2x9QCerbePiUlUDLA
> 
> Finally, if you'd like a reference for the routine Kurapika was ~trying~ to do, it can be found here:  
> https://youtu.be/3SKLSOGtayE
> 
> Kurapika: don't fucking flirt with me while I'm having sex with you


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was all going so well, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be aware that there is a brief description of both an injury and a panic attack in this chapter. If that bothers you please skip that portion and read ahead.
> 
> The first two pieces of art are from @tinyhxh on Twitter and the third is from BiaCG on deviantart/BiaOAK here on ao3!!!
> 
> I've never cried so much in my life 😭💖👌 these are so beautiful!!!!!! Thank you both!!!!

[ ](https://ibb.co/LJmrqLB)   
[ ](https://ibb.co/FHZCLst)   
[ ](https://ibb.co/WcDLmR5)

☆♡☆

As the season began to change and the cool breezes of spring slipped away into warmer temperatures, Kurapika settled into his arrangement with the doctor.

They each knew their roles in each other’s lives, and stuck to them. Kurapika felt like it was going well. Sometimes they would see each other several times a week, sometimes they went weeks without seeing each other at all, depending on how their schedules lined up. It seemed Pairo had been right, though the blonde was loath to admit it, getting railed semi-regularly _did_ do him a world of good. Despite his growing list of responsibilities, Kurapika was in a much better mood, and more confident in himself than ever.

L.P. had respected Kurapika’s wishes and didn’t pry him for his name anymore. They never discussed their interests and they never discussed their days. The only things Kurapika let himself hold on to were the doctor’s mannerisms. The way he laughed from his belly, the way he snored when he passed out, the way his nose scrunched when he was concentrating- these were all things Kurapika let himself have. He kept them locked away in a secret corner of his heart and pretended he didn't think about them when the two were apart.

Sometimes, when he arrived at the doctor’s request, he could see that the man had been weeping. He never told him why, and Kurapika never asked, but he guessed that those were days where he’d lost a patient. Having sex didn’t seem like the appropriate way to comfort him, but their type of relationship left little room for comfort anyway.

If Kurapika let the doctor hold him just a little longer in the afterglow on those nights, neither one of them mentioned it.

  
  


With the summer quickly approaching, it was crunch time at the company. They had less than two months until the first show, and Kurapika was beginning to feel the pressure. It didn’t help that -as Pakunoda’s understudy- Kurapika often had to train with Chrollo, who would be his dance partner should he actually have to step in for the principal dancer.

Chrollo, while a fantastic dancer, was not good at _shutting up_ , and Kurapika often went home incredibly angry and annoyed. If the doctor was available on those evenings, he’d take out his frustration in the bedroom.

Besides the mosquito that was Chrollo, Kurapika was overall pretty satisfied with how his life was going.

He should have known that things had been going far too well for far too long.

  
  
  


“I’m sorry you want me to _what?”_ Kurapika’s look of exasperation was met with Bisky’s unbothered smile.

“You heard me, use all that talent you have up in that brain and choreograph yourself a solo for the summer showcase. The board wants to see what you can do when you’re left to your own devices, and frankly so do I.”

Kurapika felt his shoulders stiffen, “But the showcase is in just a few weeks, do you really think I-”

“Have the time? Oh I’m sure you can fit it in somewhere, you always do!” she grinned, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet, “I expect the first draft by the end of the week.”

_That’s only three days from now!_

She left him there, in the hall, as if she hadn’t seen him turn pale with anxiety. He took a deep breath and relaxed his shoulders, shaking out his trembling hands.

_I can do this, I can definitely do this._

  
  
  


“Pairo I can’t do this,” Kurapika paced their living room floor while his friend ate fat-free frozen yogurt straight from the carton from his place on the couch.

“Do you want some of this? Cause I think you need to chill out,” Pairo wiggled the spoon in his direction.

Kurapika ignored him, pulling at his hair as he continued to make a rut in the floor.

Pairo sighed and sat the carton aside, “Pika, you’re going to do just fine. I know there’s a lot on your plate right now, but I really believe you can get it all done.”

The blonde paused, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I don’t know what to do. I can’t even begin to think of moves to put together for a solo, I haven’t choreographed since school.”

Pairo laid on his side with his head on the arm rest, raising one leg up in the air just for the sake of doing something.

“I could always help you out, could dance out the moves while you write them, that way you could do live edits.”

“You’d really be up for that?” Kurapika sat on the couch and scowled when his friend abruptly shoved his feet into his lap.

“Of course, what are besties for? Don’t sweat it. In the meantime, I think you should blow off some steam. You should go see your doctor tonight."

_If I could, I would._

“He’s working a 48-hour shift. He won’t be home until tomorrow night.”

“ _Lame,”_ Pairo sighed, “Oh well, frozen yogurt and a _Golden Girls_ marathon, then?”

“Deal.”

  
  
  


Kurapika ran through the next day like he was in a race. Between rehearsals, classes, costume fittings, and arguments with Chrollo, Kurapika would shovel salad down his throat with one hand and write down ideas for his solo with the other.

The dancer had already sent a message to the doctor, asking to meet up that night after the doctor got home. He needed the stress relief badly.

In the middle of the afternoon, it happened. 

Kurapika was in class, and everything was going fine until it wasn't. He had his fellow dancers to each side of him and Bisky was having another one of the more experienced dancers, Nobunaga, lead them in some advanced footwork.

Being a dancer, Kurapika was no stranger to injuries. His strength and stamina had been built upon twisted ankles and pulled muscles. That said, it had been several years since he'd had a noteworthy accident. 

So when his ankle rolled over and he heard a _pop,_ it was as unexpected as it was painful. He fell to the floor with a yelp, his vision temporarily blacking out from the shock. His friends gathered around him, and he cursed as he felt hot tears roll down his cheeks. The pain in his ankle was nothing in comparison to his wounded pride.

"That was quite a fall, are you alright?" Hisoka's brows bunched up in concern.

Pairo, who was kneeling at his other side, used his shirt sleeve to wipe Kurapika’s face, "I haven't seen you fall like that in years."

Kurapika gritted his teeth and tried to wiggle his toes and flex his foot but couldn't.

"I can't… I can't move it at all," his voice quaked. 

Shalnark and Bisky examined his ankle from their places by his feet. 

"This really doesn't look good, Kurapika. I'm going to call an ambulance. Shalnark, get his shoe off before he starts swelling," She stood and ran out of the studio, yelling that class was dismissed for the time being. The crowd that had gathered around the group dispersed.

Kurapika’s breathing turned into pants as Shalnark carefully untied his shoe and lifted his leg to slip it off.

_What if I can't dance anymore?_

His panting quickly turned into hyperventilation and he felt Pairo put a comforting hand on his back. His vision swam and his chest felt like it was full of bricks. 

His friends were speaking but he couldn't hear them over the sound of his own racing heart in his head. He felt like he was being dragged underwater. 

_If I can't dance, what good am I?_

The lack of oxygen finally got to him and he passed out, slumping back into Pairo and Hisoka's hands.

  
  


He came to in a hospital bed. Pairo was in a chair next to him, nose buried in his phone. He slowly sat up and found that his injured ankle had been propped up on a pillow, the fabric of his leggings rolled up to his knee.

He made the mistake of trying to move his foot and hissed in pain. Pairo’s attention snapped to him.

"Pika, you're awake… thank goodness," he slumped back in his chair, a relieved expression on his face.

"How long was I out?" 

"Long enough to get a ride here and then get some xrays and an MRI done."

The blonde pinched the bridge of his nose, " _Shit."_

"The nurse said the doctor should come in soon to tell us the results."

"What am I going to do if its broken, Pairo? I don't have time for a broken ankle."

"There's no point in worrying about it until you know for sure. By the way I let your mom know what happened. She told me to tell you that she'd catch the train into town if you need her."

Before Kurapika could reply there was a knock on the door. It opened and a person in a white coat walked in, looking down at a clipboard.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Kurta. I'm Dr. Paladiknight and-"

Kurapika couldn't help the gasp that fell from his lips as the doctor’s clipboard clattered to the ground.

Not just any doctor. _The_ doctor.

_Of all the doctor’s in this town, it had to be_ **_him?_ **

The doctor was frozen, his jaw slack and his eyes wide. Kurapika felt the blood draining from his face.

Pairo watched them stare at eachother with a great deal of confusion before his own eyes widened in realization. He was the first to break the silence.

"Oh my God, is this the doctor you've been _sleeping with_?"

The doctor’s neck and ears turned a deep russet and Kurapika covered his face with his hands. 

_This is a nightmare._

Pairo quickly begun texting, "Holy shit, this is going straight into the groupchat."

Kurapika finally found his voice,"Pairo."

"Yes?"

"Can you wait outside for me?" it wasn't a question.

His friend looked between them and sighed, "Alright, fine. I have to miss all the fun."

Pairo stood and slipped by the doctor, closing the door behind him.

  
  


It took a few more minutes for the initial shock to wear off. The doctor finally picked up his clipboard. He scratched at the back of his neck and cleared his throat before speaking.

"When you asked to see me later, I'm assuming that this isn't what you meant," he gave a sheepish laugh.

Kurapika frowned, crossing his arms over his chest, "Not in the least."

The doctor looked at the chart in his hands and hesitated before opening his mouth again.

"You're a dancer, huh?"

The blonde sighed and nodded, lifting his good foot, which was still clad in his well-worn pointe shoe.

"That certainly… explains some things," he hid a cough behind his fist, looking away as he flushed.

Kurapika’s own cheeks heated, "Perhaps it would be best if you gave me the results of the xrays, Dr. Pala-"

"Leorio," the doctor interjected, "You might as well know my whole name, since we're here… Kurapika. "

Kurapika bit his lip, anxiety stirring around his stomach again. He forced himself to ignore the way his name sounded on the doctor’s lips, how it made his heart beat speed up.

The doctor paused before pulling a stool up to his side. He flipped through the chart and began to speak again, but he couldn't seem to look Kurapika in the eye.

"The good news is that nothing is broken. The bad news, however, is that you have the worst possible sprain and some slight tearing."

Kurapika’s blood ran cold and his hands gripped at his sleeves.

"Will I… can I still dance?"

The doctor looked up, pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose.

"As long as you give yourself time to heal and get proper physical therapy, you should make a full recovery. "

Kurapuka swallowed thickly, "How long?"

"At least three weeks."

_Three weeks?!_

He didn't realize his hands were shaking until the doctor tried to take one into his own. He quickly snatched it away, avoiding his - _Leorio's_ \- gaze.

He steeled himself, carefully stacking the bricks higher between them.

"Thank you, doctor. That will be enough. Send my friend back in here when you go."

Leorio's pain-stricken expression shouldn't have hurt him as much as it did. 

The man sat in silence for a moment before standing up from the stool. When he got to the door he paused and looked back at the blonde.

"I'll see you later, then."

As soon as he was gone, Kurapika laid back down on the bed and pressed his palms against his eyes. His head ached, his ankle was _throbbing_ , and he felt sick to his stomach.

He heard the door open and close again and then Pairo’s voice came from his side.

"Uh… So do you want to ta-"

" **No.** "

"Alright, fair enough."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LADS WE HIT 1K HITS AND 100 KUDOS I AM SCRWMAINGV!!!! You all are so sweet, thank you so much for the support.!!!!
> 
> Submit fanart to my Twitter @renegayde007 or email it to cosmicrecyclingbin@gmail.com
> 
> Pirouette Vibe Tracks: https://open.spotify.com/track/5Nm9ERjJZ5oyfXZTECKmRt?si=OBnDkynWRKai0D7G5Vvrsw
> 
> My art tiktok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJHwykNv/
> 
> Support me on ko-fi (pls don't feel obligated): https://ko-fi.com/cosmicrecyclingbin


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurapika is made aware of his own shortcomings.

**From: LP**

**Thursday: 7:29 PM**

**Are we still on for tonight?**

**Thursday: 10:57 PM**

**Ok gonna take that as a no.**

  
  


**Friday: 3:42 PM**

**Hey Sunshine! How’s that ankle doing?**

**Friday: 11:58 PM**

**Just got home from work. Hope those pain meds are helping.**

  
  


**Saturday: 5:04 AM**

**You ok?**

**Saturday: 5:37 AM**

**Kurapika.**

**I know you’re awake.**

**:(**

  
  


**Sunday: 1:03 AM**

**We could pretend it didn’t happen.**

  
  


_I wish he’d just give up._

Kurapika felt nauseous as he read over the latest text he’d received from Leorio. He sat in the living room on the couch with his foot propped up, his lower calf fully encased in a bulky black boot. 

The television was on but it was muted, playing some old 90’s sitcom he couldn’t remember the name of. Pairo sat on the floor next to the couch, reading off tweets to him about the latest juicy socio-political scandal to hit York New and occasionally handing him a handful of gummy worms.

Though Kurapika wasn’t really listening, he’d been bobbing his head and giving little grunts to indicate that he had been, so when he stopped responding altogether, Pairo turned to look up at him. He frowned, his brows furrowing when he saw that his friend was staring at his phone screen for the millionth time that day without actually _doing anything_ on it.

“Pika…” he waited for acknowledgement to continue.

“Hm?”

“Don’t you think it’s time to text him back? You know, so he doesn’t think you fucking _died?_ ”

Kurapika sighed and dropped his phone into his lap.

“No. I can’t,” he covered his face with his hands.

Pairo leveled him with an unimpressed gaze, “Can’t or won’t? I don’t recall you spraining your fingers too.”

Kurapika grit his teeth, “Pairo, I’m serious.”

“So am I. Why should things change between you just because you know each other's names now? I mean sure, you might just be fuck buddies but there’s at least some level of mutual respect and affection, right?”

“Respect? Yes. Affection? Absolutely not.”

Pairo rolled his eyes and sighed, “You are so stubborn. And selfish,” he stood up from the floor, dusting himself off before planting his hands on his hips, “Have you ever even _considered_ how he feels?”

Kurapika bristled, his eyes flashing dangerously, “What is that supposed to mean?”

Pairo shook his head, “This whole arrangement has been about what _you_ want. _You_ came up with the rules, he just followed them. Did you ever even think that he might have his own set of feelings and desires that he puts on the backburner just to please _you_?”

Kurapika spluttered, his cheeks turned red. He wished for all the world that he could just storm out of the room.

_Stupid, useless ankle._

“Le- The _doctor,”_ he corrected himself, “agreed to this of his own free will. I assume he was after the same thing I was.”

“Well you know what they say about assuming…” Pairo was hit square in the face with a barrage of gummy worms, “Hey! Stop! I’m kidding!”

Kurapika put the last gummy worm in his mouth and chewed aggressively.

“All I’m saying is, if he didn’t care about you, he wouldn’t text. A sexy guy like him could have anyone he wanted, you know,” he crossed his arms over his chest and smirked, waggling his brows, “If you keep putting him on read I might snatch him up myself.”

Kurapika felt like a boulder had set itself on his gut. He glared at his friend, eyebrow twitching.

“Whoa, Whoa, turn off the murder eyes, I’m just joking!” he ran a hand through his hair, “All I’m trying to say is that if he just wanted a quick fuck he could do that with a different random person whenever he felt like it,”

“But he keeps coming back to _you_.”

A shiver ran up Kurapika’s spine and he bit his lip.

_And I keep going back to him._

  
  


Pairo watched him wage a war within his own mind for a moment before speaking again, “You know, you are allowed to be _friends_ at least. Hence, _friends with benefits?”_

Kurapika sighed, grabbing one of the decorative pillows from behind him to squeeze to his chest.

“But… I don’t hav-”

“Kurapika Kurta I swear to God if the next thing out of your mouth is ‘ _I don’t have time’_ I will cut the soles out of every pair of dancing shoes you own and replace them with sandpaper.”

Kurapika’s mouth snapped shut.

Pairo leaned against the arm of the couch and looked down at him. He picked up one of Kurapika’s crutches and gestured with it.

“You literally have never had more time than you do right now. **_Text him back_ **.”

  
  


Kurapika didn’t text him back until the next day, and even then, it took far too long to come up with something to say. Before he even attempted to type something out, he made the first real step by changing his contact name. He tried not to think about it too hard.

  
  


**To: Leorio**

**I apologize for not texting you back.**

**I had to work through some things.**

**If you’re not opposed, perhaps we should talk about it?**

**Whenever you have time of course.**

  
  


Kurapika sighed, burying himself further in his blankets. He’d stayed in bed all day, wallowing in self-pity. Pairo had given him a pep talk that morning before he left but it wore off as soon as he went out the door.

_If he doesn’t answer, it’ll be my own fault._

Luckily, or unluckily, Kurapika didn’t have to ponder long. His phone vibrated and the dancer hesitated before biting the bullet and opening the message.

  
  


**From: Leorio**

**I have time right now.**

  
  


_I didn’t expect it to happen this soon…_

  
  


**To Leorio:**

**It’s kind of hard for me to leave the apartment at the moment.**

  
  


He bit his lip and fiddling with the fabric of his blanket with his free hand.

  
  


**To Leorio:**

**Do you mind coming to me?**

  
  


**From: Leorio**

**I can be there in an hour. Send me your address.**

**I haven’t eaten yet, are you hungry?**

  
  


Kurapika’s stomach growled. He hadn’t had the energy or will power to get himself something to eat all day.

  
  


**To: Leorio**

**Starving.**

  
  


He sent Leorio the address of the apartment and sat his phone aside, laying his head back against his pillows.

_This is probably fine._

  
  


Kurapika had eventually hobbled out of bed and made himself presentable. He watched television while he waited, drumming his finger tips on the arm of the couch.

When there was a knock at the door, he froze for a moment. He slowly stood with his crutches and carefully opened the door. Leorio was holding several bags of Styrofoam containers and whatever was in them smelled _incredible._ He was obviously exhausted, but his eyes were as warm as ever and the smile he gave Kurapika did horribly nice things to his gut.

"Hey, Sunshine."

"Hello," he stood back, letting the doctor in before letting the door swing shut, "Make yourself at home."

Kurapika sat back down on the couch and Leorio hesitated before sitting next to him, and placing the bags of food at his feet.

"I hope you like Greek. I wasn't exactly sure what to get you so I got a bunch of different stuff," he dragged out a couple of containers and passed them to Kurapika along with a set of plastic utensils. 

"Oh, thank you. I do like Greek, I usually don't feel as guilty after eating it."

"Ah, strict dancer diet?" He arched a brow.

Kurapika nodded, opening up the container, "Super strict."

"So what's with the empty package of gummy worms on the end table, then?" He smirked. 

The dancer’s cheeks heated and he huffed, "Everything in moderation, _doctor._ "

Leorio gave a hearty laugh and Kurapika quickly diverted his attention to his meal.

They ate in comfortable silence until eventually the doctor leaned back in his seat, a pensive expression on his face.

"So, you wanted to talk about why you ghosted me?"

"I did not _ghost you,"_ he scoffed, setting his food container on the end table and crossing his arms.

Leorio scowled, "You ignored my texts for several days. I didn't hear a peep from you," his tone softened, "I was worried."

Kurapika couldn't meet his gaze, couldn't bring himself to see the look on the man’s face. He looked down at his lap, fidgeting with his hands.

_How do I explain without sounding like an awful person?_

He took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, I really did not intend to upset you. Its just that… I suppose I was sort of… afraid… that if we knew too much about each other, it would backfire."

He snuck a glance at the man from the corner of his eye. Leorio was watching him with a patient expression, seeming to take in everything he said, waiting for him to continue.

He swallowed around the lump in his throat.

_Why am I so nervous? Is it really so hard for me to talk about my feelings?_

"I proposed this no-strings-attached relationship because I feel like I don't have time for anything else. And I was - _am-_ convinced that getting attached to each other would be… detrimental."

When he didn't continue, the doctor hummed and ran a hand through his hair.

"So you think you don't have enough time to devote to a relationship? An emotional one," Kurapika nods and he continues, "But you _do_ have time to fool around?"

The dancer tilted his head, not sure what he was getting at.

The doctor sighed, "You know, there's nothing saying that romantic relationships have to be a certain way. You and I may be incredibly busy people, but we still find time to see each other to _have sex_. What's stopping us from getting to know each other?"

Kurapika considered his words. He supposed he saw his point, if they could sleep together they could do other things too.

"You're not concerned that pursuing a relationship with me would harm your performance at work?"

Leorio blinked in obvious confusion, "No, of course not. Is that what you think?"

Kurapika nodded and there was a beat of silence before the doctor leaned in and gently cupped the side of his face, coaxing him to meet his gaze.

"If you are set on that way of thinking, fine. Nothing has to change if you don't want it to. I'll still hang around, regardless."

Kurapika's face flushed and he searched the doctor’s face for any sign of teasing. There was none.

"I suppose… I could rethink our arrangement."

Leorio smiled, his thumb tracing the blonde’s cheek bone, "You're going to be out of work for a little while. When you go back you can decide if you're up for continuing with a real relationship. For now, let's just get to know each other, does that sound alright?"

Kurapika’s mouth ran dry and he simply nodded.

_If only for a few weeks, it should be fine. After that things can just go back to the way they were…_

Leorio's grin threatened to split his face in half, "Great! I only know a handful of things about you so far but I already find you fascinating."

"You- You're a horrible flirt," he closed his eyes and pursed his lips, but the way he leaned into the hand on his cheek told Leorio that he wasn't really as annoyed as he appeared. 

"You'll get used to it," he smirked, " _Sunshine."_

Kurapika opened his eyes, frowning, and dragged the man in closer by his tie.

"Will you just kiss me already?"

If Leorio's laugh did things to his stomach, this time he let himself enjoy it.

  
  
  


When Pairo came home that evening he was very surprised to find his friend and the doctor curled up asleep on the couch together. Kurapika was sat sideways on Leorio's lap, against his chest. His foot was propped up on a pillow and his head was tucked underneath the doctor's chin.

Pairo carefully shut the door behind himself, not wanting to disturb them. He smiled, and the smile quickly turned mischievous. He pulled his phone from his pocket, snapped a few pictures, and sent them straight to the group chat.

Would Kurapika be angry when he saw? Oh yes, positively _murderous_. But what was he going to do, chase him? He snickered to himself before heading off to bed, quite satisfied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha wow it wouldn't be a leopika fic without Kurapika ghosting Leorio would it?
> 
> Submit fanart to my Twitter @renegayde007 or email it to cosmicrecyclingbin@gmail.com
> 
> Pirouette Vibe Tracks: https://open.spotify.com/track/5Nm9ERjJZ5oyfXZTECKmRt?si=OBnDkynWRKai0D7G5Vvrsw
> 
> My art tiktok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJHwykNv/
> 
> Support me on ko-fi (pls don't feel obligated): https://ko-fi.com/cosmicrecyclingbin


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The doctor and the dancer have far more in common than either would think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all ain't ready for this one. 😬
> 
> EDIT: fanart by the incredible @tinybrownegg on Instagram!

[ ](https://ibb.co/NyGfYW3)

Over the course of his first week of recovery, Kurapika concentrated on drafting and revising his solo. Each night he had Pairo move all of their furniture out of the living room so that he could watch the brunette perform the movements. He was adamant about perfecting it so that all he would have to do was memorize and perform it when he recovered. He desperately hoped his ankle would be better in time for the show case.

Leorio came over whenever he could, often bringing food with him. They’d sit close on the couch while they ate and talked.

The conversations had remained light for the most part, neither of them delving further than the surface for the time being.

By the end of the week Kurapika knew that he and Leorio had the same favorite color, blue. He knew that Leorio was bisexual, and that he hadn’t had a romantic partner in a while- though not as long as Kurapika. He knew that Leorio’s favorite food was a hearty homemade soup and that his alcoholic beverage of choice was a mint julep. Kurapika might have teased him a bit for that last one.

Kurapika hadn’t realized how touch starved he really was until he and Leorio started hanging out without the intent of sleeping together. The doctor, as it turned out, was incredibly physically affectionate in any context. The dancer found himself craving the feeling of the man’s arm wrapped around his shoulders as they watched a movie, or the gentle massage of his fingertips at the base of Kurapika’s neck when he just _had_ to have something to do with his hands while he talked.

Though Pairo wasn’t often there at the same time Leorio was, they _had_ been properly introduced and they got on like a house on fire, especially when it came to teasing Kurapika. He told them they were insufferable and could keep each other, but really he was relieved that they got along so well. 

His other friends had been bugging him to meet the doctor themselves since Pairo had sent that photo to the group chat. Kurapika told Pairo that he wouldn’t forget his transgression, and would seek out his revenge when there was no longer a lead brick attached to his foot.

Pairo knew his days were numbered.

  
  
  


“So they let you take the boot off already? That’s great!” came the cheerful voice of the doctor from Kurapika’s phone. Whenever Leorio had a lunch break at work he would facetime Kurapika from the noisy hospital cafeteria, if the hour was reasonable. This was especially common on days like this, when it had been a couple of days since Leorio was able to pop by.

“Yes, they said that it has already healed quite well. They are allowing me to go back to physical therapy this week,” Kurapika lifted his foot from its place on the couch and carefully flexed his toes, “I’m just glad the brace they gave me isn’t as hard to get around in as the boot was.”

Leorio nodded, shoveling some unidentified hospital gloop into his mouth.

Kurapika watched him in silence and sighed.

“ _I miss you.”_

He hadn’t meant to say that out loud, probably wouldn’t have realized he had, either, if it wasn’t for the way the doctor’s eyes widened and how he stopped chewing his food altogether. He felt his cheeks heat and he quickly pulled the phone away from his face so that the other wouldn’t see his embarrassment.

He put his face in his hands and groaned. He heard the doctor’s light chuckle and he pursed his lips.

_He’s awful. Why did I say that out loud?!_

“You know, this is my weekend off. Would you maybe wanna spend it with me? At my place, I mean.”

Kurapika slowly processed the invitation, “You want me to spend the weekend with you? The _entire_ weekend?” He picked his phone back up so he could see the man’s face.

“Well, yea. Is that okay? You totally don’t have to! But it would be really cool if you did! Oh but -uh- only if you’re comfortable with it.. Of course…”

Kurapika smiled at the doctor’s ramblings.

_I mean it wouldn’t hurt, not like I have anything else to do._

“Alright, I’ll come over Friday night, then,” he watched the doctor’s face light up and his chest suddenly felt tight.

The doctor was interrupted by the sound of his beeper. He sighed, “Well that’s my cue. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Good night, Leorio.”

The doctor smiled, “Good night, Sunshine. Oh and-”

Kurapika hummed, indicating for him to continue.

“I miss you too.”

He hung up and left Kurapika with a pounding heart and a head full of tangled emotions. 

  
  
  


By the end of the second week, Kurapika had been cleared to walk without crutches. Both his doctor and Melody were incredibly surprised with how quickly he was recovering. Kurapika was relieved.

There was still a dull ache present, but it was nothing in comparison to what it had initially felt like. He still had to be careful, but he was hopeful that it would be good enough to dance on soon.

When Kurapika had informed Pairo that he would be away for the weekend, his friend had immediately reported it to the group chat and Kurapika proceeded to chase him through the apartment with a rolled up National Geographic magazine, hobbling and wobbling all the way.

  
  


As Kurapika took the elevator ride up to Leorio’s apartment, his duffle bag over his shoulder, not for the first time he noticed that the building the doctor lived in was quite modest. It was an older building, with narrow hallways and flats that were comfortable but clearly not the luxury high rises across the street.

Of course, there was nothing wrong with living modestly, but it wasn't a place he really expected a _doctor_ to live in. He brushed aside the thought when he got to the door of Leorio's apartment.

He knocked and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear.

It took a few minutes but eventually the door swung open and he couldn't help the bubbly feeling he had in his gut when he saw Leorio’s handsome face smiling at him. The smell of something delicious wafted into the hallway.

"Hey there Sunshine, come on in. Dinner's almost ready."

Kurapika blinked in surprise and walked in. He took his bag off his shoulder and sat it next to the couch.

"You're making dinner? I didn't realize you could cook."

"Ouch, wound my pride why don't you. Though I suppose it's a fair assumption. I'm usually way too busy to cook for myself."

"I understand. I'm sorry to say that I am practically useless in the kitchen. My mother tried in vain to teach me while I was growing up but I wouldn't keep still long enough," he sat down on the sofa and immediately propped his bad foot up on the coffee table, "Did your mother teach you?"

He saw a small flicker of something sort of sad cross the man’s face for a moment before he was smiling again and shaking his head.

"Nah, I'm completely self-taught," he made his way into the kitchen area and stirred around something in a pot.

_That was strange… I won't pry._

"That's quite impressive."

"Sorry to disappoint if you were expecting something fancy, but it's just spaghetti tonight."

"That's more than alright with me. I haven't had spaghetti in years," Kurapika turned so he could watch the man move about the kitchen.

He took in the strong line of his shoulders and the way his well-worn t-shirt clung to them. 

_I wonder if he still has scratch marks from last time…_

He shook his head to clear his thoughts, his ears burning. Perhaps it was slowly catching up to him that it had been a couple of weeks since they'd done anything more than kiss.

He quickly diverted his attention, clearing his throat.

"Did you have anything planned for tomorrow or are we staying in and vegging out all weekend?"

Leorio glanced over his shoulder, "What if I said I wanted to keep you in bed all weekend?"

Kurapika flushed and spluttered, crossing his arms over his chest as the doctor laughed.

"I'm joking, we can do whatever you like. I'm sure you've gotten sick of being cooped up in the house."

_He's certainly right about that._

"You're _awful_. But yes I would very much like to go out somewhere. Maybe a movie or something?"

"That's cool with me," he replied, bringing over two steaming plates of spaghetti, "Water?"

"Yes please."

Kurapika inhaled deeply, savoring the smell of the homemade pasta. He waited for Leorio to sit down after he brought back the drinks before he dug in.

He hummed in satisfaction, noticing that the doctor was watching him for a reaction. 

"It's really good, I might have to convince you to make it for me every time I have a cheat day."

He smirked as the doctor’s ears tinged with red and he scratched at the back of his head, "What, really? You like it?"

"Of course. Don't tell my mother, but it's much better than hers."

He chuckled as the doctor visibly preened.

The dancer suddenly noticed something and leaned in, taking the doctor's glasses off of his face and cleaning them with his napkin, "You got sauce on your glasses, how did you even manage to do that?"

The doctor playfully snatched them back, "I was _cooking._ "

Kurapika laughed and shook his head, "You're so embarrassing. "

"Brat."

  
  


After dinner they washed dishes together. Kurapika was surprised at how much he didn't mind the domesticity.

When they retired to the bedroom, Leorio flopped down on the mattress with a deep, contented sigh.

Kurapika sat his duffle bag down in Leorio’s desk chair and the pictures on the desk caught his eye again. He hesitated a moment before picking one of the frames up and turning back to the doctor.  
  


“Leorio, who is this boy in the picture? He looks a lot like you.”

“Hm?” he sat up, “Oh! That’s my little brother, Gon!”

_I would assume the woman in the picture is their mother then… But she looks just a little too young to be Leorio’s mother..._

“Brother? I see. How far apart in age are you?”

“That’s an older picture, but he turned seventeen this year, and I’m twenty-eight. So eleven years?”

Kurapika nodded, “Does your family live nearby?”

Leorio’s demeanor changed quite visibly. He shrunk in on himself a bit and the small lines on his face got a little deeper. Kurapika didn't like it.

“Uh… no, I’ve actually never met any of my family. Well not in person at least."

Kurapika suddenly felt bad for asking. He sat the frame back on the desk and sat next to Leorio.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pried…”

Leorio shook his head, “It’s alright, it’s a bit of a complicated situation, but I’ll try to explain if you’re okay with me telling you.”

Kurapika recognised that the doctor was giving him an out again, as he often did. He was always willing to give Kurapika the freedom to say no, without sparing his own feelings, and the dancer appreciated that very much.

Kurapika fidgeted for a moment before slowly taking Leorio’s hand in both of his own and squeezing.

“I’ll listen if you’re willing to tell me.”

The doctor’s mouth quirked up at the corner before he took a deep breath. He seemed to search for a starting point before opening his mouth again.

“I grew up in an orphanage. I was in and out of foster homes for a few years as a kid, but no one kept me for very long. I guess I was too loud or too rambunctious. I was told that my father had surrendered me when I was a toddler. I didn’t remember him, or my mother at all.”

_He’s an orphan too?_

Kurapika swallowed around the lump in his throat.

“I became a really bitter teenager, and as a result no one ever adopted me. I aged out of the system. They kicked me out of the orphanage the day I turned 18 and I ended up on the street for a while.”

His grimace slowly faded, “I ended up doing odd jobs around the city to survive and that’s how I met my friends Pietro and Zepile. They helped get me on my feet and into medical school.”

Kurapika leaned his head against Leorio’s arm, listening intently.

“Everything was going well, I was moving on in life and getting my shit together and then one day out of the blue a couple years ago I got a message from this kid on facebook saying he thinks I’m his brother.”

The dancer’s audible gasp made Leorio chuckle, “Yea that was kind of hard to wrap my head around.”

“Gon told me that he had been trying to find his father, and in looking through records and genealogy websites he found _me_ too. It was the wildest thing I’d ever heard but he sent me copies of documents and links to the websites and sure enough. We have the same father.”

“Not the same mother?” 

“No, our mothers were completely different people. Mine was still alive somewhere out there, but his mother was dead. She died in childbirth apparently.”

_What an awful thing for a child to discover…_

“So, was Gon adopted?”

“Well yes, but…” he frowned and took a ragged breath, “For whatever reason, our father _Ging_ decided to drop Gon off on his cousin Mito’s doorstep when he was a baby and no one has seen him since. Apparently he's been in trouble with the law a bit over the years, but no one knows where he is."

"Sounds like a deadbeat…"

"Yea, I'll say," Leorio huffed, "Anyways, Gon and I have become really close. We talk all the time, he's a really great kid…"

Kurapika leaned forward to analyze his expression, "You seem upset about something. "

Leorio sighed, "I always wonder why I wasn't worth dropping off on a family member's doorstep. And I wonder why neither of us was good enough for Ging."

It felt like Kurapika’s heart had started cracking like glass. He couldn't possibly imagine how many times Leorio had stood in front of the mirror and wondered why nobody wanted him.

The kind and selfless doctor who went out of his way to make sure Kurapika felt beautiful and cared for… It made sense now why he was the way he was. He didn't want anyone else to feel what he had felt all his life.

Kurapika hesitated before letting go of the man’s hand and cupping his face. His thumbs stroked his prickly jaw as he coaxed him to look into his eyes.

"You're more than enough Leorio."

He saw the man swallow around the lump in his throat and close his eyes. He shook his head and cracked a smile.

"Don't go saying sappy shit like that, I'll start bawling."

Kurapika grinned and slowly pulled his hands away.

"I'm an orphan too, actually. Well, adopted, but I find it morbidly funny that we have such similar origins."

Leorio blinked, "Really? Do you mind if I ask the circumstances?"

Kurapika fidgeted, "My parents… they were killed in a hit and run accident. I was six or seven at the time."

Leorio frowned and sighed, laying back in the bed and pulling Kurapika with him. The dancer laid his head on his chest and listened to his heart beat.

"Life has a funny way of being awful doesn't it?"

He nodded, closing his eyes as the man's hand carded through his hair.

"So where does Gon live?"

"He lives across the country, on Whale Island. Its a small community and it doesn't have the best economy. I send them money to stay afloat."

Kurapika picked at the fabric of Leorio's shirt, "Of course you do. That doesn't surprise me."

Leorio chuckled, "He doesn't know it yet, but when he decides what college to attend I'm going to pay his tuition. I don't want him struggle like I did."

Kurapika leaned up to peer into Leorio’s pretty brown eyes, "You're a very generous person."

He brushed off the compliment, shaking his head, "I don't know about all that…"

"So you've still never met in person?"

"Yea, I've been meaning to go visit but… work. Gon said that next year he would probably come visit himself. I think that's partially because his boyfriend lives here in York New."

Kurapika couldn't help but share the conspicuous grin that spread over Leorio’s face, "Oh is that so?"

"Yea, they met online. Get this, the kid he's dating is a model. One of the Zoldyck fashion empire's youngest, apparently."

_One of Illumi's younger brothers?_

He filed that information away in his brain for later.

"What a small world, I'm friends with the oldest Zoldyck sibling."

Leorio arched a brow, "Oh, that really is something, huh?"

Kurapika threw his leg over the man's hip and adjusted to lay on top of the man fully. He crossed his arms on top of Leorio's chest and rested his chin on them.

It was odd how raw and vulnerable he felt, considering that he'd shared considerably less than the doctor had. It gave him a deep need to be close, and he sighed in relief when the doctor’s arms wrapped around him.

"Thank you."

"Hm?" Kurapika arched a brow, "For what?"

"For letting me talk about everything. I didn't realize how much I needed to get all that off my chest."

Kurapika leaned up to kiss him, softly and slowly. When he pulled away he laid back down on the doctor’s chest and closed his eyes.

"Its the least I could do."

_And much less than you deserve._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *force-feeds everyone my leorio/gon/ging relation conspiracy theory*
> 
> Writing this hurt me but like in a good way. :")
> 
> Submit fanart to my Twitter @renegayde007 or email it to cosmicrecyclingbin@gmail.com
> 
> Pirouette Vibe Tracks: https://open.spotify.com/track/5Nm9ERjJZ5oyfXZTECKmRt?si=OBnDkynWRKai0D7G5Vvrsw
> 
> My art tiktok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJHwykNv/
> 
> Support me on ko-fi (pls don't feel obligated): https://ko-fi.com/cosmicrecyclingbin
> 
> Leorio and Kurapika’s love languages are words of affirmation and acts of service and no this is not up for debate.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What do you call an outing between two people who are romantically and sexually entangled?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry guys I just really wanted to write porn today akdjdkskdjfkd

Waking up next to Leorio was different when neither of them had to rush to leave.

Kurapika slowly blinked his eyes open. He was laying on his side, the doctor’s arm thrown over his waist. He couldn’t help but smile at the obnoxious snoring coming from where Leorio’s face was pressed into the hair at the back of his neck. Cozy and content, he closed his eyes again.

_ This is… Nice. _

  
  


The next time he opened his eyes it was to the sensation of fluttering kisses being pressed against his neck and exposed shoulder. He hummed in contentment.

"Mmm, Morning."

"Good morning, Sunshine," his hold on Kurapika tightened and he nipped at his earlobe. 

Something tingly and warm started in the pit of the dancer’s gut. He slowly turned in the other’s arms, snuggling right up against his chest and tangling their legs together.

His vision was still blurry from sleep but he couldn't miss the soft look on Leorio's face. It made his stomach do somersaults. He reached up and rubbed at the doctor’s stubbly jaw.

Leorio leaned in and kissed him sweetly, coaxing his lips open. Kurapika’s eyelids fluttered closed as their tongues tangled, slow and lazy. The only sounds in the room were the soft smacks of their lips and little inhales of breath.

A warm hand slid underneath Kurapika’s oversized sweatshirt and traced the line of his spine. Kurapika arched his back and he felt a distinctive hardness pressing into his belly. Leorio’s mouth left his own to gently suck at the crook of his neck. He gave a breathy sigh.

Leorio finally pulled back and rested their foreheads together. The dancer’s pulse was thrumming in his veins and his gut twisted pleasantly, but he didn’t mind that the doctor seemed content with nothing more than this. For once, they didn’t have to rush into things.

_ We have all weekend… _

“Would you like some breakfast?”

Kurapika cracked an eye open, “Another homemade meal? You’re really trying to seduce me aren’t you?”

Leorio’s ears and neck tinged red and he gave an awkward little laugh.

_ I was joking but it looks like that might have been his actual plan. _

“Yes, I would very much enjoy breakfast.”

The doctor grinned and nuzzled against his cheek, the stubble making Kurapika laugh and push him off, “Go, I’m hungry!”

Leorio stood from the bed. Kurapika watched his languid stretch and sighed as he burrowed further into the blankets. He caught the man’s gaze and Leorio had the  _ audacity  _ to wink at him before leaving the room.

_ Asshole… _

Kurapika turned over and reached out for his phone on the side table. He unplugged it and brought it close. He noticed there were quite a few messages in the groupchat to catch up on, and upon reading them he smirked.

_ So Pakunoda ended up being the one to ask out Machi… It’s about time… _

_ Maybe now everyone’s attention will be on them and I can have some peace… _

Kurapika flopped over onto his back and kicked the covers off of his legs. He sat his phone to the side and put his bad foot into the air. He slowly flexed it, grunting at the dull ache. The appendage was slowly becoming flexible again, which was good news, as the showcase was in less than two weeks. The dancer sighed and put his leg down.

The season was about to kick off and he was injured. It made him anxious. Whatever his relationship with the doctor was, was making him a bit anxious too.

There was no mistaking that he  _ liked  _ being with Leorio. He liked kissing Leorio, he liked eating Leorio’s food, he liked  _ sleeping  _ with Leorio -both literally and figuratively.

Admittedly, he had been planning to call off this whole thing with the doctor the moment he went back to dancing. Now he wasn’t so sure if he could do that. 

_ If a successful dancer like Pakunoda isn’t afraid to let a relationship distract her, why should I be? _

_ Not to mention the fact that Chrollo has a new girlfriend every week and he’s fine… _

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

_ If it becomes a problem… I’ll deal with it. _

  
  


Leorio soon returned with a couple of plates and Kurapika sat up against the headboard to receive one into his lap. Leorio sat next to him, their arms brushing as he settled in.

“I figured serving you two heavy meals back to back might not be the best thing for your dancer diet, so I made you something a bit lighter. Is that okay?”

The food in question was an eggwhite omelette with colorful veggies inside. On the side was an orange, already peeled and pulled apart. Something about the thoughtfulness of the meal plucked at the dancer’s heartstrings and it took him a moment to collect himself before he could reply.

“It’s perfect, thank you.”

_ I hope I don’t have to deal with it. _

  
  


After breakfast they decided what movie to go and see, settling on one of the new sci fi-thrillers that was playing in town. The cinema wasn’t too far away, located down in the same district that Kurapika’s dance company was located in. They decided to walk, Kurapika citing the need to exercise his ankle properly.

They walked side-by-side on the busy sidewalk, one or the other pointing out certain things in the area that interested them or that they had been to. As they passed the grand Neo Broadway Theatre, Leorio stopped in his tracks and Kurapika tilted his head, looking to see what he was distracted by.

Along the front of the building were large framed posters of some of the shows to come, many of which showed Pakunoda, Chrollo, Hisoka, and even himself.

“Is that you?” his voice was full of wonder and it made Kurapika smile.

“Yes, that’s me.”

“Wow… So are you one of the leads?”

“No,” he sighed, “Not yet at least. I’m a second soloist, meaning I usually play important side characters. I also do corps or chorus work as well.”

Leorio nodded in understanding before turning to start walking again, “I’d love to see you dance sometime.”

“Really?” Kurapika was genuinely surprised that he’d be interested at all.

“Absolutely! I won’t lie, I don’t know a thing about ballet or theatre but I can tell that this is what you’re passionate about,” he turned his head and smiled fondly, “And I’m passionate about you.”

Heat shot through his body like a rocket and he was convinced he must have looked funny to anyone passing by with his tomato complexion and mouth opening and closing like a fish. He gathered himself and shook his head, bumping his shoulder against the doctor’s.

“You’re  _ ridiculous. _ ”

  
  


The movie was decent, but if you asked Kurapika what the plot was he wouldn’t have been able to tell you much.

From the time they sat down in the back of the uncrowded theatre, his attention was only on Leorio sitting next to him.

It started with watching the doctor’s facial expressions as he reacted to the events on the screen. At one point Leorio seemed to notice this and he turned to arch a brow with a smirk on his face. Kurapika was grateful that the cover of darkness hid the embarrassed flush on his cheeks as he looked away.

It wasn’t until Leorio’s broad hand settled on his knee that he became completely unable to focus. He snuck a glance at the man but his attention was fully on the screen. After a couple of moments the hand slid up and long fingers curled around his thigh, digging into the muscle. The dancer muffled a gasp behind his hand and hoped that no one else around had noticed.

He glared at Leorio but the man continued acting oblivious.

After a few moments, those mischievous fingers drew circles on his inner thigh and Kurapika had to shift in his seat.

Much to his chagrin, this pattern continued throughout the rest of the movie. By the time the credits rolled, Kurapika was wound tighter than a bow string. When he stood he adjusted his pants while trying to be as subtle as possible.

He didn't miss the smirk that plastered itself across the doctors face. He narrowed his eyes at him. 

  
  


When they were back on the street, Leorio didn't hesitate to take his hand and thread their fingers together. The tight warmth in his stomach had faded into a background fizzle, but had not disappeared whatsoever. 

They stopped by a street vendor and got some lunch before continuing to explore the downtown district.

Somewhere in the middle of it all, Kurapika realized it was a date.

  
  


The elevator ride back up to Leorio's apartment was spent in silence, but the air was thick with tension. They stared at eachother across the small space, their eyes doing the talking for them. 

Kurapika fully expected to be thrown over the back of the couch as soon as they stepped through the door.

That didn't happen.

Leorio sat his keys down on the coffee table and gave a stretch, "I hope you don't mind but I have a bit of work I need to get done tonight."

"Oh," Kurapika crossed his arms and nodded, trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice, "No, I don't mind at all. In fact I'll take a shower while you're busy."

The look in Leorio’s eyes hadn't changed, it was still charged with electricity. 

_ What is he trying to do. _

"Okay, after we can decide on dinner?"

Kurapika nodded and slipped by him, into the bathroom. 

  
  


The longer he stayed in the shower, the more worked up he got. Halfway through washing himself thoroughly he had an epiphany.

_ That asshole is teasing me. He has been all day. He's just trying to get a rise out of me. _

Well Kurapika was done with the doctor’s little game and he intended to make that  _ very _ clear.

He finished up quickly and stepped out of the shower. He didn't bother drying his body or his hair, letting the water drip down his torso. He wiped the steam from the mirror and looked at his reflection, building up enough confidence to carry out his plan.

He opened the bathroom door and steam followed him out. Leorio had vacated the living room but the steady click-clack from the bedroom told him that he wasn't far.

He sauntered to the door and peered in, seeing the doctor facing away from him at his desk, supposedly hard at work. Silent as can be, he slinked up behind the man like a cat. He put his hands on the mans shoulders and smirked at the little jump he received in return. He slid his hands down Leorio’s chest and settled his head on a broad shoulder. He certainly wasn't typing anymore. 

"H-hey."

Kurapika grinned against the side of Leorio's neck at the stutter.

"Hello."

The doctor cleared his throat, still not turning to look at him, "Did you have a good shower?"

"No, I'm afraid I didn't," the fingers of one hand traced patterns over a firm pectoral muscle.

The doctor swallowed thickly, "Oh?"

"You know, its incredibly rude to treat me the way you have today and then leave me all alone in there."

"Not sure what you mean, Sunshine," he tilted his head and hummed as Kurapika's teeth scraped against his pulse point.

"Mhm, I'm sure you don't. The Google document you have been typing nonsense in to tells me otherwise."

Leorio’s ears tinged red but he chuckled, "So you've discovered my plan. What are you going to do about it?"

***

Kurapika stood back up and spun the chair around. He settled his hands back on Leorio's shoulders and straddled his lap.

He watched as the doctor’s pupils doubled in size and his breath caught in his throat. He licked his lips and followed the trails of water dripping down his body with his eyes, unbothered that his clothes were getting soaked.

Leorio rested his hands on the dancer’s slick hips as Kurapika took the glasses from his face and set them aside.

Kurapika couldn't remember which of them kissed the other first, all he could concentrate on were the rough hands sliding along his wet body and the way Leorio's tongue felt stroking against the roof of his mouth.

He pulled away to get Leorio's shirt off of him. Leorio’s mouth attacked the sensitive patch of skin below his ear and made its way down. Kurapika’s blunt nails dug into the doctor’s shoulders. He rocked his hips, moaning as his dick slid against Leorio’s abs.

Leorio’s teeth and tongue teased at the blonde’s throat when he threw his head back. His hands settled on the tight muscle of his ass and squeezed as the doctor began laying mark after mark from his collar bones to his nipples. 

When those lips closed around a hardened nub he let out a keening sound, hand tangling in the messy top of the doctor's hair and tugging. The doctor groaned and wrapped a hand around his cock, stroking slowly. 

Kurapika’s hips jolted and rocked into Leorio’s hand. The sleepy makeout session from this morning, the teasing at the theatre, the eyefucking in the elevator, and the reality of not having had sex in several weeks was quickly catching up to him.

Kurapika took a raspy breath, "Stop toying with me."

He felt the doctor smirk before sinking his teeth into his nipple. He cried out in pleasure, arching his back.

Leorio pulled away and kissed him, hot and dirty, and stood with the blonde in his arms. He took the couple of steps towards the bed and tossed him lightly onto the mattress. He quickly stripped off his pants and boxers and climbed onto the bed in between his legs. He peered down at Kurapika’s rosy face, his eyes heavy with desire.

"You want me to stop teasing?" Fingertips danced along a sharp hip bone.

Unable to find his voice, Kurapika nodded, a shiver going through his body. He reached up to touch Leorio’s face but the doctor slid down his body, kissing a line across his torso.

"I'll stop when I feel like you deserve it," his tongue dipped into his navel suggestively.

Kurapika's eyes widened and the heady pleasure curling inside him coiled tighter.

_ Does he mean to drive me  _ **_insane?_ **

The doctor sucked hickies onto every inch of his inner thighs before lightly tracing just the very tip of his tongue up the dancer’s erection. Kurapika’s hands fisted in the sheets and his legs tensed.

Leorio's lips teased across the taut skin of his sack and Kurapika choked on his own breath.

Strong hands pushed his legs up and out, and his thumbs held his cheeks apart. Kurapika didn't realize what was about to happen until he felt a light puff of air against his sensitive flesh. He closed his eyes and raised a shaking hand to his mouth as Leorio ran the broad flat of his tongue across his furled entrance. 

He repeated this a few times, eliciting gasps and little moans out of the dancer, before prodding the hole with the tip of his tongue. Kurapika’s toes curled and his brow furrowed as he squirmed under the attention.

Kurapika bit his knuckle at the slippery, lewd feeling of Leorio's tongue working him open, beginning to roll his hips against the man's face in desperation.

The tongue disappeared and Kurapika  _ whined _ . He swore he heard a chuckle before a wet finger filled him up. He didn't know when Leorio had even  _ gotten _ the lube but he was grateful. Soon a second finger joined in to stretch him properly as his tongue pressed against his perineum. 

Kurapika let out a borderline sob, all of his nerves on fire. The fingers inside him were purposefully avoiding where he wanted them most and it was driving him crazy. His hand tangled in his own damp hair and pulled, just to ground himself.

" _ Please, _ " he bit his lip, his thighs trembling.

Leorio leaned up on his elbow and peered at him from under the hair that had flopped onto his forehead.

"Please,  _ what _ ?" 

Kurapika gritted his teeth, the flush on his face deepening. He was far too aroused to truly be annoyed at the antic.

"Please  _ fuck me,  _ Leorio."

The doctor cursed and pulled his fingers out, wiping them on the sheets and settling on his knees between Kurapika’s thighs. It wasn't til then that he saw that Leorio was as affected as he was, the head of his cock flushed a furious color and steadily dripping precum.

Kurapika flung his arms around the doctor’s neck and moaned shamelessly as he was filled. Leorio let out a ragged breath as their hips met.

It didn't take long to work up to a quick pace, but it still wasn't enough. Kurapika's nails dug into the back of the man’s neck and he bit his lip, rolling his hips up to meet his thrusts.

A hand came up to Kurapika’s face and Leorio’s thumb pried his lip away from his teeth. When he spoke, his voice was low and desperate. 

"Say it again."

The blonde tried to push through the haze of pleasure, "Nngh wh-what?"

"My  _ name _ , say it again," the pleading note in his voice made his chest flutter.

"L-Leorio…" he swallowed around the lump in this throat, "More, I-I need-"

Kurapika gasped as one of his legs was shoved up on top of the doctor’s shoulder. The new position sent him reeling as he felt his prostate being hit dead on.

" _ Again," _ his hands squeezed his hip and thigh until they threatened to bruise.

In a moment of clarity Kurapika realized that the last time they were in this type of scenario, they didn't know each other's names. It seemed that the intimacy of hearing his name in the throws of passion was really setting the doctor off.

" _ Leorio,"  _ he moaned, throwing his head back. He felt the doctor’s hips stutter before the pace of them sped up and became rough. 

" **_Again,"_ ** his voice was wrecked, the tendon in his jaw straining as he practically drilled Kurapika into the mattress.

The dancer gasped and began to shake, the cord in his stomach ready to snap, " _ Leorio! A-ah, Le-Leorio!!" _

" **_Kurapika._ ** "

That was all it took for the dam to break and they both came  _ loudly _ . So loudly in fact that one of the neighbors banged on the wall that the bed was against. 

Neither could find it within themselves to care.

***

Kurapika slowly lowered his leg, panting as well as he could with the taller of the two acting as dead weight on his torso.

He turned his head to see the doctor’s face but it was buried in the crook of his neck. It took a couple of minutes for the numbness to leave his fingertips and toes, and for Leorio to start snoring.

Kurapika sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose, knowing that he was trapped for the time being. 

His hand threaded in the doctors hair and he nuzzled against the top of his head.

Unbidden, thoughts of Leorio's sweet gestures and intense words from earlier flooded his mind.

_ 'I'm passionate about  _ **_you.'_ **

  
  
  


_ I am well and truly  _ **_fucked._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all ready for some more of Kurapika’s mom? 👀
> 
> Submit fanart to my Twitter @renegayde007 or email it to cosmicrecyclingbin@gmail.com
> 
> Pirouette Vibe Tracks: https://open.spotify.com/track/5Nm9ERjJZ5oyfXZTECKmRt?si=OBnDkynWRKai0D7G5Vvrsw
> 
> My art tiktok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJHwykNv/
> 
> Support me on ko-fi (pls don't feel obligated): https://ko-fi.com/cosmicrecyclingbin


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurapika’s mother points out the obvious. How much longer can the dancer tip toe around his own feelings?

The next day was met with a sloppy round of morning sex before breakfast and Kurapika and Leorio were content to laze about for the rest of the day.

They had eventually moved into the living room to watch television. Kurapika sat on the sofa with the doctor’s head in his lap as he idly ran his fingers through his messy hair.

The doctor’s legs were so long that they hung off the arm of the couch. Kurapika found this incredibly amusing.

Kurapika was content and enjoying the time spent together, but in the back of his mind he swore something was amiss.

_ Am I forgetting something? _

He drummed his finger tips on Leorio's scalp without thinking and the doctor grumbled.

It wasn't much longer before Kurapika’s phone began to ring with a facetime call.

"Ah, I forgot to call my mom-" he scrambled to push Leorio off of him and the man landed on the floor with a grunt.

" _ Hey  _ watch it, what's happening?"

"I always facetime my mother on Sundays but today I forgot," the ringing stopped and immediately started again, "I'm sorry to ask but can you make yourself scarce? If she sees you she will  _ never  _ leave me alone."

Leorio stood with a deep sigh, "Alright, I suppose so," he kissed the top of Kurapika’s head and headed back to the bedroom.

As soon as he was out of sight the dancer slid his thumb over the screen and answered the call. His mother's pinched face appeared.

"Kurapika, where have you been? I've been waiting for you to call all day."

"Sorry mom, I've been… at a friend's house and I kind of forgot what day it was."

He could tell from her expression that she wasn't completely buying it, but whatever she had been about to say was interrupted by another voice saying a hearty " _ Hello, son!"  _ From the background.

"Hello, dad!" He replied with a chuckle.

His mother cleared her throat to regain his attention.

"So Kurapika, will you be going back to the studio this week?"

He settled back against the couch cushions.

"Yes, Melody and the orthopedic doctor said it would be fine to ease back into my normal schedule this week. I just have to start slow and light. I'm not allowed to do pointe for more than ten minutes at a time for right now."

He could tell by the twist in her mouth that she wasn't happy about this.

"Sweetheart, don't you think it's still a bit soon?"

He sighed, "I can see why you'd think so, but I've healed astonishingly fast. Besides, I can't afford any more downtime with the start of the season right around the corner."

His mother nodded and pushed a lock of her graying hair behind her ear, "Alright dear, you know your body better than anyone else. Just don't push yourself too hard, okay?"

"Yes mom, of course," it was then that his eye caught something behind him in the little square at the corner of his screen. It was Leorio trying to be as inconspicuous as possible as he grabbed a snack from the fridge.

His eyes widened and he quickly turned his body away from the direction of the kitchen. He thought he was fast enough, but alas …

"Sweetheart who was that behind you?"

He glared daggers at the man who, admittedly, looked very apologetic. He fumbled with his words before simply saying, "Oh, uh that's Leorio."

"Leorio? Oh! You mean the doctor you've been seeing? Why didn't you say you were with him? Make him come here, I want to talk to him!"

He pinched the bridge of his nose at her excitement, "Mom, I really don't think-"

"Hello Mrs. Kurta, how are you this evening?" Leorio was suddenly pressed close to his side on the couch, leaning in to be seen.

_ What is he doing?!?!?! _

"I'm doing just fine, dear, I hope you are too," she tilted her head, "My goodness what a  _ looker _ you are."

" _ Mother _ " Kurapika’s face was scandalized.

Leorio’s ears tinged red and he chuckled, scratching the back of his head, "Well thank you, ma'am."

"I'd like to thank you for taking such good care of my son while he's been out of commission. Sweet Pairo told me about how much you've doted on him."

_ Pairo I swear to  _ **_God._ **

"Its no trouble at all," he snuck a glance at the side of Kurapika’s face, "It's my pleasure really."

The blonde felt heat creep into his face.

His mother was positively  _ beaming _ .

"What a sweetheart you are. Tell me Leorio, where did you attend school?"

"Right here in York New, at the state medical school. I completed my residency at YN General four years ago and work there full time now."

"How prestigious! Is that where you'd like to stay?"

Leorio hesitated a moment and Kurapika cocked his brow at him, "Actually I've been thinking of going into private practice. Not now, mostlikely a few years down the line. The stability would be nice."

"I think that's very practical. It sounds like you've made quite a life for yourself, your parents must be proud. "

Kurapika's eyes shot to Leorio’s face in concern. The doctor looked down at his hands, his confidence dropping.

"I actually don't have any parents."

Kurapika’s mother quickly became embarrassed, "Oh sweetie, I'm sorry, I didn't know!"

"Its alright, I promise," he smiled but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Well that settles it, if there's no one else to claim you, I certainly will."

Both Leorio and Kurapika’s faces morphed in surprise. 

"If you ever need something, my husband and I would be happy to help. The next time Kurapika comes for dinner, you come along too. I'll leave a plate out for you."

Kurapika heard a sharp intake of breath and he turned to see Leorio’s face, which seemed to be full of conflicting emotions. 

"Thank you, Ma'am. That is incredibly thoughtful. If you'll excuse me, I have some work to attend to." He stood and Kurapika watched him retreat into the bedroom.

When he was gone, Kurapika narrowed his eyes at the screen, " _ Mother." _

"Oh dear, I hope I didn't upset him terribly."

Kurapika sighed and shook his head. He turned and laid down on his back, holding his phone above him.

"Perhaps you came on a bit too strong?"

His mother huffed, "Well perhaps. But nevermind that. I like him, Kurapika. I can tell he's a good man."

The dancer muttered an agreement,.

"I can also tell that he's in love with you."

Kurapika choked on his own saliva. His face turned red and he had to sit up as he coughed. When he finally calmed down he glared at the phone screen. 

"Don't say nonsensical things like that. "

"There's nothing nonsensical about it. Every time he looked at you, he had stars in his eyes."

Kurapika’s stomach did that odd little flip and his chest became tight.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Fine, play dumb if you like, Sweetheart. But believe me when I say that losing a man like that would be your greatest misfortune."

Kurapika sat in silence for a moment before his mother spoke again.

"I'm going to let you go, tell Leorio I said goodnight. I love you. "

"Love you too."

  
  


He sighed in relief as she hung up and tossed his phone aside. He put his head in his hands.

_ What if she's right? What if he  _ **_is_ ** _ in love with me? _

The idea of having to break the doctor’s heart made his chest ache.

_ I hope he isn't.  _

  
  


He shook those thoughts from his head and stood, making his way to the bedroom.

Leorio sat on the bed, facing away from him. He went around the bed and sat next to him, laying his head on the man’s shoulder. 

"I'm sorry about her… she can be a bit much. Which is why she and Pairo get along so well, I theorize."

"It's alright, I was just caught off guard," there was a tiny, almost imperceptible quiver to his voice, "That was a very kind offer."

Kurapika took one of his hands and toyed with his fingers, "Thank you for talking to her, you didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to."

His tone was very matter-of-fact, and Kurapika didn't question him further about it.

"So, back to work tomorrow?"

The doctor sighed, "Yup. And you're going back to the studio?"

"Yes," he took a deep breath, "I'm relieved, but…"

Leorio turned to peer at him, a concerned look on his face, "But?"

"We will be seeing a lot less of each other again. With the season about to start, it will be even less than before, for a while at least."

Leorio seemed to contemplate this for a moment before nodding.

"Okay."

Kurapika tilted his head, "Okay?"

Leorio took the dancer’s chin in his hand and tilted it up so they could see eye to eye.

"Seeing you once a month is better than not seeing you at all."

Kurapika’s cheeks warmed and he swallowed around the lump in his throat. 

"You don't mind? At all?"

Leorio leaned in until their foreheads were pressed together, "Of course I do. But it's alright. Even if you can't, I will  _ make  _ time. Even if it's just to see you during your lunch breaks. I'll make it happen."

Kurapika had to close his eyes to keep the prick of tears at bay. He took a shuddering breath, unable to find his voice.

Thankfully, it seemed that the doctor wasn't expecting an answer. Instead, he pressed a kiss to his lips and pulled away like nothing happened.

When he left for a moment to use the bathroom, Kurapika suddenly felt cold. He laid down and wrapped his arms around Leorio’s pillow, bringing it to his chest.

_ If I ignore it, will this go away? _

He didn't know whose feelings he was most afraid of.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shorter, but I really wanted something to break up the fic and act as kind of a segue into the next part of the story. Next chapter will be up soon :)
> 
> Submit fanart to my Twitter @renegayde007 or email it to cosmicrecyclingbin@gmail.com
> 
> Pirouette Vibe Tracks: https://open.spotify.com/track/5Nm9ERjJZ5oyfXZTECKmRt?si=OBnDkynWRKai0D7G5Vvrsw
> 
> My art tiktok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJHwykNv/
> 
> Support me on ko-fi (pls don't feel obligated): https://ko-fi.com/cosmicrecyclingbin


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurapika makes the first of many choices that could affect his career and relationship- for better or worse.

Jumping back into his regular schedule eased a lot of anxiety within Kurapika. Routine provided him with structure, and left little room for unnecessary overthinking, which he seemed to be prone to more than usual these days.

It was hard not to immediately overwork himself, but he knew that pushing too hard would result in worse injury and the last thing he wanted was to shave off more years of his dancing ability. He maintained one day a week off, and Pairo made sure he stuck to it.

His friends and company associates seemed excited to have him back, all except for Chrollo, who rolled his eyes everytime he so much as walked in the room. They hadn’t spoken directly at all, even during rehearsals, but the tension between them permeated the whole building.

Pakunoda was the most relieved at his return, having immediately pulled him in for a bone-crushing hug upon seeing him again. Kurapika couldn’t help but notice how the lines in her face had gotten deeper. She seemed both happy and exhausted all at once, but he couldn’t blame her.

_Poor Pakunoda._

Being one of the top dancers in the country, Pakunoda bore the burden of media attention. Truthfully, most of the company did in varying degrees. There was never much in the news about Kurapika, because he didn’t really _do_ anything more than dance. Chrollo and Hisoka were constantly featured in the tabloids, seen out and about with new arm candy every week. 

People love to speculate about business that isn’t their own.

Pakunoda was no stranger to paparazzi, having been in the business for so long. However, the principal dancer was a very private person, and until Machi, she had mostly been in the news for her charity work with the local animal shelters.

Having her relationship exposed online and in paper didn’t seem to bother her on the surface, but Kurapika wondered if she felt any guilt for dragging Machi into the spotlight.

_How would Leorio react to our relationship being so talked about?_

If Kurapika _did_ succeed Pakunoda in the role of principal, that was something they would need to talk about. If he decided to continue with the relationship, that is.

Kurapika and Leorio made sure to text each other at least once a day, but typically they were too busy for more than that. Kurapika hated the hollow feeling that came when he went to bed alone at night.

They briefly saw each other on Kurapika’s day off. Leorio had brought him _breakfast_ on his way to work that morning and the dancer couldn’t think about anything else all day.

  
  


The week of the showcase came quickly, and in some ways Kurapika was relieved about that. He had managed to perfect his solo and was confident that he had plenty of time to practice it beforehand.

The only concern he had was his stamina and how his ankle would hold up throughout the night. In addition to his solo, he was in 6 other numbers. He just hoped he could make it through to the end without stumbling.

Pain he could deal with, shame he could not.

  
  
  


“Kurapika, your phone is ringing nonstop in your locker.”

The blonde turned away from his conversation with Bisky and Pakunoda to the doorway, where one of the younger dancers, Canary, was poking her head in.

“Oh, thank you,” he turned back to the ladies, “Pardon me for a moment.”

He crossed the room, ignoring the way Chrollo’s nose turned up as he walked by.

Kurapika was admittedly a bit confused and concerned.

_No one calls me during practice. Who could it be? I hope nothing happened to mom or dad..._

He tried not to think the worst, but as he got closer to the locker room and heard his phone continuing to go off, his heart sank.

_That’s Leorio’s ringtone…_

He rushed to open his locker and fumbled with the combination as a result of his nerves. The ringing stopped and started again twice while he tried to get the metal door open and he cursed.

When he finally managed to get to his phone, he swiped to answer the call.

“Leorio? What’s going on, are you okay?”

There was nothing but silence for a moment and Kurapika pulled the phone away from his ear to make sure the call was still connected.

“Leorio?”

  
  


There was a shaky exhale of breath before the man finally spoke up.

“H-hey. I’m… sorry to bother you, I know you’re busy. I know you’re at the studio right now. But I-”

He paused and seemed to clear his throat. Kurapika thought he heard the sound of an aborted sniffle. Kurapika swallowed around the lump in his throat and interjected.

“I’m going to ask you two questions,” he could hear the shake in his own voice, “First, are you dying?”

Leorio let out a huff of something close to a laugh, “No.”

Relief started to fill him up and he relaxed back against the lockers.

“Okay, good. Second question, are you _okay?_ ”

There was a longer pause this time.

“No. Not really,” Kurapika chewed on his lip as the doctor continued, “I-I would never ask this of you normally, and you can absolutely say no and I’ll just deal. But could you come to the hospital. Right now.”

The dancer’s chest became uncomfortably tight. 

_Something awful must have happened if Leorio is asking such a thing._

There were still 4 hours left of rehearsal. The showcase was the next day.

Leaving early from rehearsal was heavily frowned upon under any circumstances. Doing so right before the kick off of the season would probably guarantee that Kurapika would never gain principal status. 

Kurapika must have gone too long without saying anything, because the next thing out of Leorio’s mouth was “ _Please._ ”

It was a soft and broken sound and Kurapika _hated_ it. Hated everything about it.

His mind was made up.

“I’ll be there soon.”

There was a sigh of relief from the other end.

“Thank you.”

  
  


After hanging up the phone Kurapika quickly switched his shoes and shoved his gym bag back in his locker. He’d come back for it later. He didn’t bother to change out of his leggings and tee shirt, or take his hair down from it’s disheveled bun.

He quickly ran back to the studio where he’d been rehearsing with the others and pulled Bisky aside. He explained what was going on and he could tell that she wasn’t happy about it but she dismissed him nonetheless. Pakunoda sent him a questioning gaze from across the room.

He was only a few paces from the front door of the building when someone grabbed him by the shoulder. Kurapika turned to see Chrollo standing behind him, his expression furious. Kurapika shook off his hand and backed up.

“Chrollo, I don’t have time for your games right now.”

“But you have time to run out on rehearsal? The day before a show? Are you serious, Kurapika?”

“I wouldn’t leave if something serious wasn’t happening. You know that I’d never slack off like that.”

“See I’m not so sure about that. All spring your head has been in the clouds. You just came back from an injury, I’m surprised Bisky is even letting you perform this season.”

Kurapika clenched his fists, about to retaliate again but he realized he was wasting time. Leorio needed him more than Kurapika needed to win an argument.

“Let’s take a raincheck on this conversation, I have to be somewhere,” he turned and walked out, leaving Chrollo to scoff in the middle of the lobby.

  
  
  


The way to the hospital seemed like it was the longest taxi ride of his life. He was in such a hurry to get to Leorio that he forgot for a moment that he didn’t actually know where the doctor _was._

He stepped up to the front desk and spoke to the receptionist.

“Excuse me, I’m looking for Dr. Paladiknight, can you tell me where to find him?”

Before the girl could even open her mouth, another woman with long seafoam colored hair stepped in from the back, “Are you Kurapika?”

The woman was average in height and wore both a white coat and a large pair of glasses. She didn’t appear to be much older than Leorio.

“Uh, yes I’m Kurapika,” the dancer stood up a little taller.

“Come with me, I’ll take you to Leorio.”

She started walking, expecting him to follow. Kurapika quickly caught up.

“I’m sorry Dr.-”

“Yorkshire, but you can call me Cheadle, Kurapika.”

“Cheadle, how do you know me?”

The woman led him down several hallways, the further they went the less people he saw.

“I’m sure every staff member in this hospital knows your name and face by now, Kurapika,” she chuckled, pushing her glasses back up her nose.

_What is that supposed to mean?_

Sensing his confusion, she elaborated, “Leorio talks about you all the time. Anyone who happens to pass by his office while the door is open gets to have him show off the pictures he has of you in it.”

Kurapika’s face flushed.

_He keeps a picture of me?_

Cheadle led him down a corridor and used her ID badge to open up a set of doors labeled _‘Employees Only’._ He followed her inside and looked around at what appeared to be office doors, each with a name placard.

“Here we are,” she paused a couple of feet from the door that held a plaque saying _Leorio Paladiknight M.D._ and turned to him. She had a stoic look on her face, though her eyes shined with unmistakable kindness.

“Leorio and I had our residencies here at the same time, so I know him quite well. He’s had partners here and there over the years but none really lasted. And none of them really made him happy,”

“He’s always been a cheerful man, but since he began talking about his _mystical ballerina boyfriend_ he actually seems truly happy. Thank you for that, Kurapika.”

Kurapika’s stomach was doing flips and he didn’t know how to fully unpack what he’d been told, so he pushed it aside for now. He looked towards the door.

“Is he alright?”

She sighed and crossed her arms, shaking her head.

“It’s been a rough day for him. I can’t give out details, of course, but I can tell you that he lost a young one today. A child who has been in and out of here for quite some time. They were close.”

Kurapika nodded, that tight feeling back in his chest again.

“Is it okay if I go in?”

“Of course. Take all the time you need, I’m covering for him until he returns.”

“Thank you, Cheadle.”

  
  


He stepped up to the door and took a deep breath before knocking. When he didn’t receive an answer he turned the knob and slowly stepped in, closing the door behind him.

Unlike his bedroom, Leorio’s office was bursting with personality. There were movie posters and action figures decorating the walls and shelves alongside his degree and medical licenses. Pushed into the corner was a large wrap around desk with two computer monitors and a giant pile of paperwork on it. There were sticky notes of various colors and shapes all over the desk itself and the wall next to it.

In the middle of the room there was a sofa and a couple of chairs. Judging by the pile of blankets and pillows, Leorio was no stranger to sleeping in his office.

On either side of the room were posters of Kurapika himself. More specifically, they were old advertisements for his starring roles in both _La Sylphide_ and _Giselle,_ from his graduating year at YNSD.

_How did he even get those?_

He filed that away for later as his eyes settled on the doctor. He was sitting on the couch, his head in his hands. Both his white coat and blazer were haphazardly tossed across one of the chairs. Around him on the couch were a box of tissues and several used ones. His tie hung loose around his neck and the first couple of buttons on his shirt were undone. His hair was so disheveled that it looked as if he had been incessantly running his hands through it. He probably had.

Leorio didn’t look up as he approached. With every step he took, Kurapika felt his heart break a little more.

He stepped up between the doctor’s legs and pulled his hands away from his face. He gently lifted his head so he could see his face and his breath caught in his throat. His eyes were puffier than he’d ever seen, but worse than that was the missing sparkle that was usually present even when he was upset.

He looked tired and empty and oh how Kurapika _hated_ it.

He thumbed at the man’s cheek bones before moving closer and pressing Leorio’s head into his chest. He wrapped his arms around it and laid his chin on top.

It took a few minutes but eventually the doctor’s shoulder’s began to shake and small sobbing noises were muffled into Kurapika’s shirt, which was rapidly becoming wet with tears.

The doctor's arms eventually came up around him and his hands fisted in the back of his shirt.

Kurapika stayed like that for what seemed like hours, until the hands slowly let go and the tears dried up.

They never spoke.

  
  


Kurapika sat with Leorio’s sleeping face in his lap, petting his hair.

He couldn’t imagine what kind of turmoil the doctor had been feeling. He had no regrets about coming but he did wish there was more he could do.

It was then that he remembered something. This something wouldn’t fix the situation at hand, but it would put a smile on Leorio’s face, he was sure of that.

He carefully pulled his phone out of his pocket without disturbing the doctor. As predicted, his friends had caught wind of his abrupt exit and had blown up his notifications. He ignored them and tapped on a certain contact.

  
  
  


**To: Illumi Zoldyck**

**I need a favor.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I know is Hurt/Comfort, eat hot chip and CRY
> 
> Submit fanart to my Twitter @renegayde007 or email it to cosmicrecyclingbin@gmail.com
> 
> Pirouette Vibe Tracks: https://open.spotify.com/track/5Nm9ERjJZ5oyfXZTECKmRt?si=OBnDkynWRKai0D7G5Vvrsw
> 
> My art tiktok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJHwykNv/
> 
> Support me on ko-fi (pls don't feel obligated): https://ko-fi.com/cosmicrecyclingbin
> 
> Kurapika's ringtone for Leorio is Suit and Tie by Justin Timberlake you cannot convince me otherwise


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Show time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So skdjrkdkjdjf heres the link to the piece Kurapika performs, I did a shit job at describing it sjdhdjdjdb https://youtu.be/J6LiYDWYbJY

_One two three, one two three._

  
  


Though Kurapika was someone who craved stability and routine, he couldn't deny the thrill that the chaos of opening night gave him.

Backstage was crowded and hot, dancers of all types getting strapped into costumes and painted up like dolls by Machi and her team.

Bisky and Pariston were running around like chickens with their heads cut off, trying to make sure everything was running smoothly.

The sound and lighting teams were doing last minute checks, and the set pieces for the first number were being rolled into place.

Kurapika took a deep breath, calming his nerves.

Pairo came up next to him, a face full of makeup on but no costume in sight, "How’s your ankle feeling, Pika?"

The blonde lifted his foot and flexed it, "It's alright for now. I just wish my solo was a little earlier on in the program."

"I tried to convince you to lay off the spins."

Kurapika sighed and leaned over to adjust the tapes on his shoes before walking over to the box of rosin and thoroughly coating his shoes. 

"I know, but the spins pull it all together. I'm not going to sacrifice style for comfort. How do I look?"

Pairo crossed his arms and eyed Kurapika’s costume for the first number. He was in an olive green bodice and tutu with pink and white flowers. The same flowers were tucked into his bun. The first number was the dancing fairies scene from _Sleeping Beauty._

"Like a twink."

Kurapika rolled his eyes and shook his head before stepping out of the rosin.

He looked around, searching through the crowd for a certain face.

"Have you seen Hisoka?"

Pairo gave a long suffering sigh, "Yes, unfortunately. It seems he convinced Illumi to give him some… good luck… before the show. Don't go into the staff bathroom."

Kurapika resisted the urge to scrub his hand over his face, so as not to wreck his makeup.

"Unbelievable."

"And yet, completely predictable."

"Let's just hope he's back before the second number or Bisky might put his head above her mantle."

Pairo laughed and slapped him on the back, "I'm gonna go suit up, see you later."

Kurapika watched him go and went over to a less crowded corner to stretch.

_I wonder how Leorio’s doing._

The doctor had texted him earlier in the after noon, just a simple **_'break a leg <3'._ **

He sighed and tried to put him out of his mind for the time being. 

_No distractions today._

  
  
  


The exhilaration of being back on stage in front of a massive crowd carried Kurapika throughout the night. By the time it was his turn for a solo, however, his ankle was killing him.

He slowly stretched it as he waited behind the curtain, fidgeting with his high-necked black leotard as he ran through the steps in his head.

Pariston nudged him onto the stage and he took a deep breath before walking into the center. His gut twisted in a combination of excitement and nerves.

The music began and he slowly reached up to pull his hair loose from its bun. He shook it out and lowered his arm, for the other to rise and bend and he rolled his torso.

His arms bent and twisted behind his back and he swept a bent leg out and in again, before spinning slowly into a releve, the tempo of the music forcing him to tightly control his movements as he spun. 

Contemporary pointe was by no means his specialty, but when Kurapika set out to create this solo, he intended to challenge himself. 

Pairo had been the one to suggest the music, and though Kurapika thought it awfully corny ( _Medicine Man? Really Pairo?)_ , he ultimately went with it. He refused to admit the obvious connection to Leorio.

There were several differences between Traditional and Contemporary Pointe, not the least of which was the amount of floor work. He elegantly slid to the floor and turned over, raising his leg in to the air, and turning back up, one knee raised. He arched his back and slid back onto his feet.

He spun languidly, holding his foot in the air.

With every movement he accentuated the curves and angles of his limbs, twisting this way and that. 

He hit the deck again, arching his back and tossing his hair provacatively before sliding himself back up.

It wasn't until about halfway through, during his backwards bouree across the stage, that he noticed the pain in his ankle getting worse. He schooled his expression and tightened his movements, refusing to let the audience see his weakness.

Refusing to let Chrollo have the satisfaction of his failure. 

He had a brief respite as he went down on the floor again, fluidly sliding his body into a complete circle against the wood of the stage, his limbs acting like lazy clock hands. 

Unfortunately, the latter part of his solo was where the bulk of the spins were. To his credit, he didn't so much as wobble.

The moody pop song wound down and Kurapika finished with his back to the floor, legs raised and crossing before he splayed himself out.

The audience went _nuts_. He took a few deep gasping breaths before pulling himself to his feet. He looked out over the crowd, waiting a beat before giving a bow and strutting off the stage.

As the adrenaline began to wear off he became hyper aware of his pain, and as soon as he passed the curtain he allowed himself to limp.

Things were winding down back stage as he made his way into the dressing room he shared with a few other dancers. It was empty at the moment but the shed costumes laying about everywhere suggested it had been occupied recently. He sat down at one of the mirrors and began taking off his makeup, trying to ignore the throbbing in his ankle.

Before he was able to change out of his leotard and tights, there was a knock at the door. He arched a brow, unsure why anyone would bother announcing themselves. There was no privacy or shame backstage. He sighed and hobbled to the door.

When he opened it, there stood Leorio with a soft smile on his face and a bouquet of roses and sunflowers in his hand.

"Leorio?" Kurapika blinked in surprise, "What are you doing here?"

He stepped back, letting the man into the room and closing the door behind him.

"Pairo told me about the approximate time your solo would go on, so I got Cheadle to cover the rest of my shift so I could come see it," he winked and put a finger to his lips, "Don't tell anyone but he snuck me in."

Kurapika snorted and shook his head, leaning against the makeup table, "Are those for me?" He asked, gesturing at the flowers.

Leorio seemed to remember that he was holding them and chuckled, holding them out for the dancer to take, "Here, I hope you like them."

Kurapika looked down at them and couldn't help but flush. 

_No one's ever given me flowers before…_

"Thank you, they're gorgeous."

"Well its only fair that the gift match the recipient," he grinned and it felt like Kurapika’s chest was full of butterflies.

"What made you decide to come?"

Leorio shoved his hands in the pockets of his slacks, "You came to support me yesterday, there was no way I was going to miss supporting you tonight."

Kurapika swallowed around the lump in his throat, looking anywhere but the doctor’s face.

"Thank you."

He sat the flowers aside and pulled his leg up, resting his bad foot on the table so he could untie his pointe shoe and pull it off. His ankle was pretty swollen all the way around.

"You should ice that when you get home."

Kurapika looked up at him and arched a brow, "Yes, _doctor._ "

Leorio chuckled, leaning back against the wall.

Kurapika switched his legs, wobbling a little on his bad ankle. Leorio reached out and stabilized him with a hand on his elbow.

Kurapika sighed and flexed his toes when he finally had both feet back on the ground. He turned around and lifted his hair from the back of his neck, "Do you mind unzipping me?"

He felt the man step up behind him and take hold of the tiny zipper and slide it down his spine. When it couldn't go any further, Leorio pressed a kiss to the back of his neck.

"You were _breathtaking_ tonight."

Kurapika felt heat rise into his features at the tender comment. He made a noncommittal noise and slid his leotard and tights off, followed by his dance belt. He piled them all up neatly before sliding on a pair of baggy sweat pants and a familiar-looking old band tee that hung loose on him.

"Are those mine?" Leorio crossed his arms and arched a brow.

Kurapika pursed his lips and avoided his amused gaze as he got his things together, "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure, alright," the smirk was audible in his voice, "So what are you doing after this?"

"My friends and I always go out to eat at a local restaurant after a show," he swallowed, tucking a lock of hair behind his ear, "Would you… like to come with us?"

Leorio looked genuinely surprised, "Really? I mean, yea sure I'd love to."

It was then that there was a knock at the door and a yell of " _You guys better not be fooling around in there"_ from the other side before it swung open and the heads of Pairo, Shalnark, Illumi, and Hisoka popped in. Kurapika could make out Uvogin's figure beyond them in the hallway.

"You guys coming? Paku and Machi already went to reserve us a table at the restaurant."

Kurapika glanced at Leorio before nodding, "Yes we're coming. "

Pairo grinned, "Well come on, let's get going. I'm sure everyone here wants to tease and interrogate the good doctor here and I'm _starving,_ so hurry up."

Kurapika felt a chill go down his spine.

_Oh boy, here we go._

  
  


They were about halfway down the block, laughing and cutting up, when Kurapika’s ankle gave out. He doubled over and cursed, reaching down to massage the tendons.

Leorio put his hand on his back, "Hey, are you gonna make it?"

Kurapika sighed and nodded, "I'm fine, really. I just overdid it today."

Leorio looked from him to the group of friends who were hesitating a couple paces ahead of him. He shrugged and took off his blazer, tucking it into the crook of his arm, and squatted.

"Climb on."

"What?" Kurapika flushed.

"You're ankle is killing you, you've been dancing all night, and I have a perfectly good back. Climb on."

Kurapika sighed, ignoring the snickers from the peanut gallery, and climbed onto his back, holding onto him tightly with his legs and one hand, the other hand carefully holding his bouquet.

"You are _ridiculous._ If you pull a muscle, I will never let you live it down _old man_."

Leorio stood back up without so much as a grunt and adjusted his hold on his legs before starting to walk.

"I'm only four years older than you, _brat._ "

Kurapika chuckled, letting himself relax against his shoulders. He hadn't realized how tired he was. He closed his eyes and listened to the sound of his friends' banter from up ahead. 

He sighed and smiled, nuzzling into the doctors neck.

He was content.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is penance enough for the last chapter skdbkdkdhdj yall really came after me 
> 
> Submit fanart to my Twitter @renegayde007 or email it to cosmicrecyclingbin@gmail.com
> 
> Pirouette Vibe Tracks: https://open.spotify.com/track/5Nm9ERjJZ5oyfXZTECKmRt?si=OBnDkynWRKai0D7G5Vvrsw
> 
> My art tiktok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJHwykNv/
> 
> Support me on ko-fi (pls don't feel obligated): https://ko-fi.com/cosmicrecyclingbin


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurapika unveils his top secret gift for Leorio and receives something unexpected in return.

The first month of the show season flew by at an astronomical rate. The first few weeks were always the busiest, but as summer really set in, Kurapika actually had more than one day off a week, and he didn’t have to dance into the wee hours of the morning for practice.

That’s not to say, of course, that he  _ didn’t. _ He was still a notorious workaholic, afterall. Often, if Leorio’s schedule allowed it, the doctor would bring him late night spaghetti and they’d share it, sitting side by side on the glossy studio floor. 

Leorio couldn’t make it to every show, of course, but when he  _ did  _ he always brought Kurapika a bouquet of roses and sunflowers. At one point he commented to Pairo that he didn’t know why it was always those flowers in particular, to which his friend replied that he was ‘ _ the smartest dumbass I know _ ’ and dragged him in front of a mirror.

He appreciated them even more after that.

  
  


Somewhere along the way, Leorio gave Kurapika a key to his apartment. This was sparked by Kurapika accidentally leaving his gym bag there and locking himself out while Leorio was at work, but admittedly ended up being a way for the dancer to let himself in to sleep in the doctor’s bed when he was lonely, whether the owner was there or not.

The key was also extremely valuable in his secret plot. 

Kurapika had been coordinating this surprise for Leorio with the help of  _ many  _ people, and he couldn’t wait to see the doctor’s expression when he walked through the door that night. He was immensely grateful that no one had spilled the beans. 

The whole day he ran back and forth from airport to hotel to Leorio’s flat and back again. His heart felt like it was in his throat the whole day.

Kurapika knew exactly what time Leorio was getting off, because he himself had dragged Cheadle into the mix and asked her to cover Leorio’s night shift. Admittedly, it didn’t take much convincing to get her on board.

He waited about ten minutes after the clock struck six and called the doctor from the couch of Leorio’s living room. He shushed the snickers coming from the guests that sat at his sides and cleared his throat when the call connected.

“Evening, Sunshine. I just got off, want me to come by?”

“ _ Hello _ , actually I’m at your place right now. Hurry home, I’ve got a surprise for you,” He turned and winked at the surprise, getting a thumb’s up in return.

Leorio’s voice dropped to something low and dangerous that made Kurapika’s belly warm in all the right ways, “ _ Is that so?” _

Kurapika flushed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “Down, boy. It’s not  _ that  _ kind of surprise.”

“Oh,” he heard the man’s sheepish chuckle and could almost see him scratching at the back of his head through the phone, “Okay, I’m about to hop in a cab, I’ll be home in a bit.”

Kurapika smiled, “When you get here, knock on the door.”

“You want me to knock on my own-” Kurapika hung up.

He dropped his phone and the teenagers to his left and right busted into the laughter they’d been holding for the duration of the call.

“ _ Pfffft  _ Kurapika you’re hilarious! I wish I could have seen his face when you hung up.”

The dancer sat back with a smirk, “It’s fun to rile him up.”

“Do you think he suspects this at all?”

“I don’t think so, everyone has been tight-lipped, including you two. Thanks for that.”

“It was really hard keeping it a secret, I was so excited! Instead of telling Leorio, I just told Killua over and over! Right Killua?”

“Yea, it got kind of annoying.”

“ _ Rude,  _ Killua.”

_ I really hope this goes well. _

  
  
  


Around 15 minutes later there was a harsh knock and a grumble from the door. Kurapika and the younger men stood, one of them bouncing from foot to foot in excitement.

The dancer strode forward and opened the door just enough to poke his head out and see a confused and annoyed Leorio staring back at him from over his glasses. He grinned.

“Welcome home.”

“This better be a really good surprise,  _ brat. _ ”

Kurapika’s grin widened, “I don’t know about good, how about you tell me?”

He stepped back, swinging the door open.

He watched Leorio’s expression morph from confusion, to recognition, and then  _ unbridled  _ **_joy._ **

It was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“ **_Gon_ ** ?!”

“Leorio!”

Kurapika shut the open door and leaned back against it, watching everything unfold.

The brothers collided in the middle of the room, hugging the life out of each other.

Kurapika shared a knowing look with Illumi’s younger brother from across the room.

“Wh- How are you  _ here _ ?” Leorio’s voice was wrecked, straining as he fought back tears. 

The younger of the two pulled back enough to properly talk, and standing side by side, Kurapika found their resemblance even more uncanny. Gon wasn’t quite as tall yet, but he had the same lanky sort of strength in his limbs.

_ There’s no denying their genes at all, he’s like a mini Leorio. _

“Kurapika got in touch with me through Killua and paid for my ticket here,” the teen looked back at his boyfriend who gave a hand up as greeting, “Isn’t it cool that  _ your _ boyfriend is friends with  _ my _ boyfriend’s brother?”

Leorio slowly turned around and the look he gave Kurapika made the dancer’s heart skip a beat. He walked back over to him slowly, his bottom lip wobbling with every step.

“How long have you been planning this?”

Kurapika looked down and fidgeted with the sleeve of the denim jacket he had “ _ borrowed”  _ from Leorio, “A while.”

He yelped as he was suddenly picked up off the floor and spun around, “What are you  _ doing, _ put me down!” he squirmed, laughing despite himself.

Leorio sat him back on his feet and took his face in his hands. Kurapika looked into his watery eyes and felt like he was being swept away.

**_“I love you,”_ ** as soon as the words were out of the doctor’s mouth he kissed him, not even giving Kurapika time to process the confession.

_ He- He loves me? _

Kurapika was spiraling, his mind conflicted between anxiety and elation.

He couldn’t even kiss back.

He couldn’t do  _ anything. _

There was a retching sound from the other side of the room followed by a “That’s gay as hell.”

“Killua,  _ you’re  _ gay as hell.”

“Yea but I’m not  _ old  _ and gay as hell.”

Leorio pulled away from the kiss and whirled around, pointing a finger at the young model, “Now look here, I’m  _ only twenty-eight. _ ”

“Ancient.”

Kurapika watched the doctor splutter and retaliate but he wasn’t really there, his mind continuing to play Leorio’s words back on loop.

  
  
  


_ What am I supposed to do now? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I definitely didn't write the entirety of this chapter during my Google Teams meeting.
> 
> Submit fanart to my Twitter @renegayde007 or email it to cosmicrecyclingbin@gmail.com
> 
> Pirouette Vibe Tracks: https://open.spotify.com/track/5Nm9ERjJZ5oyfXZTECKmRt?si=OBnDkynWRKai0D7G5Vvrsw
> 
> My art tiktok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJHwykNv/
> 
> Support me on ko-fi (pls don't feel obligated): https://ko-fi.com/cosmicrecyclingbin
> 
> Gon and Killua are chaotic.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurapika is not a professional at dealing with his own Big Feelings.
> 
> That's what Leorio's for.

Leorio never brought up the confession and hadn’t said the words again, and Kurapika was grateful for that. His brain was still trying to fully process the situation and what it meant for him. He didn’t tell anyone about it either, sweeping it to the back of his mind like most of the things he didn’t want to deal with. Pairo had commented about his odd demeanor the day after it happened, but he didn’t pry when it seemed that Kurapika really didn’t have the capacity to talk about it at that point.

Gon stayed for a whole week, hanging out with Killua while Leorio was working and vice-versa. Kurapika came along on their adventures through the city a couple of times but mostly he let the brothers have their time together and concentrated on his work.

The night before he left to go back to Whale Island, Gon and all of Leorio and Kurapika’s friends, including several of the Zoldyck siblings, packed into Kurapika and Pairo’s apartment and had a haphazardly thrown together going away party.

Halfway through the night, Gon pulled Kurapika aside while the others were playing an astoundingly long round of cards, out of earshot of the group.

“Is something wrong, Gon?”

The teen shook his head, waving his hands, “No, no, nothing like that! I just wanted to thank you again for all of this. You have no idea how much it means to both me and my brother.”

Kurapika smiled softly, “I’m glad you were able to come out. I’ve never seen Leorio so happy before.”

“I have,” Gon replied, matter of factly, “Every time he looks at you, or even just talks about you, Kurapika!”

The blonde’s cheeks warmed and he crossed his arms, his gaze dropping to his feet.

Gon seemed to notice his unease and put a comforting hand on his shoulder, “Don’t worry, Leorio is a patient guy. He’ll wait for you to figure things out on your own. Just don’t make him wait forever, okay?”

_ Am I that transparent? _

Kurapika swallowed around the lump in his throat and nodded. Gon’s face split into a big warm grin, just like Leorio’s.

“Thanks, Kurapika!”

  
  
  


Life continued on. 

Wake up, go to rehearsal, come home. 

Wake up, perform, come home. 

Somewhere in there he'd see Leorio, call his mother, hang out with his friends.

He was getting comfortable with the way things were going.

It was about halfway through the week when he got the call. Kurapika, Pairo, and Shalnark had spent their day off at the mall and were chatting around a table in the food court, boba in hand.

His phone began ringing on the surface of the table and his brows furrowed as he read the name.

"It's Machi?" 

His friends were just as perplexed as he was.

Machi did  _ not  _ call people. She barely even texted back most of the time.

He answered the call.

"Machi?"

"Hey… Uh Paku asked me to call you. She and Bisky need to talk to you at the studio ASAP."

"Oh. Okay," he frowned, "I'll be there in a bit."

"K."

He hung up and just stared at his phone for a moment.

_ What  _ **_now?_ **

"What’s going on?" Shalnark arched a brow and stirred the tapioca pearls in his drink around with his straw.

"Pakunoda and Bisky want to talk to me."

Pairo sat back and crossed his arms, "What do you think that's about?"

"Not sure," he stood, shoving his phone in his pocket and draining the rest of his beverage. 

"Text me or something when you figure out what's going on, I'm going to be anxious the whole time."

Kurapika sighed and nodded, taking off towards the entrance and missing the concerned expression his friends shared behind his back.

  
  


They were waiting in Bisky’s office when he got there, the manager herself sitting on the surface of her desk with her legs crossed and Pakunoda sitting in one of the leather chairs with Machi next to her, leaned up close.

Pakunoda was wearing a knee brace and had a pair of crutches leaned up against her unoccupied side. Her facial expression was hard to put a name to.

Kurapika felt tense as soon as he closed the door behind himself.

"You wanted to see me?"

Bisky sighed and nodded, "It's unfortunate for us to have to do this in the middle of the season, but as Pakunoda’s understudy you will be playing the lead in our remaining shows throughout the rest of this year. Effective immediately. "

_ What?!  _

"I don't understand, what's going on?" He turned to Pakunoda, who looked up at him with a somber expression. 

"I'm retiring. During our last performance, I blew my knee out again. The orthopedics say it's happened one too many times now and won't heal properly anymore."

Kurapika had noticed just as well as everyone else did when Pakunoda stumbled after a grande jeté during Sunday's performance. She was clearly in pain for the rest of the show but she kept pushing through it, professional as she was.

Kurapika suddenly felt woozy. He sat down in the free chair and put his head in his hands.

After a moment of silence he sat back up, "Are you sure I'm the right person for this?"

"We wouldn't have made you Pakunoda’s understudy if we weren't sure."

"Kurapika," He turned to see the principal dancer’s solemn smile, "You're the only one I'd trust to take over for me. You're going to do just fine."

He took a deep breath and nodded.

"Alright. Okay. I'll do my best."

"Fantastic!" Bisky grinned, waggling a finger in the air, "Also, since this is such an unprecedented occurrence, the board has decided to go ahead and vote on a new principal dancer after this weekend's performances. If you prove yourself like we know you will, you'll have the title and new contract by Monday."

It felt like someone had shoved ice down his back.

_ No pressure, right? _

"Alright… I. I have to be somewhere soon, so I'm going to head out. Thank you."

He stood and exited the room briskly, avoiding eye contact with the three women as he left.

When he was back out on the street he was already walking in the direction of Leorio's apartment. He pulled out his phone.

  
  


**To: Leorio**

  
  


**I'm omw to your place.**

**I don't remember what time you said you'd be leaving work but.**

**Sooner would be preferable.**

  
  


As soon as the message was sent he hit the speed dial. It only rang once before Pairo picked up.

"Hey!"

"Were you waiting by the phone?"

"Duh, now tell me what the hell is going on. You sound drained."

Kurapika sighed, rubbing his temple with his free hand, "I  _ feel  _ drained,"

"Pakunoda is retiring. They want me to replace her. Immediately."

There was a beat of silence.

"That seems really sudden. I mean- This is what you wanted though, right?"

Kurapika considered that question for a moment.

"Yes and no. I wanted to be the top dancer in the city. Succeeding Pakunoda does mean I will have fulfilled my goal…"

"But?"

"But… I don't know, it's all just happening a bit fast for my taste. Plus, the only reason this is even happening is because Pakunoda’s knee gave out."

He heard Pairo audibly wince on the other end of the line. Leorio’s apartment building came into view and he could feel the tension in his neck and shoulders slowly releasing.

"If they didn't think you were up for the job, they would have given it to someone else."

He let out a noncommittal grunt.

_ "I'M SERIOUS THIS IS NOT UP FOR DEBATE _ . You've worked hard for this, Pika."

"Alright, I suppose you're right in some capacity." He strode into the building and ascended in the elevator.

"Shame on you, I'm right in  _ every  _ capacity. Are you going to Leorio’s?"

"Already there," he sighed, turning the key in the door and entering. He slid off his shoes and went straight for the bedroom.

"I figured as much. Let me know if you need anything."

"I will, thanks Pairo."

He sighed and put down his phone on the nightstand. He traded his skinny jeans and floral button down for the discarded shirt and sweatpants Leorio had probably slept in the previous evening. He ran his fingers through his hair and stood in the middle of the room, not unlike the way he had months ago on the morning after his birthday.

All around the room were marks of his coexistence in the apartment. There were hair ties and bobby pins on top of the wooden dresser (and several in various areas of the carpet as well). There were random items of his clothes hanging in the closet and sitting in drawers or piled in the laundry basket. On the nightstand next to his phone sat a stack of his books from home and a half used stick of Tiger Balm.

On Leorio's desk, amongst the other pictures now sat one of himself and the doctor together. Kurapika was smiling into the camera, but Leorio was smiling at him. He was  _ always  _ smiling at him.

_ When did I become so codependent? _

He sighed and crawled into bed, pulling the blankets up over his head. He closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of old spice and laundry detergent and  _ Leorio.  _ The remainder of his anxiety slipped away at least temporarily and he drifted off to sleep.

  
  


He woke to the now familiar aroma of Leorio's spaghetti sauce wafting through the apartment. He could hear the doctor humming along to whatever 80's dad rock song was coming from his phone and it made him roll his eyes but he smiled nonetheless.

The dancer slowly extricated himself from his nest of blankets and sat up with a stretch. He checked his phone for the time and found his favorite candy bar strategically placed right next to it. He sighed and shook his head but couldn't wipe the sleepy grin from his face.

_ Sentimental idiot. _

He stood up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He could see where the doctor had discarded his blazer and tie at the foot of the bed. Kurapika picked them up and slid them back onto a hanger in the closet before stepping out of the room. 

Leorio stood at the stove, stirring the sauce in the pot as he bobbed his head to the music. His shirt sleeves were pushed up to his elbows so he wouldn't stain them.

Kurapika stepped up behind him and wrapped his arms around the middle of him, burying his face in the back of his shirt.

The doctor jolted, having not heard him enter the room (he never could), before relaxing back into his hold.

"Hello, Sunshine. A little bird told me you were having a rough day."

"The bird was Pairo, wasn't it?" The doctor could barely make out the words, muffled as they were against his back. Luckily he'd had enough mumbled and drowsy conversations with Kurapika at this point to be fluent in this particular dialect.

"Bingo. I saw your text and figured I'd have an easier time getting straight answers out of him."

_ I should probably be offended by that, but he's not wrong.  _

He made a vague noise and Leorio chuckled softly.

Leorio turned off the stove, pouring the already drained pasta into the sauce. 

"So do ya wanna talk about it now, or later?"

Kurapika turned his head to squish his cheek against the doctor’s back.

"Later."

“Alright, here,” he gingerly turned and handed the plates of spaghetti to Kurapika, “Take these, I’ve got a bit of a surprise for you.”

Kurapika arched a brow, taking the plates and stepping back, “A surprise? Should I be worried?”

Leorio chuckled and pulled a bottle of expensive-looking  rosé from the fridge. Kurapika blinked in surprise.

“I know you have practice tomorrow afternoon and whatnot, but after hearing about your day from Pairo I decided you deserved a treat. I remember you saying this was your favorite brand.”

Kurapika’s breath caught in his throat.

_ I only mentioned that once, and that was months ago… _

Leorio poured the wine into two mismatched cups and grabbed them, following Kurapika as he made his way back to the bedroom.

“Dinner in bed? That bad, huh?”

"Don't judge me."

"Wouldn't dream of it, babe."

They lapsed into comfortable silence. Kurapika sipped at the rosé and gave a sigh of satisfaction, relaxing back against the headboard. 

The spaghetti, as always, made him feel a homey sort of comfort. Leorio didn’t get to cook for him very often, but everytime he did, eating the meal felt like being wrapped up in the arms of the man who cooked it. He ate it slowly but drained the cup of wine quickly.

It wasn't until Leorio had refilled his cup a fourth time that he realized his belly felt pleasantly warm and his head worryingly light. 

"I forgot that getting tipsy was a thing that can happen," he closed his eyes and laid back, setting his cup aside on the nightstand. 

Leorio chuckled next to him, "Well, I don't really think I've seen you drink at all since your birthday, so that isn't very surprising to me."

Kurapika sighed, "Thank you, for the wine. And candy. And dinner. You spoil me."

"I don't give you anything you don't deserve," Leorio sat his own plate aside, "Now take off your pants."

Scarlet eyes snapped open and the tinge of alcoholic pink that had situated itself at the top of his ears and across his nose brightened, "I beg your pardon? If you wanted to fuck you could have been a little more el-elo- _ eloquent _ about it." The heat in his face increased and spread as he stumbled over his words. 

Leorio let out a hearty laugh, moving down towards his feet, “Maybe I should have phrased that differently,” he pulled the sweatpants off the dancer’s legs, “Where as sex is not completely off the table tonight, it’s not what I’m getting at.”

“Besides, you usually tell me I talk too much when I come onto you. Which I don’t find convincing because usually when I talk during you tend to sque-”

Kurapika shot up and clapped his hand over the doctor’s mouth, " _ Shut. Up." _

He then put his head in his hands and slowly laid back down, "Ngh, sat up too fast…"

Leorio bit back a laugh and took one of the dancer’s feet into his hands and rubbed circles into the arch with his thumbs.

Kurapika let out a surprised moan, practically melting back into the mattress. 

" _ Mmm okay, that's better than sex. _ "

"I think I should be offended."

"Hmm? Oh, did I say that out loud?"

Leorio rolled his eyes, grinning from ear to ear, "Tipsy Kurapika is  _ very  _ entertaining."

Strong hands moved up to a well-muscled calf and began working at the knots. Kurapika cursed loudly. 

" _ Shit. _ Mmgh.. Is sober Kurapika not as en-ent-" he huffed, shaking his head to try and disperse some of his brain fog, "am I boring?"

Leorio looked up from his task, a concerned look on his face, "Why in the world would you ask something stupid like that?"

Kurapika turned his head and sighed, "I mean… all I do is dance. There really isn't anything else to me, is there?"

Leorio’s mouth gaped open and after a moment his brows furrowed in irritation, "Look, I don't know where you got such a dumbass idea but I can definitely confirm that you are anything but  _ boring _ ."

Kurapika huffed, "Yea, right."

Leorio frowned, moving to repeat the process on the other leg, “I’m serious.”

"Leorio?"

"Hmm?"

The blonde took a deep breath as the alcohol began to loosen his tongue.

"I'm… afraid. I don't know what I'll do if I fail. What if I let everyone down?"

Leorio paused and looked up with a serious expression, "Even if you did, which you won't, that wouldn't make you any less valuable as a person."

“What value do I have if I can’t dance anymore? I worry about what will happen to me after my legs fail too. It happens to everyone eventually. It happened to Pakunoda. Sometimes I feel like I’ll wake up one day and they’ll just.. Stop working altogether.”

Not expecting such a raw and honest admission from the usually stoic and tightly-wound dancer, Leorio had to take a few moments to process before he spoke again.

“Look, I know dancing is what you love. I want you to be able to do it for as long as you possibly can,” he resumed his efforts to unwind the knots in Kurapika’s legs, “But when you can’t anymore, it will be okay. That will be a whole new chapter in your life, where you can explore other avenues. It’s not coming any time soon, though, so don’t worry about that so much. I think you still have plenty of pep left in your step.”

Kurapika couldn’t help the snort that came from his nose and he covered his face, “Who  _ says  _ that?”

Leorio lifted one graceful leg onto his shoulder and his fingers dug into the muscles of his thigh. He smirked at the groan that came from the covered mouth.

“ _ I  _ do. Stop being a brat, I’m being  _ nice  _ to you.”

Kurapika let out a giggle - _ a giggle-  _ and peeked out from between his fingers, “But you  _ like  _ when I’m a brat.”

Leorio stopped and cocked an eyebrow up at him, “Yeah,  _ in bed. _ ”

“We  _ are  _ in bed, though.”

The doctor scrubbed a hand over his face, “Have you always been this sassy?”

“I can be sassier.”

“ _ Please,  _ I have an ego to maintain.”

They stared at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter.

  
  


After a few minutes Kurapika reached out with grabbing hands, “C’mere.”

Leorio arched a brow and delicately sat the blonde’s leg down, climbing up between his thighs. He hovered to keep from squashing him, but Kurapika dragged him down flush against him anyway.

“ _ Oof,  _ Hello,” he leaned up on one elbow to peer at his face, “You alright? Feeling any better?”

Kurapika’s arms wound around his neck and he gazed up at him from under his lashes, “You always make me feel better.”

Leorio grinned and leaned down to kiss him softly, “You make me feel better too.”

“I miss you when you’re not here at night,” he brought a hand up to swipe at the scruff on his jaw.

The doctor sighed and turned to press fleeting pecks across the blonde’s palm, “Me too.”

  
  


The effects of the alcohol were slowly mellowing out. Kurapika still felt warm and floaty, but his mind was less jumbled.

He studied the image of the doctor’s face. His glasses had been discarded at some point earlier, and his deep brown eyes were as warm and comforting as the rest of the body laying on top of him. He was suddenly overcome with the realization that he couldn’t imagine a life without those eyes in it. His chest became tight with emotion. He swallowed around the lump in his throat.

_ I love you. _

The admission was so deafening in his own head that for a moment he thought he’d said it out loud. His pulse pounded in his veins and his breath hitched.

“Are you alright?” Leorio tilted his head, carding his fingers through sunsilk bangs.

“Don’t tell Pairo... but you’re my favorite person,” he flushed from head to chest. It wasn’t what Leorio  _ deserved  _ to hear, but it was what he managed to let himself say, and Leorio seemed to understand what he meant. 

A grin split across his face and he leaned in to kiss Kurapika again, slowly and deeply, like they had all the time in the world.

In a matter of hours they would go their separate ways again, chasing their individual responsibilities and goals, but for now they could pretend they had nowhere else to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank everyone who has voiced their concern for my well-being, and let you know that as this story winds down there will be a couple of extra days between uploads so that I can really do the ending justice.
> 
> I love you guys <3
> 
> Submit fanart to my Twitter @renegayde007 or email it to cosmicrecyclingbin@gmail.com
> 
> Pirouette Vibe Tracks: https://open.spotify.com/track/5Nm9ERjJZ5oyfXZTECKmRt?si=OBnDkynWRKai0D7G5Vvrsw
> 
> My art tiktok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJHwykNv/
> 
> Support me on ko-fi (pls don't feel obligated): https://ko-fi.com/cosmicrecyclingbin
> 
> Kurapika uses Leorio as a weighted blanket pass it on.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Indulgence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for this chapter. It literally doesn't need to exist but I went feral so have... this.
> 
> Don't @ me.

Kurapika truly was grateful for the opportunity to step into Pakunoda’s incredibly successful shoes. He was still worried that he wasn’t ready, but thanks to Leorio and the rest of his friends, he sucked it up and trampled it under a layer of spite and determination.

The thing about playing the principal lead, though, was that usually you had to work very intimately with the _other_ lead.

And the other lead was always Chrollo.

Fortunately, for this particular ballet, the leads were _not_ the protagonists.

It was almost poetic that Kurapika would get to reprise Pakunoda’s role as the elegant but fiery Titania, while Chrollo would oppose him as the ill-tempered and manipulative Oberon for his first replacement role.

At least he didn't have to jump straight into kissing him on stage. He'd deal with that nausea when he came to it.

_A Midsummer Night's Dream_ was one of the company's favorites to perform. It was chaotic and whimsical, especially with _Hisoka_ as Puck. Bisky swore that he had been born to play the role. 

This year Pairo had been chosen to play the unfortunate Bottom- they had laughed about this for _hours._

  
  


Friday night saw Kurapika dolled up in pale, gossamer chiffon and jeweled flowers. His eyes were closed as Machi put the finishing touches on his makeup, and from behind Bisky secured his crown to his head with _another_ bobby pin.

“Are you nervous?”

He opened one eye to see Machi giving him a questioning look.

“Yes. But I’m sure everything will be fine. I learned the part from the best after all,” he smirked.

Machi returned his smirk with an almost imperceptible smile, “Yes, you did.”

There was the loud sound of Pariston yelling that they only had ten minutes left before show time, and Kurapika took a deep breath. 

Suddenly his carefully buried nerves were back.

As soon as he was ready he began to pace, shaking out his hands and going through the moves in his head.

A bony hand landed on his shoulder and he jumped. He turned around and let out a deep breath when he saw that it was Hisoka staring at him with his painted-on eyebrow raised.

“Are you planning to tunnel down to the basement? Come on, it’s almost show time,” he linked their arms together and started dragging him towards the curtain.

“I know you might feel like this is too much too quickly, and I know you’ve been told many times already that you have what it takes,” Kurapika nodded, “So I’m _not_ going to tell you that.”

Kurapika turned to him with a questioning- and slightly offended- gaze. Hisoka paused in his steps.

“Kurapika, who is it that you dance for?”

“I don’t know what you-”

“As I thought, “he sighed, “Here is the best advice I can give a talented little peach like you. The audience may love your technique and your face, the company may adore the money you make them, but you should dance for whomsoever’s opinion is the one that matters most to you,”

“Sometimes that’s another individual, and sometimes you have to dance for yourself. If you feel nervous tonight, think about who you want to impress and _impress him.”_

Kurapika floundered for a moment before shaking his head, “Thank you, Hisoka. You know, you’re pretty insightful when you aren’t being astoundingly perverse.”

He smirked and brushed imaginary dirt off the leaves that made up the bulk of his costume, “Don’t tell the media, I have a brand to uphold. Well, there is my one good deed of the day done.”

Kurapika paused before squinting his eyes, “Why did you say _he,_ though?”

Hisoka pointed to the curtain, “Because _he_ is already here.”

Scarlet eyes widened and he strode forth through the crowd to peek out of the curtain. It took him a minute to scan the rows of patrons before he landed on Leorio, near the aisle of the first row right next to Pakunoda. The two were chatting animatedly about something.

_He didn’t tell me he was coming._

He felt a presence at his side and turned to see Bisky smirking at him, “Did you find your good luck charm?”

Kurapika pursed his lips and crossed his arms over his chest, “Did you do this?”

“ _Maaaaaybe_ ,” she grinned, “I figured, if he’s gonna keep sneaking in to watch he might as well have a good seat.”

He rolled his eyes and shook his head, “Well thank you, but-”

“But why? Because this is a big night for you, and I know I’ve piled a heck of a lot on your plate these past few months. I hoped that knowing he was here to cheer you on would help you feel more confident.”

He grinned, “Thank you, Bisky. I feel better already.”

“Good, now step back and get ready, it’s two minutes to show time.”

  
  


On stage the tension between Kurapika and Chrollo was almost tangible. It crackled out from their toes across the stage. Each time they looked at each other the venom in their eyes made their characters far more believable. 

Kurapika mused that it was an advantage really.

Chrollo was an asshole, but at least he didn’t have the gall to somehow sabotage Kurapika’s dancing. Of course, anything that Kurapika did reflected back on him.

Kurapika didn’t dare look at Leorio in the front row, but knowing that he was there made him extend his leg a little higher, arch his back a little further, and take his spins a little tighter. 

Not only did he feel more confident, he was having _fun._

He hadn't realized how long it had been since dancing was anything other than a solemn daily ritual with pride attached to it.

  
  


Out of costume and make up, Kurapika sat with Pairo in the dressing room. There were two knocks before Shalnark swung the door open, “Your man’s here, Kurapika!”

Rolling his eyes, Kurapika stood with flushed cheeks, “Thank you for letting the whole building know.”

Leorio slid around his announcer, and held out his customary bouquet of sunflowers and roses, “Flowers for my fairy queen.”

Kurapika took them with a smile, tilting his head, “I didn’t even know you’d be here tonight.”

“I know,” the doctor’s lopsided grin widened, “I was really surprised when Miss Biscuit called me out of the blue the other day. I don’t even know how she got my phone number.”

There was the sound of a throat clearing and they both whipped around to look at Pairo, who was sitting very smugly, appearing to inspect his nails.

“I should’ve known,” Leorio chuckled, “Thanks, Pairo.”

Kurapika handed his bouquet off to his friend and stood up on his toes, slinging his arms around the doctor’s neck.

“I’m glad you came.”

Leorio’s arms wound around him and he leaned in to kiss him softly, “Glad I could, you were _spectacular._ ”

“Can you please get a fucking _room,”_ Shalnark sighed, “You’re ruining my appetite.”

“You say that like you _didn’t_ suck Uvogin off under the table at the company Christmas party last year,” Pairo tilted his head, cocking a brow, "in front of **everyone**."

“What’s your point?”

Kurapika sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, lowering himself back onto his soles.

“Let’s get out of here, I’m starving.”

They gathered themselves up and made their way towards the exit. Kurapika’s fingers were nestled between the doctor’s own as they walked side-by-side. He couldn’t help the smile on his face.

The smile that disappeared as soon as Chrollo saw them coming and stepped directly into their path. Leorio noticed the way he stiffened and gave him a concerned look.

“ _What,_ Chrollo? Can this wait til tomorrow?”

“No, it can’t. You and your sloppy feet should be ashamed of the tired excuse of a performance you gave tonight.”

“Do you ever give it a rest, Chrollo? Pika was fantastic tonight, you just couldn’t see it over your giant fucking ego,” Pairo snapped.

Kurapika put up a hand, “Stop, it’s fine. He clearly has criticisms so let’s hear it.”

Chrollo crossed his arms over his chest and scowled, “You looked ridiculous. Your head was anywhere but on stage, it looked like you were in another world. I’m betting I can guess what the distraction was,” he looked at Leorio with a scrunched up nose.

Leorio’s nostrils flared and Kurapika felt his hand tighten around his own.

“You act as if you’ve never seen a real relationship before. Who is it you’re dating this week, Chrollo? Or can you not remember her name?” Kurapika let go of the doctor’s hand and crossed his arms, mirroring his rival’s stance.

“Ah, see but the difference between us is I don’t get _attached.”_

“How _sad_ for you.”

“If you truly want to be as successful as you say you do, you should know that baggage like this,” he gestured to Leorio, “will weigh you down on your way to the top.”

“How _dare_ you-” Kurapika tried to take a step forward, jaw clenching, eye twitching, but was stopped by Leorio’s hand on his shoulder. He looked up at him as the man put himself between the two dancers.

He strode forward, hands in his pockets, and stood directly in front of Chrollo. He straightened his back until he was at his full height, staring down his nose at the shorter man.

“My business is not with you, Mr.?”

“ _Doctor_ , actually. It’s Dr. Paladiknight, and any business you have with Sunshine over there is mine by proxy.”

Chrollo scoffed and Kurapika couldn’t do anything but watch this unfold like a train wreck.

_Just what is he trying to do?!_

“Look, _doctor,_ I-”

“I wasn’t done talking,” he scowled, leaning down into the man’s personal space, “It sounds to me like all you wanna do is bitch and whine but you have nothing to bitch and whine about, so you make unfounded accusations with no real critique attached to them. You’re nit-picking him, just for the sake of nit-picking."

Kurapika turned and shared a dumbfounded expression with Shalnark and Pairo, who both looked pretty impressed.

“How would _you_ know if he did anything correctly?”

“I don’t know a damn thing about ballet but I _am_ a professional at calling out bullshit. Even I know saying vague shit like _sloppy feet_ doesn’t help anybody.”

Chrollo huffed and opened his mouth to retort but Leorio cut him off again, his voice dropping to something much more intimidating.

“Look, I don’t know what your beef with Kurapika is, but I do know that you’ve been doing this shit ever since he got here. I also know that your image is very important to you-”

“What does th-”

“I am **_still_** talking,” Kurapika swallowed around the lump in his throat at the sharp snap of Leorio’s voice. He could feel heat curl up from his stomach and into his face. His heart may have skipped a beat or two. 

“Listen up good, I only wanna have to say this one time. My good buddy Zepile happens to be the lead journalist for the _York New Times_. If you don’t start keeping your dumb ass opinions to yourself I’ll have your name smeared all over this town.”

Kurapika’s jaw dropped open and Shalnark’s eyes were as wide as saucers. Pairo was covering his mouth, unsure whether he wanted to laugh or not.

Chrollo and Leorio glared at each other in silence for several minutes before Chrollo simply huffed, stuck his nose in the air, and _left._

_Chrollo never leaves without getting the last word._

Kurapika was still processing what had just happened when Pairo grabbed his arm.

“I swear to _God,_ Pika, if you don’t suck this man’s dick tonight-”

_“Pairo.”_

Kurapika scrubbed his hands over his face, exasperated.

Leorio turned back to the trio and it was like the whole exchange had never happened. He wore a bright grin, hands on his hips.

“Alrighty, let’s go get some food. It’s on me tonight.”

“ _Hell yea,_ you’re the best, Leorio!” Shalnark grinned, slapping him on the back.

Kurapika followed after the other three, looking down at his flowers as if they would explain to him what had just happened.

  
  
  


"You okay? You've been quiet all night," Leorio watched him as he took off his tie and began unbuttoning his shirt.

Kurapika was curled up with a book, though he was having a hard time concentrating. He glanced up as he turned the page. Leorio unbuckled and stepped out of his pants.

"I'm fine."

Leorio leveled him with an unimpressed gaze as he slid his shirt off. Kurapika ogled him for a moment before burying his nose back in his book.

"Is this about what happened at the theatre?" He crossed his arms, leaning back against the closet door.

Kurapika closed his book and sat up, keeping his eyes down.

"I guess I just don't know why you felt the need to do that."

"I've been listening to you complain about that guy for months and I wasn't about to let him talk to you like that right in front of me."

The dancer picked at the fabric of the bed sheets, "I… thank you. You really didn't have to."

"I know that. But I wanted to," he pushed off the wall and sauntered closer to the bed, "Is that all, though? Still seems like something's on your mind."

Kurapika looked up and his mouth suddenly felt dry. He cleared his throat.

"Its, uh… I've just never seen you like that before."

"Pissed?"

Kurapika wet his lips, his cheeks warming as his eyes roamed down his chest and abs before gliding back up to his eyes, “Intimidating.”

Leorio caught on quickly and smirked, putting a knee onto the bed.

“Ah, I see what’s going on now,” his gaze was sultry and his voice dropped low as he crawled onto the bed, making his way to Kurapika’s body, “You got turned on, didn’t you?”

Kurapika’s complexion was doing a fantastic job at matching his eye color. He quickly turned his head, unable to look him in the eye. He swallowed thickly, “I did not say that.”

“You don’t have to say it,” a large hand slid up a milky thigh and Leorio’s breath tickled his neck, making him jump, “Your body is _always_ honest with me.”

He took Kurapika’s chin and forced him to look directly at him, “Especially your eyes.”

***

Kurapika gulped, feeling his stomach do somersaults and his pulse quicken. His breath came out in heavy pants and he felt his cock quickly hardening against the material of his underwear.

Leorio’s smirk widened and he slowly took off his glasses, setting them on the nightstand. He grabbed Kurapika by the back of his knees and hauled him into his lap with a rough tug. Kurapika gasped, arms flailing to grab at the sheets.

The doctor leaned over him to mouth at his neck and grinned at the full body shiver that went through him.

“Wow, you really _are_ turned on,” he sucked lightly at his pulse point, making sure not to leave any mark but still making Kurapika squirm under him, “Maybe I should talk shit to that guy more often.”

“Sh-shut up.”

Leorio’s mouth followed a trail up to his ear, “Or I could always just be mean to _you._ ”

Kurapika slapped his hand over his own mouth to stifle a moan. Leorio grabbed it and pinned it next to his head, “Unh-uh, I want to hear how much you want this. If you try to hide those pretty noises from me, I’ll stop altogether.”

The dancer’s body felt feverish and restless, he bit his lip, “You’re enjoying this far too much.”

“Maybe I am,” Leorio’s free hand slid from Kurapika’s navel up his bare chest and suggestively, _gently_ cupped his throat.

The blonde’s eyes widened and he gasped, rolling his whole body.

_Oh,_ **_god._ **

The look on Leorio’s face was almost predatory in nature and it sent sparks across Kurapika’s body. His thumb traced a path across his Adam's apple.

“Is this okay?” Kurapika nodded quickly, arching his hips again, “Use your words, Kurapika.”

As soon as he opened his mouth to answer, a moan fell out instead. He took a deep breath, “Please, yes, it’s fine, it’s-”

Leorio squeezed and Kurapika almost came undone right then.

Kurapika wanted to wipe the smug look off his face. He could feel the doctor’s erection pressing against his ass and he grinded against it, watching in satisfaction as he cursed and bit his lip.

Leorio let go of his pinned hand and teased his clothed erection with his knuckles. Kurapika choked on his own breath as his body jolted. He tried to hold eye contact with him but the intensity of his burnt umber gaze was too much and he had to turn his head away.

Leorio leaned into his ear, licking the shell of it. His voice sounded like molten lava and it made every hair on his body stand on end, “If it’s too much or you want to stop, tap my thigh.”

He gave a sharp squeeze, “That’s an _order._ Do you understand?”

Kurapika moaned, unable to even fit a coherent thought together. When Leorio’s hands began to pull away from his neck and crotch he hastily scrambled to hold them in place, “Wait- I- Yes, I understand, _fuck_ please don’t stop.”

Leorio looked extremely pleased with himself, “Good. That’s rule number two. Number three is that you cannot cum until I say so. Are we clear on that?”

_He’s going to kill me, he’s going to fucking kill me._

“Nnn, _yes,_ I get it- Leorio, _please-”_ He squirmed, the gentle attention to his dick driving him insane.

Leorio swiftly rid him of his briefs before splaying his thighs apart. His thumb traced from Kurapika’s chin down to the base of his throat while his other hand spread the sticky fluid that was steadily leaking from his tip, grasping him with a firm hand.

Kurapika trembled, closing his eyes. He rocked up into his hand, his belly already filling with tension.

Leorio did that devious little move where he twisted his wrist on the upstroke and it had Kurapika seeing stars. He moaned shamelessly, embarrassed at how fast he was already coming to release.

Leorio watched him closely, squeezing his throat gently and picking up the pace of his strokes until he could see and feel that Kurapika was going to coast over the edge.

And he stopped, pulling both of his hands away and leaving him to buck and squirm.

Kurapika whined, his eyes snapping open to glare at his smirking boyfriend.

“I’m sorry, did you want to cum?”

Kurapika’s jaw clenched.

“We have an agreement, remember? You don’t get to until I feel like you should.”

His hands stroked up firm thighs and over his ribs, almost soothingly, until he was sure Kurapika had backed off the precipice enough to continue.

He began to stroke his cock again, the other hand detouring from his neck to pinch and roll his nipples between his fingers. Kurapika let out a sharp keening noise and arched his back.

Leorio gathered some of the precum that was dripping onto his thumb and used it to rub circles into the tight muscle of his entrance. Kurapika gasped, trying to press down harder but Leorio refused to press further in.

The doctor’s other hand came down from his chest to wrap loosely around his dick and his thumb rubbed circles into the slit at the head of him. He rolled his hips, digging his heels into Leorio’s back.

He was already _so close_ again, his stomach coiling in the worst best way. He was on the cusp, right there..

_Just a little more I-_

He made the mistake of muffling a cry of pleasure and Leorio immediately dropped what he was doing and sat back, watching him arch into nothing and pant, his fists slamming into the mattress.

“ _Bastard, you-”_

“Pet names won’t help you now, Sunshine. I said I wanted to hear you,” his eyes slid along Kurapika’s tense, sweat-slick body and throbbing cock with a self-satisfied smirk, “What should I do with you now?”

Kurapika gave a pitiful moan as his dick twitched against his stomach, “ _Please,_ I need-”

Leorio grasped his jaw and pulled apart his lips with his thumb. Kurapika instinctively latched onto it and sucked as if his life depended on it. The doctor groaned.

“I think I know how you can make it up to me,” he pulled away and shoved the blonde off of his lap. He turned to sit on the edge of the bed with his legs spread. He pointed to the spot on the floor between his feet.

“On your knees.”

Kurapika gave an indignant huff, grumbling even as his blood boiled in his veins from being ordered around. He stood from the bed on shaking legs and dropped down in front of the doctor, resting his hands on his knees and looking up at him from beneath his lashes.

Kurapika glanced down at the bulge straining against the waistband of his boxers and licked his lips. He began to pull his hair back but Leorio stopped him, grabbing a fistful and tugging so he’d look up at him.

“Leave it down.”

Kurapika took a deep, shuddering breath and nodded as best he could before tugging down the doctor’s underwear. He adjusted himself on his knees before wrapping his delicate fingers around the heavy member and giving it a few strokes.

Leorio watched intensely, groaning at finally getting some attention to his own arousal.

Kurapika kept eye-contact with him as opened his mouth and tested the weight of him on his tongue. He felt a shiver of satisfaction go through him at the way the doctor swallowed around the lump in his throat and bit his lip.

He closed his lips around the head and his tongue swirled around the tip, humming at the taste of the salty fluid gathered there. He felt the hand in his hair tighten and smirked as best he could with a dick in his mouth.

He slurped at the crown of him _obscenely,_ his thumb tracing the thick veins that stood out against his shaft. Leorio’s jaw went slack and his hips gave a little buck.

Mindful of his teeth, Kurapika took more into his mouth, rubbing the tip against the inside of his cheek. Leorio’s eyes rolled back and he groaned deeply, a noise that sent pleasant sparks into the core of Kurapika’s stomach.

The dancer curled his agile tongue around the hardness in his mouth as he pulled off completely. He braced his free hand on Leorio’s thigh and relaxed his throat before suddenly taking him down to the hilt. He closed his eyes in concentration, subduing his gag reflex as the doctor bucked his hips. He didn’t choke but his throat did squeeze, and he breathed in through his nose steadily.

“ _Kurapika,”_ his name was spoken like a desperate prayer from a dying man.

Kurapika slowly slid back up and off of him with a wet _pop_ noise, before taking him in his mouth again and bobbing his head at a steady pace.

The grunts and groans from the doctors mouth were making it astoundingly hard not to touch himself. His grip on Leorio’s thigh was borderline painful but he didn’t mind it.

After a few minutes Leorio began to tug Kurapika’s hair to go faster. His head fell back and he was panting.

“You… mmff.. Fuck… you can touch yourself. But don’t you dare cum.”

Kurapika moaned around the cock in his mouth and reached down to stroke his own, steadily. It wasn’t taking him very long to climb back towards orgasm.

Leorio seemed to be faring similarly, his jaw clenched tight and nose scrunched in concentration.

Kurapika felt the string within himself get dangerously close to snapping and he closed his fist around the base of himself and squeezed tight. He pulled off of the doctor’s cock, drool running down his chin.

“ _Leorio, please I need to-”_

The doctor looked at him with a wild expression, “Look at you, you stopped yourself. I knew you could.”

He reached down and yanked Kurapika into his lap, crushing their lips together in a sloppy kiss. He licked into Kurapika’s mouth in a way that made his toes curl.

Kurapika rolled his hips with a gasp as their cocks brushed together.

“ _Leorio_ , need you.. Want you inside me..”

Leorio took a shaky breath, his hands massaging the blonde’s hips, “And I want to _be_ inside you, but you have to dance tomorrow night and we both know that you won’t be at your best if I fuck you right now.”

Kurapika hated the way he practically _whimpered_ in disappointment. 

Leorio kissed his neck and jaw, “Don’t worry, I think there’s something else we can do that’ll satisfy you. Grab the lube and get on your hands and knees. Now.”

Kurapika scrambled out of his lap and retrieved the lube from the nightstand before dropping it next to himself as he settled into position on the mattress.

Leorio settled on his knees behind him, admiring the graceful slope of his spine. His hands ran up the back of his thighs and squeezed his glutes. He leaned over him and placed love bites along each vertebrae, making him shiver.

He settled back on his heels and grabbed the lube. Kurapika was so worked up that just the sound of him flipping the cap open made him moan.

The feeling of the cold lube spilling down his ass and thighs made him jump and he gasped as deft fingers spread the substance across his entrance, over his sack, and reached under him to coat his dick as well. Leorio poured more into his hands and slicked up his inner thighs especially well.

Kurapika’s sex-addled brain didn't comprehend what he was getting at until he felt Leorio’s cock slide against his own from underneath. He moaned as it dragged against his balls.

One of Leorio's broad hands pushed down between his shoulder blades until Kurapika’s chest hit the mattress and his ass was in the air. He then pushed his thighs together and Kurapika _finally_ realized what was happening. 

He clutched at the blankets and moaned shamelessly into them, the fire in his gut only growing wilder.

Leorio took hold of his hips and slid himself between his thighs at a steady pace, groaning at the tight slick feeling around his dick.

"I'm not going to last much longer, and I know you aren't either, but," he paused, panting, "but you still can't cum until I say so."

Kurapika let out a muffled cry of frustration which was cut off by a choked gasp as a slick finger entered him.

He bucked back against the finger, tightening his thighs around Leorio’s cock.

The finger inside him crooked and lightly pressed against his prostate, making him _scream_.

" _Please, please Leorio- I can't hold on, I need to-"_

"Not **_yet_ **," his voice was wrecked but nonetheless commanding as he sped up the snap of his hips.

Kurapika began sobbing, his hands clenching around the blankets until his knuckles were white.

Leorio took his fingers from him and leaned over his back, pressing a kiss to the back of Kurapika’s shoulder. He groaned as he continued to slide himself between his thighs, hand sliding up the blonde’s spine.

"You've been so good for me, Sunshine," Kurapika choked on another sob, helplessly bucking into nothing, "Should I reward you?"

He slid his hand around Kurapika’s throat, urging him to get up on his elbows as he began to beg and plead.

The hand squeezed.

"Cum."

Kurapika gave a strangled scream and he came with furious intensity, his whole body shaking. Just as his vision was going black at the edges Leorio let go and reached under him to stroke him until he was hypersensitive and begging him to stop.

Leorio sat back up and pumped himself to completion, groaning in satisfaction as he watched his seed coat the dancer’s ass and drip down the back of his thighs.

He couldn't breathe, couldn't move, couldn't even _think._ Kurapika's body felt like it was made of jello and he flopped like a rag doll when Leorio turned him onto his back. His vision was fuzzy and his mind was hazy but when Leorio asked him if he was alright he had enough brain cells left to nod.

He closed his eyes and slowly got his breathing under control as Leorio left the room. 

He came back, cloth in hand, and gingerly cleaned both of their releases off of Kurapika’s sensitive body. 

He tossed the cloth into the laundry basket and laid next to Kurapika’s limp body, kissing his lips and cheeks and forehead affectionately. 

"You gonna be okay?"

"Mmm.." Kurapika cleared his throat, and when he spoke it was raspy, "I think so."

Leorio brushed his bangs back from his sticky face, "Good. Do you need anything?"

Kurapika considered the question for a moment.

"A shower… and some water."

"How about water first, yea?"

He moved to stand up but Kurapika pulled him back down and curled into his side.

"Give me a minute."

Leorio arched a brow and grinned, wrapping him up in his arms, "Alright."

  
  


"Leorio?"

"Yea?"

"You should talk shit to Chrollo again sometime."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am... so sorry sjsjskdjid
> 
> Submit fanart to my Twitter @renegayde007 or email it to cosmicrecyclingbin@gmail.com
> 
> Pirouette Vibe Tracks: https://open.spotify.com/track/5Nm9ERjJZ5oyfXZTECKmRt?si=OBnDkynWRKai0D7G5Vvrsw
> 
> My art tiktok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJHwykNv/
> 
> Support me on ko-fi (pls don't feel obligated): https://ko-fi.com/cosmicrecyclingbin


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The air pressure at the top of a mountain can have hazardous effects on your brain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the amazing fiona_art_947 on instagram for the art!!!!

[ ](https://ibb.co/LNSCGp8)

On Monday morning Kurapika had twisted himself into so many knots that his anxiety was starting to get to everyone else too.

Pairo, Shalnark, and Hisoka were all looking just as frazzled as he was as they went through their day, waiting to hear if Kurapika would be taking on the role of principal dancer.

Bisky wasn't present at any practice sessions that morning, and Kurapika figured that she, Pariston, and the board of directors were still meeting to figure out if he was worthy or not.

Chrollo hadn't so much as breathed in Kurapika’s direction since the confrontation on Friday night, something he found both astounding and oddly suspicious. 

Around noon, he was called into Bisky’s office. He sat down, his foot tapping from nerves as Bisky took her place behind the desk.

She held up a packet of paperwork with a grin and handed it out to him.

"Congratulations, Kurapika. You're our new principal."

He hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath until it all rushed out of him, leaving him dizzy and lightheaded.

He took the contract with a shaking hand and had to use the other to cover his face, overcome with emotion. Euphoria? Fear? He wasn't quite sure yet.

"You deserve this, we couldn't hope to have a better leader for this team."

Kurapika took a deep breath and sat up, flipping through the contract.

"Bisky, I don't even know what the appropriate thing to say is. Thank you? I feel like none of this is really happening."

_I still don't feel like I've earned it._

"You only need to thank yourself. You worked hard for this."

_Did I work hard enough?_

"As principal, you of course can skip morning classes, if you want. I know you probably won't though, but it's an option. And of course you're now responsible for critiquing and tutoring the other dancers. We can talk more about your new responsibilities later, why don't you take the contract and then go and process this. You look like you're going to throw up."

Kurapika nodded and stood, "I'll bring this back later and sign it."

"No problem! But seriously, go get some water or something, you're starting to look like a ghost."

Kurapika shook his head and tightened his grip on the papers before leaving the office.

He bypassed the studio rooms and headed to the locker room. Luckily, it was pretty quiet, with only a few stragglers in the humid area. He took his water bottle and phone from his locker and sat down on the bench. He took a generous swig from the bottle and immediately regretted it as his stomach sent it right back up. He coughed and gagged, his face flushing with embarrassment. 

He sat his water down and shook out his drenched shirt with a sigh. He stretched out his legs and picked up his phone. 

His first instinct was to call Leorio. And he very well _could_ have. Leorio wasn't working until late that evening. But he stopped himself for some reason and called his mother instead. 

"Hello? Kurapika, sweetheart what's going on? You never call during rehearsals."

"Uh.. Hey, I was just calling to let you know that," he swallowed around a lump in his throat, "that I've been given the title of Principal."

He had to quickly pull the phone away from his ear as she squealed in delight.

"Oh my _baby_ , I'm so proud of you!"

He made a noncommittal noise.

"You must be so happy, you've finally reached the tip of the top," when he didn't immediately agree her voice took on a tone of concern, "You are happy, right dear?"

"Well… yes, I am. It's just… I still don't feel like I've earned it. "

"That's nonsense, Kurapika, you've been striving for this for years!"

He sighed, tapping his foot on the ground, "I just feel like I still need to prove myself."

"To who exactly?"

"To… I don't know, myself I suppose."

He heard his mother sigh, "Dear, I don't think you'll ever be able to live up to your own unattainable standards."

Something in his gut soured.

"Have you told Leo, yet? What did he say?"

"No, I haven't called him. I called you first. I didn't," he paused, "I didn't want to bother him."

"Kurapika…"

"Hm?"

"You couldn't possibly bother that man, he's head over heels for you."

Kurapika stood and began to pace.

"I can hear you pacing, stop that. Whatever is going on inside your head, I promise he won't be bothered. Call him."

"I… suppose I could," he stopped and leaned back against the lockers.

"Good. Give Leo my love."

"Will do."

He hung up the call and stared at the screen for a few moments.

_Why am I suddenly so nervous about speaking to him?_

He scowled at his reflection in the phone screen before sucking it up and calling the doctor anyway.

It took a few minutes with no answer, and Kurapika was about to give up for now when the doctor’s voice finally came through.

"Hey, sunshine, whats up? Sorry, I was on the phone with Gon."

He felt his stomach clench with guilt.

"Oh, sorry, I can call back later-"

"No no no, it's all good. What's up? Did they give you the position?"

He reached up to secure a lock of hair back into the bun it had escaped from, "Yes… they did."

"Hell yea! I knew they would, they'd be a bunch of idiots _not_ to!"

Leorio’s jubilant tone made him crack a smile, "You really think so?"

"What? Of course, don't you?"

"Well…"

" _Kurapika._ I promise, you deserve this. I don't really understand why you don't think so, but I'll keep telling you that you do until you believe it for yourself. "

"Leorio…" he bit his lip, willing his emotions to stabilize before he did something embarrassing, like _cry._

"I mean it. Everytime I see you dance, it inspires me," the was a pause and the doctor cleared his throat, "Not to get all sappy, but seeing how hard you work makes me want to work hard too, to impress you."

"You say that as if you don't already work eighty hours a week," he frowned, "if you work any harder you'll waste away."

"If that isn't the pot calling the kettle black…"

"Leorio... Thank you, for having faith in me. I still don't really think I've earned this yet, but knowing that you do makes me feel a bit better."

"Glad to help. If you're awake when I take my lunch tonight I'll facetime you, okay?"

"Alright… oh, mom sends her love."

"What a gem, I hope I can have some of her cooking again soon."

Kurapika smiled fondly, "I'll talk to you later, have a good night at work."

"You too, babe."

  
  
  


Pairo, Shalnark, and Hisoka all insisted that they go out to eat to celebrate Kurapika’s promotion. Machi and Pakunoda couldn't make it, but sent their congratulations via text.

The group all crowded around a table in the corner of their favorite Chinese place, Kurapika mostly listening in to the conversation and not really participating. This didn't go unnoticed. 

"Say, Kurapika you've been super quiet all day," Shalnark leaned forward over the table and put his chin in his hand, "You okay? Did you and Leorio have a fight?”

“Huh? Oh no, nothing like that,” Kurapika slumped a bit, fidgeting with his fingers on the tabletop, “I don’t know, I guess I’m just shell-shocked by the promotion is all.”

“But why? You should have seen this coming a mile away. You’ve been working your cute little tush to the bone for years to get this far. None of us or anyone else at the company is surprised in the least,” Hisoka leaned back, taking a swig of his drink, “Not even _Chrollo_ was surprised.”

“I’m not certain I believe _that_ ,” he arched a brow, “I’m surprised he didn’t say anything snarky to me after the announcement today.”

“I think he’s too scared of the big bad doctor to say anything else to you ever again!” Pairo laughed, “I’ll never forget the fear he had in his eyes as Leorio told him off that day. Incredible, a win for homosexuals everywhere.”

Kurapika rolled his eyes, picking at his food with his chopsticks, “Yea, well, I’m really grateful Leorio did all that but-”

“But? Why is there a but?” Pairo frowned, “The look on your face tells me that you’re about to say something dumb and unfounded, so let’s hear it.”

He pursed his lips, scowling at his best friend, “Do you think I’m too dependent on Leorio?”

His three friends shared confused glances and Shalnark spoke up first, “In what way exactly?”

He sat back and sighed, staring up at the ceiling, “I practically live at his apartment half the time, he feeds me, comes to my shows, brings me things that I forget at his place. I look to him for emotional comfort and encouragement, and I value his opinions more than anyone else’s. I can’t go a whole day without worrying whether he’s had time to eat or sleep during his shifts…”

“Kurapika, my dear, that’s called having a healthy relationship.”

He frowned, lowering his gaze to Hisoka’s amused face, “Really?”

“Uh, yea Pika, did you fall and hit your head or something? That’s literally just normal couple stuff,” Pairo looked legitimately concerned, all three of them did in fact, and it made Kurapika’s cheeks heat with embarrassment.

“If that’s so…” Kurapika’s fingers tapped rhythmically on the table, “Perhaps I should see less of him.”

“What?!”

“God you’re stupid.”

“Kurapika I don’t really-”

“Look. I don’t think this is the right time for…” Kurapika swallowed around the lump in his throat, “I have ten times more responsibility and pressure now that I’m principal dancer. The whole company’s reputation is on the line and if I slip up, everything could come crashing down. I can’t afford to be dis-”

“-tracted? Kurapika, listen to yourself. It sounds like that bullshit Chrollo was spouting got to your brain cells. Look I don’t think any of us can accurately imagine how much pressure you’re under now, but wouldn’t it be easier to have someone to share the load? Leorio loves you,” Pairo frowned, crossing his arms.

Kurapika’s gut felt like it was being squeezed. From anxiety or guilt, he couldn’t tell.

“I guess you’re right. I’m sorry guys… I don’t know what’s come over me.”

“No sweat, you can make it up to us by footing the bill Mister Six Digit Salary,” Shalnark smirked, arching a brow.

Kurapika rolled his eyes but gave a small smile, “Fine, I’ll take care of my favorite _peasants._ ”

  
  


Despite being assured by his friends that everything would be fine, Kurapika couldn’t help but worry. Not only for himself, but for Leorio as well.

Kurapika knew his schedule was about to become even more busy than it ever had been, and he knew they’d hardly see each other.

_Leorio deserves better than that._

Over and over he listed the cons of continuing with the relationship in his head as he laid in bed that night. He didn’t think he had it within himself to break it off straight out. Perhaps he would just let time and distance do it for him. Perhaps that would be easiest for the both of them.

  
  


It was around three am when Leorio facetimed him.

He ignored it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shorter, but that's because I actually had to split a chapter in half... too much was happening. Chapter 19 will be out soon!
> 
> Submit fanart to my Twitter @renegayde007 or email it to cosmicrecyclingbin@gmail.com
> 
> Pirouette Vibe Tracks: https://open.spotify.com/track/5Nm9ERjJZ5oyfXZTECKmRt?si=OBnDkynWRKai0D7G5Vvrsw
> 
> My art tiktok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJHwykNv/
> 
> Support me on ko-fi (pls don't feel obligated): https://ko-fi.com/cosmicrecyclingbin


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurapika spins out of control.

Kurapika dove headfirst into his new responsibilities with vigor. In addition to normal rehearsals and shows, he now led a couple of private classes in the mornings and acted as a liaison between the dancers and the staff and board.

He found that the additional responsibilities were fulfilling in their own ways, and he especially liked the one-on-one tutoring sessions that some of the younger dancers asked him for. It made him feel useful, like he was really doing something to help foster the growth of the next generation of dancers.

Kurapika was barely home anymore, and at Leorio’s even less. He spoke to Leorio on the phone or through text a couple of times a week, but as the season wore on he picked up the phone less and less.

The end of the summer show season meant that  _ Sleeping Beauty  _ was quickly approaching, and for Kurapika, that meant his greatest challenge yet was coming at him full throttle.

The role of Aurora was only ever given to the most formidable of dancers, not for technical skill, but for the sheer amount of strength and stamina needed to pull off dancing for nearly twenty-five minutes straight without breaks during Act I. And the spins…

Oh  _ god  _ the spins.

The sheer amount of pirouettes during the  _ Grande Pas de Deux  _ would make any inexperienced dancer sick.

Kurapika had never performed the role of Aurora on stage, but Pakunoda had been drilling him in it nonstop while he was her understudy. He knew the moves, he was confident in his ability to remember the choreography.

But would his stamina hold?

This would be his greatest challenge so far, and as the new principal dancer of the company, he couldn’t help but feel that this was his make or break role.

Over the past few weeks, he’d been interviewed by several news outlets about stepping into Pakunoda’s shoes. He knew the media was watching, waiting, for him to slip up.

Pairo said he was being absurd.

Kurapika paid him no mind.

Infact, Kurapika had little patience or time for any of his friends anymore. He blew off their attempts to hang out, stopped going to after-show dinner, and brushed off their words of concern.

Before long he had completely isolated himself without even batting an eyelash.

  
  
  


“Elongate that back leg, Canary. Yes, just like that, you’re doing great,” Kurapika observed the class from the front of the room, hand on his hip. The small group persevered through his provided footwork and he tapped his foot along to the count.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Pairo slip in through the door and make his way over, a frustrated expression on his face.

Kurapika sighed and clapped his hands, “Alright, time for a five minute break.”

He turned to Pairo and crossed his arms as he strode up to him, “What is it, Pairo?”

“What is it? You really don’t know?” when Kurapika arched a brow he rolled his eyes, pressing his fingers against his temples, “You don’t bother answering the phone anymore so I put a note under your door last night reminding you that Shalnark and Uvogin’s engagement party is tonight and asking if you’d bring the champagne. And then I noticed this morning that it was exactly where I put it, still!”

“And?” Kurapika frowned.

_ Did I even know that they were engaged? _

“ _ And?  _ That means that you weren’t home last night at all. So I called Leorio to see if you were with him, because I knew he was off last night, and he said you weren’t there  _ either.  _ Do you have any idea how worried we were? You can’t keep sleeping here, Pika.”

“I can do whatever I want, I have keys to the building.”

“ _ Pika. _ ”

“Look, Pairo, I’m sorry to worry you but it’s just easier to stay here.”

“Have you slept at all?” Pairo leaned into his space, inspecting the dark purple around his eyes.

“Yes I have slept enough to function, now if you’ll excuse me I have a class to teach.”

Pairo scoffed, “Whatever, suit yourself. Are you bringing the champagne or not?”

Kurapika bit his lip, turning away, “Yes, I’ll bring the champagne.”

Seemingly satisfied for now, Pairo made his way back over to door, yelling back over his shoulder, “ _ Call your fucking boyfriend back! _ ”

  
  


By the end of the day, Kurapika had forgotten about the party again. His phone remained on silent, connected to the bluetooth speaker in his studio.

_ His  _ studio.

One of the perks that came with the promotion. Along with a private dressing room, several equipment sponsorships, and invitations to social events that he absolutely did  _ not  _ desire to attend.

It was difficult to practice both the  _ Rose Adage  _ and  _ Pas de Deux  _ without his partners present, but that didn’t stop him from doing pirouette after pirouette across the room until he couldn’t stand it anymore.

He did this for hours, into the night. He was in the middle of another string of spins when suddenly the music cut out. It was so unexpected that he spun right to the floor. He sat up and looked around until his eyes fell on Leorio, holding his phone at the head of the room.

_ When did he get here, I didn’t even hear him come in?! _

“What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same question. Myself and the rest of the gang were very confused when you never showed up to the party. Don’t worry, I got the champagne.”

Kurapika slowly stood and brushed himself off, avoiding Leorio’s questioning gaze as his face flushed with shame.

_ Oh right, the party…. Shit. _

Leorio sat Kurapika’s phone down and strode towards him, one hand in his pocket, the other holding a plastic bag with food cartons in it.

“I brought you some food. When’s the last time you ate a whole meal, Kurapika?” His brows were furrowed, his expression a muddled mess of concerned and angry.

“Does it matter? I’m fine. Thank you for the food but I really need to continue practicing,” he swallowed, staring down at his shoes.

“What do you  **_mean_ ** _ ‘does it matter’?  _ Of course it matters. Kurapika, we’ve been worried sick about you. You don’t leave this building, you don’t answer the phone, you haven’t even spoken to your mom in  _ two weeks.  _ Do you know how difficult it’s been, trying to reassure my  _ boyfriend’s mother  _ that her son is still alive and not mad at her?”

Guilt calcified in his gut and transferred itself to irritation, “Well, I’m sorry to inconvenience you-”

“ _ Kurapika. _ Don’t start that with me. You know that isn’t what I meant,” the doctor was doing an astounding job at keeping his tone even, “Look, we can talk about this later. For now, please eat some damn food.”

Kurapika clenched his fists by his sides. He looked up at Leorio's face and the pleading look in his eyes made him feel even worse.

He sighed, "Fine, fine I'll eat."

Leorio sighed in relief as he held up the bag of food, "Good."

  
  


Kurapika ate in silence, legs criss-crossed on the floor. Leorio sat across from him, watching him with a pensive expression. 

The scrutiny of his gaze was making Kurapika uncomfortable. 

"How… was the party?"

"You would know if you'd have come," Leorio pursed his lips, crossing his arms, "It wasn't the same without you there… I felt kind of awkward showing up to  _ your  _ friends' party without you."

"They're your friends now too, though."

"Yes, they are, but you're missing the point. Shalnark was really upset. Uvogin had to pull him away from the party to calm him down."

_ I can imagine how livid he was. _

"I'm… really sorry, I.." Kurapika pinched the bridge of his nose, "To be honest, I forgot. I don't even remember being  _ invited  _ to the party."

Leorio's brows furrowed and he tilted his head, "Are you serious right now?"

Kurapika swallowed around the lump in his throat, looking down at his half-eaten food.

"Kurapika… when was the last time you had a full night's sleep?"

"When's the last time  _ you  _ had a full night's sleep?"

Leorio frowned, pushing his glasses up his nose, "Touché."

Kurapika sat his food aside and pulled his knees up to his chest.

"Kurapika, I know you're busy, we all do… but Illumi literally flew back from his modeling gig in another  _ country _ to be at the party. If he could come, why couldn't you?"

The dancer grit his teeth, looking the other way.

"I don't have  _ time _ for this, Leorio, I have to keep working."

Leorio scoffed, jumping to his feet, "Don't have time for  _ what _ ? Your friends? This conversation?," he frowned, "Or me?"

Kurapika didn't look up, didn't speak, but his silence spoke volumes. Leorio’s calm demeanor began to crack.

"I'll take that as an  _ all the above _ ," Leorio crossed his arms, "I don't understand why you're doing this to yourself. To us."

"All I’m doing is  _ my job _ ."

"I wasn't aware that part of your new position was being an ass to the people who care about you."

Kurapika stood, taking a step forward, crimson eyes flashing dangerously. 

"The people who care about me should understand what I am trying to do."

Leorio’s ears and neck began to flush with anger, "So what? You're just going to live here and work yourself to death and leave me and everyone else to worry about you endlessly?"

"My friends and family are fine," he swallowed around the lump in his throat, crossing his arms and turning away from him, "But you… You deserve better Leorio."

"Damn right, I do!"

"We both work all the time, and that's not going to change. If we continue like this, you'll only get hurt."

"Yes thats- wait, what?" Leorio took a step forward and Kurapika backed away. 

"You need someone who can be home when you are, someone who can meet your needs and be there for you like I can't. Which is why I've been backing off more. You should find someone else."

Leorio floundered for a moment, his facial expression going from confusion to pain to  _ rage. _

"Now wait just a damn minute, you don't  _ get  _ to make those decisions  _ for me _ Kurapika. I'm a grown-ass man. If I wasn't in this for the long hall do you honestly think I'd be here having this conversation with you right now? I  _ love  _ you."

Kurapika sneered, "Don't you get it? This is all that I am, I don't know how to do anything else. If I fail at this then I let  _ everyone  _ down."

"Ah, so that's it. This is all about  _ you _ and your pride and your desperate need to prove that you're God's gift to ballet. I just get in the way, dont I?!"

Kurapika shrunk in on himself as Leorio raised his voice.

_ What am I doing? Why am I doing this? _

"Leorio, I-"

"No, you know what, this is stupid. I  _ know  _ you love me. But I guess you just don't love me more than you love that stage."

Leorio’s eyes brimmed with angry, unshed tears.

"I always kind of knew that. I was fine with being number two. But if you want me gone, fine. I'm gone."

The doctor stomped over to the door and paused with his hand on the knob. He didn't bother turning back around again as he spoke.

"I hope that after this is all over and you can't dance anymore, that you and your tired feet and your satisfied ego will be happy together, Kurapika."

"Leorio…"

Kurapika watched him leave and suddenly felt horribly empty and ill. His back hit the mirrored wall and he slid down, putting his face in his hands.

His mother's words from months earlier rang forth unbidden.

  
  


_ "...believe me when I say that losing a man like that would be your greatest misfortune." _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends, we've made it all the way to the end. The next next chapter will be the last, and I hope I can end it in a satisfying way. Thank you once again for your continued support!
> 
> Submit fanart to my Twitter @renegayde007 or email it to cosmicrecyclingbin@gmail.com
> 
> Pirouette Vibe Tracks: https://open.spotify.com/track/5Nm9ERjJZ5oyfXZTECKmRt?si=OBnDkynWRKai0D7G5Vvrsw
> 
> My art tiktok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJHwykNv/
> 
> Support me on ko-fi (pls don't feel obligated): https://ko-fi.com/cosmicrecyclingbin
> 
> I hurt myself with this one.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Give us an encore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've arrived at the final chapter. My feelings are so incredibly bittersweet about this. Please please PLEASE read the notes at the end for some announcements and sappy words.
> 
> Thank you for your support.
> 
> The Rose Adage: https://youtu.be/qqejv_BQ7Zg
> 
> The Grande Pas de Deux: https://youtu.be/sxxSa8mJSRo
> 
> EDIT: the incredible artwork is by @kuredoxx on Twitter!!!
> 
> On with the show~!

Kurapika felt as if he was breaking apart piece by piece. 

Leorio didn’t answer his calls.

_Why would he? I never answered his…_

His friends looked at him with disappointment, concern, _pity._

He _hated_ being pitied.

His mother had scolded him, told him that he had been horrible to everyone, and that hurt almost as much as the memory of Leorio’s watery eyes the night they parted.

He started to lose his drive.

He began sleeping at home again because being alone in the studio made him replay the fight in his head over and over. Even so, lying alone at night made him crave the strong arms and obnoxious snoring he’d come to be used to. Leorio was the last thing on his mind at night and the first thing on it in the morning.

Kurapika’s dancing wasn’t suffering much technically, but his lack of motivation was felt by everyone, and the last couple of shows had gotten less than stellar reviews.

He took this _very_ personally.

Between working himself to death and attempting to repair his friendships, he tried to put the doctor out of his mind for good.

It wasn’t working.

  
  
  


“You know, I don’t really understand why you feel the need to pretend he doesn’t exist. It’s clear that you want to make up with him.”

Kurapika gritted his teeth as Melody, his physical therapist, ran a metal tool over the back of his calf.

“It doesn’t matter what I want, oof- he won’t answer the phone. I went to his apartment and he wasn’t there.”

“Did you try the hospital?”

“Nngh, no, I’m not going to corner him at _work_.”

The short woman sighed, pulling the tool away and setting it to the side.

“I didn’t say _corner_ him, Kurapika. Just ask to have a conversation. I’m willing to bet he’d be willing to hear you out if he feels you’re being sincere about it.”

He hissed as chubby fingers dug into this ankle around the achilles tendon.

“What good would come of it? What would I even say? Hey, I love you and I’m sorry but I’m still going to do the things I want to do and you’ll just have to deal with it? Yea, as if he would go for _that.”_

Melody shook her head, standing back and crossing her arms over her chest. Kurapika had never truly seen the woman lose her patience before, but this may have been the closest he’d ever get.

“Kurapika, I believe you’re missing the point. You know, plenty of people have busy lives and healthy relationships at the same time. Do you honestly think that you only have room in your heart for dance?”

Kurapika frowned, “Well… no, I-”

“And you do know that, as a dancer of your standing, you can _choose_ when to be at the studio if you aren’t rehearsing and such, right?”

“Yes, but I-”

“And you know that it is good and important to take breaks, right?”

Kurapika looked down at his bare feet, “In theory… yes.”

Melody gave a long-suffering sigh, “Kurapika, you know the harder you push yourself, the shorter your career will be, right?”

He swallowed around a lump in his throat and it felt like it lodged itself in the pit of his stomach.

“What are you implying?”

Melody lifted one of his legs and made his knee joint flex, “Do you know why Pakunoda’s time on the stage was so long? Why it took her so long to finally retire?”

_She did have a longer career than most…_

“Because she took breaks, Kurapika. She didn’t overexert herself beyond her limits.”

“Maybe I should talk to Pakunoda… Get her opinion on it.”

“That would do you some good, I think. Just don’t let this go on for too long, Kurapika. The more you drag this out, the more _both_ of you suffer.”

  
  
  


“Thank you for agreeing to meet with me, Pakunoda,” Kurapika sat back in his seat, fingers interlaced on the tabletop.

“Anything for my favorite protege. But I have a feeling you didn’t just want to grab coffee together. Something’s on your mind,” the woman put her chin in her hand, observing him with a concerned gaze.

“Am I really that obvious?”

“Yes, but also, Machi told me about what’s been going on with you lately. Everyone’s been worried about you. And when you and Leorio- well…”

Kurapika peered somewhere over her shoulder, unable to look directly at the soft, pitying look in her eyes.

“That… That’s pretty much what I wanted to talk about,” he took a deep breath, “I’m having a hard time grasping the concept that I can be a great dancer and do other things as well. I feel like I don’t have the time and energy to devote to anything else.”

Pakunoda sat back and nodded, sipping at her coffee delicately.

“First of all, this is exactly how I felt when I took on the role of principal. It was something I had to work out in therapy,” she paused, tucking a strand of golden hair behind her ear, “But I’ll save you the six-hundred dollar bill and give you some direct advice.”

Kurapika nodded, sipping at his tea.

“My first problem was that I had stopped dancing for fun, or for myself, or for anything that wasn’t just the sheer _fear_ of being less than what was expected of me. I pushed away everything that I thought would hold me back and I ended up all alone. I lost my friends, I lost my passion for dance… I lost _myself._ ”

Kurapika chewed on his bottom lip.

_I think that’s already happened to me…_

“I was so unhappy that it began to affect my performance. Not only that, but I took such poor care of myself that I began to get sick. I vomited on stage one night and that was like an eye-opener to me. So I went to therapy. And basically, I was told what should have been obvious. It’s okay to take breaks. It’s okay to have friends and take care of yourself. If you don’t, you’ll drive yourself into an early grave. And then none of it will have mattered anyway.”

The shock on Kurapika’s face mellowed into something low and guilty-looking. Pakunoda reached out and wrapped a manicured hand around his own, giving it a comforting squeeze.

“I know how hard it is to just let things go once in a while. People in our positions, we tend to be… for a lack of better terms… control-freaks. Perfectionists. It comes in handy when we are operating in the studio and on stage, but it also tends to make us alienate ourselves.”

Pakunoda frowned, letting out a deep sigh, “Even after I had my revelation, I still let my fear of failure hold me back from things I wanted.”

Kurapika’s brows furrowed and he tilted his head.

Pakunoda’s lips quirked up slightly, “Machi.”

Kurapika nodded in understanding, “Ah, so you-”

“For years… We skirted around each other. And that was my fault. I knew how she felt about me, and I knew how I felt about _her._ But I never let anything come of it until now because… I let fear control me.”

Pakunoda took his hand and squeezed it between both of her own, her eyes filled with an imploring sort of fire, “Kurapika, don’t make the same mistake I did. I wasted so much time.”

Something in Kurapika’s chest felt like it had been torn apart. He looked down at the table, his bangs covering his eyes.

_I don’t want to lose any more time. Pakunoda is lucky that Machi waited… I can’t expect Leorio to do the same… I wouldn’t want him to._

He shook himself from his thoughts and stood abruptly, “Thank you, Pakunoda, for talking some sense into me. I have to… I really need to-”

“Go, don’t keep him waiting. I’m rooting for you,” her smile was a bright, maternal thing, and it bolstered his confidence. 

He quickly swallowed down the rest of his tea and bolted from the cafe, ignoring the scorch of his tongue and throat.

  
  
  


Kurapika didn’t know whether or not Leorio was working, but the odds generally were that he was at the hospital.

Over the months of their relationship, the hospital staff had become well acquainted with Kurapika, so when he went up to the front desk and Ponzu, the receptionist, looked at him as if he wasn't supposed to be there, he was equally as confused.

"Hey there, Kurapika, can I help you with something?"

"Is Leorio here? I really need to talk to him."

Ponzu tilted her head, blinking as if he'd been talking in a foreign language. 

"Uh… Kurapika, Dr. Paladiknight hasn't worked here for several weeks now. How did you not-"

It felt like ice had shot through his veins. 

"Wait, what do you mean? He quit?"

"Well, yea. Are you guys not…? Did you break up?"

Kurapika looked away, fidgeting with his shirt sleeve.

"Maybe I should call Dr. Yorkshire for you. Hold on a second."

Kurapika stood awkwardly next to the counter as Ponzu called Cheadle. 

When the doctor emerged from the double doors, her expression was pensive and a bit guarded, "Kurapika. This is very… unexpected. Come with me."

  
  


Cheadle's office wasn't _sterile_ per say, but it wasn't nearly as vibrant as Leorio’s had been. Her desk sat at the back of the room and there were a couple of chairs in front of it. Along the walls were book cases that went from floor to ceiling, and there was a couch and ottoman in the middle of the room. There wasn't very much in the way of trinkets anywhere, but Cheadle didn't seem like a knickknack person anyway.

Cheadle sat herself behind her desk and Kurapika took one of the chairs across from her.

“Leorio told me about your argument. I didn’t realize you hadn’t made up yet, Kurapika.”

“I… Well that’s why I came, actually, I thought he would be here,” his brows furrowed and he fidgeted in his seat, “But Ponzu said he had quit? What’s that about?”

Cheadle sat back and pushed her glasses up before crossing her arms.

“This isn’t really my business to tell, but I thought you had already known anyway, Kurapika. For quite some time now, Leorio and I have been planning to open a private practice clinic together. About a month or so ago, Leorio told me that he wanted to expedite that. He said he was tired of the hospital hours keeping him from seeing you. So we both started talking to investors, and as soon as we had financial backing he put in his notice here.”

Kurapika blinked, his jaw going slack.

_What?!_

“But, I don’t understand, why would he just stop working if the clinic isn’t even running yet?”

“You don’t seem to listen very well, Kurapika,” she grinned, shaking her head, “He quit to spend time with you.”

Kurapika’s hands gripped the fabric of his jeans until his knuckles were white.

Cheadle gave him a moment to process the information before speaking again.

“I assume you had the argument before he had the chance to tell you any of this.”

Kurapika nodded, “Yes… though I suppose I didn’t really give him the opportunity to say anything.”

_I was too caught up in my own head._

“If you’re looking for Leorio, he should be home right now. I can’t promise he’ll answer the door, though. He’s pretty upset with you, Kurapika.”

The dancer nodded, swallowing thickly.

“I don’t blame him… Thank you, Cheadle. I’ll be going now.”

“Of course, Kurapika.”

  
  


As he left, Kurapika paused outside what used to be Leorio’s office. The plaque bearing his name was gone, as if it had never been there at all. Kurapika put his head down and left quickly.

  
  
  


Kurapika stood at Leorio’s door, gathering his nerve. He took a deep breath before rapping his knuckles against the wood.

He waited a few minutes before doing it again. This time he heard the floor creak and some shuffling. He waited but the door didn't open.

He knocked one more time and heard more noise.

_He's in there, he just doesn't want to talk to me._

Kurapika felt his chest tighten unpleasantly.

He pressed his palms to the door and sighed.

"Leorio… I know you're there. You don't have to open the door, but if you would just listen… I would really appreciate that."

He heard more shuffling and the door moved slightly, as if something had pushed on it from the other side.

Kurapika cleared his throat and swallowed his pride before speaking.

"I'm sorry. I treated you so terribly, when all you ever did was treat me well. I don't deserve you. I don't deserve my friends either, but I'm working on making it right with them."

He paused to gather his thoughts.

"I'm sorry that I always put you last. I was selfish and stupid. I realize now that I was wrong about a lot of things. My priorities have been all screwed up."

He heard a deep sigh from the other side of the door.

_At least he's listening._

"I went to the hospital… I didn't know you had quit… I assume I would have known if I had picked up any of your calls. Cheadle told me why you did it. And knowing that it was for me, makes me feel like the world's stupidest person."

Kurapika leaned his forehead against the door.

"I don't expect this apology to fix anything. I know I'm not entitled to a second chance. But since I've got you here… I think you should at least get to hear me say this out loud for once."

He swallowed around the lump in his throat.

"I-I love you, Leorio."

He waited a moment and sighed when there was no response. Perhaps on some level he had expected the confession to have _some_ effect.

"I know that I should have said it a long time ago… But I've said it now."

He sighed and pulled away from the door, "I'll leave you alone now… I just. Thank you for listening at least. Goodbye, Leorio."

He waited another moment, hoping the door would open but it never did.

He managed to hold in his tears until he got home. 

  
  
  


Kurapika was _not_ a crier.

Pairo could count on one hand how many times over the years he'd seen the blonde shed tears, and usually it was due to injury. 

So when he came home to his best friend _sobbing_ in the middle of the living room floor, he was thrown for a loop and automatically went into protection mode. 

"Alright, who did it, who do I need to kill? Let me call Shalnark, I bet he could hide the body for us-"

The brunette dropped to his knees next to Kurapika and began rubbing circles into his back.

Kurapika wiped his nose on his arm, looking up at Pairo with a swollen face and red eyes.

"I went to apologize but.."

"Apologize? To Leorio?"

He snuffled and nodded, "But he didn't open up so I just talked to the door. He was there on the other side, I could hear him.. I told-" he choked on a sob, "I said I loved him and there was just… silence. Pairo, I don't know what else to do."

Pairo sighed, pushing his bangs back from his eyes.

"Well, I say this with love in my heart, Pika, but I don't really blame him. You hurt him pretty badly. You hurt all of us. And I know you're sorry and you're working on yourself, but you can't expect him to just act like it never happened. He needs time, Pika."

Kurapika nodded, pursing his lips to keep them from wobbling.

"I'm sure he'll come back around when he's ready. I really don't think you can get rid of him _that_ easily. He's crazy about you."

Pairo took Kurapika’s chin and tilted it up so he could wipe the tears from his face.

"Now come on, let's get some snacks and put on _Golden Girls._ "

  
  
  


Kurapika’s nerves were not faring well.

It was Friday night, the premiere of _Sleeping Beauty_ , and Kurapika felt like his insides were going to become his outsides. He paced his dressing room, fingers fumbling with the embellishments on his tutu.

“If you don’t _calm down_ you’re going to pass out. Now come here and sit down,” Pairo called from his place on the arm of the plush sofa.

Kurapika stopped and made to cover his face with his hands, before remembering that he was wearing makeup and Machi would sever his spinal cord if she had to reapply it before the show even began.

“I just.. I’m not sure I can really do this, Pairo.”

“You’ve been practicing for ages, Pika. We all know you can do it. You were _born_ for this.”

Kurapika strode forward and carefully sat on the edge of the sofa, “If you say so.”

“It isn’t just the show itself though, huh?” Pairo leaned forward, arching a brow, “Is it Leorio?”

Kurapika took a deep breath and nodded, staring down at his toes.

“I wish he was here… I always felt better when I knew he was watching.”

“He _was_ your number one fan,” Pairo put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed, “But you should dance tonight as if he was watching anyway. Be the dancer he knows you are.”

Kurapika nodded, slowly.

“I.. I’ll try. It’s bad enough I have to get kissed by _Chrollo_ tonight. I mean yeah, it _is_ just a stage kiss, but a kiss nonetheless.”

Pairo scrunched up his nose and made a retching noise.

“I do _not_ envy you.

Kurapika sighed.

“I think that if tonight goes poorly I’ll consider stepping down as principal.”

“What?!” Pairo stood abruptly, “Pika you can’t be serious.”

“I am, though. If I can’t do this role justice then that means I’m not ready for this position.”

Pairo crossed his arms over his tunic, “Look, just do your best. After the fact, if you’re unsatisfied, talk to Pakunoda about it. Talk to Bisky. Just don’t step down without fully thinking it over, okay? You’ve worked so hard to get here, I’d hate to see you just throw it away.”

Kurapika sighed and nodded, looking up at the clock on the wall, “We should go stretch, it’s almost show time.”

“Alright, let’s go.”

Kurapika followed Pairo towards the door, but paused in front of the mirror on the vanity table. He took in his appearance. Bathed in shimmering pink, with roses tucked in his bun and sewn at his breast, he mused to himself that Leorio would call him pretty.

_Leorio…_

He could imagine the doctor standing behind him in the mirror, his large hand on his shoulder or wrapped around his waist as he whispered sweet nothings in his ear.

“Coming, Pika?”

Kurapika snapped out of his daydream and turned back to Pairo, “Yes, I’m coming.”

_I’ll be dancing for you._ ****

  
  
  


The _Rose Adage_ was Aurora’s grand entrance, so to speak. Kurapika had to channel the energy and vibrance of a bright-eyed sixteen year old girl, while dancing at a long and drawn-out pace.

He stayed on his toes seemingly endlessly as he danced around his suitors- Pairo, Shalnark, Nobunaga, and Phinks, and charmed the audience with his grace.

It was _exhausting._

For each of the roses he was given, he imagined they were from Leorio, and the thought kept him going strong.

As the night went on, it became easier to pretend that Leorio was there, cheering him on.

When time came for Florimund to awaken Aurora from her sleep, he imagined Leorio’s lips against his own instead of Chrollo’s.

Kurapika was proud of himself but he was running out of steam and the most challenging part of the ballet was upon him.

Kurapika could trust Chrollo to not let him fall during their shared dance in the Grande Pas de Deux, but for his solo portion it was all up to his feet and he was already feeling the strain.

He had a moment of respite during Chrollo’s solo, taking a drink just off stage as Machi touched up his makeup.

“You’re doing fantastic, Kurapika,” Bisky grinned at his side, “We’re on the home stretch now.”

He nodded, trying to catch his breath before the water bottle was yanked from his hand and he was ushered back onto the stage.

He took a deep breath as he strode daintily into the center mark on the balls of his feet. He went up on his toes and became someone else.

The tiny steps, flitting back and forth as he portrayed a princess just excited to be alive and in _love,_ he felt like he wasn’t acting all that much.

And then came the turns. A dizzying combination of chaînés and piqués and pirouettes.

_Find a point to focus on, and you won’t fall. Find a point-_

His eyes instinctively locked on to Leorio’s usual seat in the audience.

He was there.

Kurapika spun around the stage as if his life depended on it, his heart hammering in his chest. He never lost focus, his eyes trained on the man staring back at him with an awestruck expression.

_He came._

  
  


Kurapika’s energy had shot back up and he remained that way through the end of the ballet.

Standing on stage with his fellow dancers at the end, as cameras flashed and the audience cheered, he searched for Leorio’s face again but it was gone.

He tried not to let it get to him, continuing to smile until he was off stage.

He pushed through the crowd of dancers, ignoring words of congratulations by staff and friends alike as he ran around, searching.

Oddly, the area around his dressing room was devoid of people. He paused with his hand on the knob, looking around once more before going in.

_Maybe he wasn’t there after all…_

His thoughts of temporary insanity were squashed as soon as he walked into the room.

Sitting on the sofa with a bouquet of sunflowers and roses across his lap, was Leorio.

He inhaled sharply, hand flying to his mouth. The doctor sat the bouquet aside and stood, a lazy grin on his face.

“Hello, _Sunshine._ ”

Kurapika took a couple of small steps forward and Leorio did the same, hands in his pockets, until they had met in the middle of the room.

“You were _divine_ tonight. It was easily your best performance to date.”

The dancer looked up at him, into his deep brown eyes, and his chest felt tight.

“You.. You actually came. I can’t believe you came.”

“No matter how angry or frustrated I get with you, I’ll still be here to support you when you need me.”

“I.. I didn’t-” Kurapika shook his head, willing his mouth to cooperate with his brain, “I’m so-”

Leorio took his chin in his hand, the other coming up to brush an errant lock of hair back from his face. Kurapika felt his heart skip several beats.

“I know, it’s okay. I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have blown up at you the way I did. It didn’t do anything to help anybody.”

“You- Why are _you_ apologizing? You quit your _job_ for me. I can’t even- What on earth made you do something so reckless?”

Leorio grinned sheepishly, scratching at the back of his neck.

“Well, I made sure I financially was in good enough standing to do so, before just jumping off the deep end. It was something I was going to do anyways, eventually. Cheadle and I had always been planning to go into private practice together.”

His hand slid up to cup Kurapika’s jaw, his smile slipping into something more tender.

“After you became principal, I couldn’t stand not seeing you at all. Yes, I loved my job at the hospital. It was tough but rewarding. And yes, I’m taking a massive pay cut, but I’ve never been one to live extravagantly anyway. You’re more important than any of that.”

“Leorio…”

“Being my own boss means I get to make my own schedule. I won’t work evenings, meaning I can come to all of your shows and sleep by your side every night. And that’s what I want more than anything.”

Kurapika’s cheeks flushed and he swallowed around the lump in his throat.

“I don’t understand how you can just… say things like that and sound so sincere.”

Leorio chuckled, leaning down to rest their foreheads against each other.

“I think I’ve been in love with you since I woke up with you in my bed for the first time, Kurapika. If there’s anything in this world I’m sure of, it’s that I can’t be without you. So you better get used to me, I stick like cement.”

Kurapika let out something between a laugh and a sob, throwing his arms around the doctor’s neck. He stood up on his toes, nearly eye to eye with the man, thanks to his pointe shoes.

“You are such an _idiot._ ”

“And you’re still my _brat._ ”

Kurapika smiled, brushing their noses together.

“I love you.”

“I know,” Leorio smirked, “I love you too.”

Their lips met, and the dancer felt all of his pieces click back into place.

There was a round of applause and whistles and whoops and hollers from the open doorway, and they pulled apart with flushed faces, their eyes landing on their friends who were spilling into the room.

Kurapika sat back down on his soles and crossed his arms, looking quite vexed as Pairo smirked at him.

“It’s about time you guys made up, I’m tired of your miserable face,” The brunette flicked his gaze up to the doctor, “If I ever have to console a _crying_ Pika again, because of you, you’re going to be the one needing a doctor.”

Leorio’s hands flew up, “I- Uh yea.. Thats uh-”

Kurapika pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head.

“Alright, yes this is a beautiful reunion. However, some of us are _starving_ so if you could please get a move on, that would- Ow! Dammit, Hisoka, what was that for?” Shalnark scowled, rubbing his back where the redhead had given him a poignant punch.

“Perhaps we should all go ahead to the restaurant. We’ll save you two a seat,” Hisoka grinned, ushering the group back into the hallway. He caught Kurapika’s eye and winked at him.

When they were alone again, the door firmly shut and _locked_ , Kurapika turned his back towards the doctor and sent him a sly grin over his shoulder, "Unzip me?"

  
  
  


After dinner Kurapika and Leorio walked towards the doctor’s humble apartment, the late summer evening air thick with humidity and the sounds of the hustle and bustle of the city. One of the dancer’s hands held his bouquet, the other was entwined with his boyfriend’s. Leorio had his dance bag slung across his shoulders and was rambling on about things he noticed during the show that night.

“You know, I really didn’t like seeing you kiss that guy.”

Kurapika snorted, “I didn’t like participating in it either.”

“Please tell me I’m a better kisser.”

“You’re the _best_ kisser. Were you jealous?”

“Of course I was,” he grumbled, sticking his nose in the air.

“I’ll make it up to you, later.”

They walked on in silence for a moment before Leorio snuck a glance at him out of the corner of his eye.

“Hey Sunshine?”

“Mmm?” he turned his head, peering up at the man’s profile, “What is it?”

“I don’t understand how you did all of those spins without falling over or throwing up. What’s the trick to it?”

Kurapika let out a breathy laugh.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, it’s just that I did what I should have been doing all along.”

Leorio stopped in his tracks, turning to give him a questioning gaze. Kurapika gave a soft smile, looking up with warm scarlet eyes.

  
  


_“I focused on you.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all!!! Thank you so much for reading this. Writing it has been an absolute treat and I've become so attached to this world I've created that I've decided to create a collection of one-off stories in the same universe. These will be a combination of sort of deleted scenes, some background stories, and some stories about side characters like Pakunoda and Machi. If you have any ideas for things you'd like to see me write about for this au PLEASE dm me on any of my social media platforms or comment below!
> 
> Now on to the part where I start getting emotional. Cringe warning incoming.
> 
> I posted the first chapter of this story a month ago, today. When I posted it, I didn't expect anyone to read it at all. I was really just writing it as a way to distract myself from, well, everything going on in the world and in my life. When I started writing this I was... honestly I was very lonely. I had been missing having a group of friends to scream about my hyperfixations with, like I'd had before in other fandoms that fizzled apart. 
> 
> Through this one stupid fanfiction, though, I've made so many new friends. There are so many people who have reached out to me on various platforms, but I am especially grateful to Cass, Mars, Jack and Ying who have made me laugh and smile endlessly since coming into my life on twitter and I hope that we can be pals for a long time. This chapter I dedicate to all of you.
> 
> Thank you to anyone who has left comments, made art, gave kudos, or just clicked on this story. Words can not express how much serotonin all of this has brought me. I hope that you continue to enjoy whatever I write next.
> 
> Much love,
> 
> Jess
> 
> Submit fanart to my Twitter @renegayde007 or email it to cosmicrecyclingbin@gmail.com
> 
> Pirouette Vibe Tracks: https://open.spotify.com/track/5Nm9ERjJZ5oyfXZTECKmRt?si=OBnDkynWRKai0D7G5Vvrsw
> 
> My art tiktok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJHwykNv/
> 
> Support me on ko-fi (pls don't feel obligated): https://ko-fi.com/cosmicrecyclingbin
> 
> "Work like you don’t need the money. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Dance like nobody’s looking." - Satchel Paige

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfic I've written in SEVERAL years, and I'm really excited about it. Leopika shippers come get y'all juice.
> 
> I have an art tiktok, feel free to stop by and check it out @cosmicrecyclingbinn
> 
> No betas we die like homosexuals.


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